Impressive Depression
Stand Firm
September 2012
X-Ray Robinson

I was doing so much that I broke. But when I broke, I had to go on and continue because of my commitment, drive, and responsibility. But continuing on in a broken state only caused me to keep breaking the more I served, gave, and worked, the more I broke. I was so broken that the things I was doing, the relationships I was in, all my efforts, began to break also. But still, I worked, served, and pressed on; because "I" was all I had. There was no one to take my place, no one to stand-in, nor stand-by, just in case I fell. No credit card to put all my bills on, and take off for 18 months, so that I could think things through. No team to pick-up the slack, no staff, best friend or partner, equipped to do, answer or act forward in the events of my aching, crumbling life and calling.

The torment of my childhood pain, trauma, and confusion had only fed and grown on my ignoring it. And now, it was not a monkey on my back, but King Kong himself was applying all the destructive pressure and the enemies of my soul were truly completely pleased with my devastating, terminal, and slow motion fall.

But the father authorized every move. He does not put on us any more than "He" can bear. He authorized a seed to break me open, and it grew into a tree that would bear the great that would cause me to be the broken-open winner that I am and He intended.

Here and now I recognize and embrace the truth that restoration has come forward in my life, radical, ridiculous, and real. Never forget that the necessary ingredient is that we must "STAND FIRM". (Galatians 5:1)

I AM an African Classic & Broken-Winner

X-Ray

[photograph of an African ceremonial mask]

Warrior, priest and king - Amsa Mesut

Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to YOU.
Psalm 143:8