Do You Remember?

Damn bro, I'm sitting back in this man-made cell reminiscing on the times we've shared. Corey, do you remember that time when we skipped school at D-Nice crib so mama wouldn't find us - Chain smoking blunts hoping to put the past behind us. But the pain was too much to bear. Remember how I used to cry in your arms saying that daddy didn't care. Your favourite line was 'I got you forever'. Do you remember? How about the good times when you used to keep me up all night to listen to you rhyme. I swear you was going to be the next Pac of our time. Do you remember being on punishment and playing Nintendo 64 with the volume on low and trying to act cool. Or giving me your chicken cause I said, 'Left hand give it up fool.' Do you remember me now? Times when mama didn't have enough money so we used to steal bikes from white boys. Remember when I caught my first lightning bug and you helped me put in my ear. Remember when wearing gum wrappers in your teeth was cool, when mama beat your butt for smoking them Cool's. Damn big bra, how could you forget.

Tay-Tay, do you remember having ol' girl tap that young dude on the shoulder just to tell him that you thought he was fine. You used to giggle in class cause his long hair used to blow your mind. In 5th grade I said you was ugly but you knew I was lying. Even Mr. Armstrong thought you was fine. I was happy to tell all my guys that you were mine. Damn baby girl, them was the times. Don't you remember? How I used to wear my braids straight to the back. You said that I was the only dude who'd ever made you crack. How about the first time I said I loved you and you said it back. We used to stay up all night in mama's cold attic. Remember when I fell off those pee-pee mattresses and broke my arm but wasn't crying cause I didn't want to cry in front of you. How about the time when you told Cherish that I was yo Boo! Do you remember me now? Cheering at my games and screaming out MIKE. About that first time when we made after our first fight. My first month in prison, I swear that got me through the night. Damn Tay-Tay, I remember it all. How about the first time me, you and Makiya shared as a family. Daddy. Mommy. Abd Child. But I guess time has wipe me out of your memory. Thought we would be together forever just like a heart beat. Now I see how it is. Who'd have figured that we'd end like this. In the yearbook we were chosen as most likely to exist, in twenty years.

Damn Tex, it seems as if you've forgotten me too. I miss you so much I just don't know what to do. When it came to you it was ask questions last cause first it wss shoot. Me and you together was like Webbie and Boo. Whenever they saw me, they saw you. We played red light green light on the porch because we couldn't leave off the stoop. Remember playing freeze tag to that Usher song. Or having to be in the house before the street lights came on. I lay up at night wondering if you ever think of me. I'm still the same big headed dude who was made cause I couldn't beat you in 007 Goldeneye. The same dude who when I was told I look just like you I used to cry. Remember how mama used to make us wear our pig tails down to the side. How about when ol' boy was picking on you and I was ready to ride, or did you forget that one too. I can't believe you forgot about your baby bro! Now that you're gone I swear it cut me the most. Do you remember in Iowa when you threw that stuff under the seat. and how at sixteen, I took the fall and you never wrote me at all. It's been almost sixty months since I heard from you. I wake up crying at night and know you're missing me too. Damn bro, do you remember me now.

To be continued...

This short letter is so painful for me to put down on paper because I love both of my brothers - Corey and Cortez - and the mother of my child, Tay-Tay. But I also wanted you to know that I messed up. Really bad, but that doesn't make me inhuman. I still remember the good times we used to share. I remember it all and thought that maybe if I reminded you of them that just maybe you could find it in your hearts to forgive the person who you've shared so many wonderful times with, ME! The thought of doing the rest of my time without you is like taking the air I breathe. Sucking the life right out of me. Just the thought of it hurts. Take care y'all. Peace and love to all!