6-1-11
True Freedom

There is something to be said about anyone who wakes up one day and realizes the mess they've made of their life. Something more is said when the person begins to make a conscience decision to change the things that got them where they are. It's not easy by no means. It takes determination, strength, and steadfastness.

Most of us didn't get this way overnight. Therefore, we cannot expect to be reformed overnight either. It's progress not perfection. Easy does it. One day at a time. I've heard these said many times, but I'm only now grasping the concept of "living in today", let alone accepting that it's not about fixing anyone else. It's about me.

I work a program of honesty. It's not always one I want to work, but one that is necessary for myself to make it. I can't tell you how to get to this place, but I can tell you what worked for me. I work the 12 step programs, Celebrate Recovery, and I am very involved in church. I am accountable to others and that helps too. one thing I've refused to do is lie to myself.

My own opinions of myself, the things I done, kept me bound in chains of guilt and shame. By the time I realized this, I had no self-worth; hate filled my heart; unforgiveness permeated me to the depths of my soul. what a sad and self-destructive place to be.

However, today, I am free. Though I'm incarcerated, I walk free on the inside of myself. You know, I'm grateful for every day I have spent without my independence because, had I not landed here, I may have never found true freedom.

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6/4/11
Motivated by Love

What motivates you today?

Upon pondering that question, I've come to the conclusion that I'm dutifully motivated by one thing today: love. I am well aware of the fact that love means different things to different relationships and associations. Moreso, people use the word freely without the depth of the emotion being real. After so much hurt, I decided it was time that I love intentionally and on purpose.

I'm motivated to love people whom I have been harmed by and will, as often as possible, accept love from those I myself have harmed. I know that it's strange revealing myself to the world this way, but there will be good to come of it.

I've got to admit that over the past few years, I have come to know the levels and depths of love. I also understand that it's not easy to open one's heart or life to love because it means running the risk of being hurt. You'll never know love with doing so.

People we love will fail us. They will hurt us. It's how you react to their failure or their hurt that will make the difference. You love them IN SPITE OF! More than anything, you don't give up on them.

Love motivated several people to continue to be beside me and cheer me on, even in my dark days. It caused me to see that true friends don't care what you do for them—they want you well.

So I got motivated by love!

A best friend who would go to any length for me, help me to see what it means to be loved until I could love myself. thank you so very much, Anthony. I'd rope the moon for you, but you are already the sun in my life.

An old school cat who encouraged me to see beyond the time I was doing to a future where I will be able to look out for myself (without doing illegal things). Thank you, CB, for encouragement, love, and devotion. You rock-rock!

To so many others who dedicated time to teach me how to allow God to change me—I applaud you each. You know who you are, and that's what counts.

A kindred spirit, soul mate, and so much more taught me what it means to love unconditionally and to believe God for every word He speaks. My rib belongs to you—thank you! James, you changed me for the better.

Love on many levels. Motivated by love to be better, do better, and live better. So I'm motivated by love today and always.

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6/7/11
Just a Note

Yeah! I'm finally up and running! Now I do know that some people may not like what I put up, and that's okay. I only ask that those who've read what I wrote respect what I'm doing. This is not a place where I would use my pen to harm anyone. I just want a platform to tell my story, share my days, etc.

From time to time, I'll post artwork done by my father or myself. More than anything, I write. I'll place my poems and songs up too. Just takes time. Of course, I've got some to do. LOL

I thank you in advance for any comments that are left for me, and to all of you who visit and share my blogsite with someone else. May God bless and keep you each.

Truly,
Frances