Recent Comments

When is enough, enough? What you request; 'forgiveness' is not unreasonable.

You may have once been a rapist... does it make sense to think that is all you are still, or all you are capable of, even after more than 2 decades.

Those of us on the outside have the privilidge of growing and changing over time. It is not only expected of us, but occurs naturally. Why should you not? From a sociatal perspective, I say you are not given any incentive to be anything more,unless we reach out the hand of forgiveness to you and trust that you are capable of more.

I don't live in the USA; my country sentences more fairly I believe and doesn't write people off for a lifetime because of bad decisions made in a moment. In fact one of my old school friends did two terms of imprisonment for charges of rape yet now, as a free man who has been provided with the opportunity to do better; has a stable job, a wife and family and the incentive to make good choices each and every day. It saddens me that you are not given that opportunity. We are all more than our worst act and you should be awarded the opportunity to prove that to yourself, your victim, your loved ones and society through the positive contribution I believe you are (we all are!) capable of. How do we as a society expect you to do better if we do not provide you with those opportunities? We cannot.

Hey Buddy! We miss you tons cant wait till ur home! We droveby the old house today so that the boys could see it! They are crazier than ever! :) and so big!!! Well Alvin my # is still the same so i expect to hear from you when u get home! Thanks for the card! Ur a very sweet dear friend Alivn! See you soon man!! Love ya Jamie Brad Zarin Zach Zavery :}

One of the worst feelings in life is to feel forgotten, even for a month or week(s) much less for 20 years!! It so easily can get to the point where one feels like they are not just forgotten but that they no longer even exist either. I enjoy reading your words of self expression and they speak volumes from the soul. I noticed you ended this one about a plea of innocence....if I had to suffer for just 10 yrs much less 20 and was innocent, I cant imagine what my heart mind or soul would break down and do to my world....or what I had left of it anyway. I admire you for your strength and for even being able to express how you think and feel after so long of being discarded (a perfect word you use) and forgotten like something in an attic that nobody even remembers or knows of anymore. I have felt that feeling, but share my kindest thoughts with you and send them your direction because I have never experienced it like you must have. I know this can be personal, but is there anything you can do to change this if you did not do this crime? Has anything in the past done more other than let you down or left you hanging with false promises or too busy lawyers/defenders? I feel for you, James, and truly send the kindest of peaceful thoughts to you at this second. From CC.

LOL (smile) at this post....sounds like I can sometimes be but not on purpose! Hey, Im not a procrastinator and I DO listen when someone is speaking to me......I just dont remember anything very well. Haha! Have a good day and keep posting. -CC (east coast)

James, I typed up a very good response to this and my internet connection went nuts on me since its always being mean to me these days at least it seems that way.....but until I can find the right words again to convey to you what I read with nonjudgmental eyes and heart in your words in this post I just wanted to tell you quickly that I am reading, and have also myself questioned how so many commit crimes that are truly unfathomable and never feel remorse or wonder when/how long or how they can ever redeem themselves and wash off that label from their long ago past mistakes that the now regret entirely. I wonder where the line is drawn between a serial killer/mass murderer who takes out an entire town or rids the world of 15-18 people in 2 yrs without being ever suspected (because they later admit they didnt care and still dont care, so their crime does not bother them, and then the media slowly makes sure to stop bugging them after 1-2 yrs and no one can harass them again much less even know what prison they are even in despite what horrible life altering (ON MANY LEVELS and FOR MANY OTHERS) crimes he has to live with and seems perfectly capable of doing so? Does that make sense? If someone like that is never expected to redeem themselves, and if they are its done by calling them crazy/insane by psychologists.....then what about lesser crimes that did not carry such evil that cant be taken back EVER in this lifetime? I just want you to know I feel where you are coming from, and the post Id written out before losing my connection online was great so I hope to type it up again shortly for you. Please know I am reading and commend you for speaking your true feelings, so I will speak mine as well. -CC

When referring to the feeling deep within my soul that was not originally my own thought entirely, I wanted to elaborate a bit: Its as if my creator who knows me better than any of my worldly friends/loved ones as he made me, knows I am capable of reaching the limits that even I do not feel strong enough to do. Its almost as if its a very strong pull that has been getting heavier with time. There are many things that occured (medically, due to my stupid actions before I chose to use the right way of thinking, etc) or began a decade ago mainly, that show me that I should not be alive unless its for a reason. So many instances where I was literally unscatched and left with nothing but mental memory of the issues/coming so close to death- and at one time these were not just mental memories but scars that I used as an excuse to suffer from to pity myself. This was 10-13 yrs ago. I truly feel I am being told I am ALIVE and was kept ALIVE because of a bigger purpose meant just for me and the revealing of that, should I take the stroll and meet my Creator halfway and have a heart to heart about it via my soul/self, seems to be pulling me harder lately as if the time is growing more and more near in some way, or maybe I am just exaggerating? However, this is something that I did not ever consider on my own with my own thinking and believing.....its simply as if it started out as a vague pull from my soul but the direction was unknown as was the place it was coming from for a year and a half. Then it only has grown more intense, especially since the end of 2010, start of 2011, and I can no longer ignore it. Maybe He above finally feels I am strong enough inside and out to achieve his meaning for me here on earth? It sure is strong and growing only stronger even when my mind is elsewhere 100 percent. what do you think about this? -CC

This print speaks to me in so many ways, not just for my beliefs in balance that must keep the world on its course, but its beautiful to me. Id love to know more about how to maintain a lifestyle as you do, as I am also living but only for a few years do I have any experience and will always have my weak times when I feel as if I am going to falter, even if I do not want to fall back down. Any advice would be appreciated, even those these times over the past few years have became few and far between, much more rarely do they occur, if anything Ive experienced only 3 of them within over 6 years. One of which I knew was leading me down a negative path inside and I knew to cut the thoughts loose ASAP before they reached deep into my soul and refused to let go- which would only remind me of the past where I did not appreciate all the wonder surrounding me daily. Thanks XRAY for being an inspiration for me to grow in every way possible, it is not always easy to go it alone but I have adjusted in ways that I am proud of but not in a boastful manner. I have grown alot stronger over time but I do believe I could (with advice from one like me and plus the life experiences from here until my life ends on this earth) achieve so so much and even that is not a thought of my own, its a thought deep in my soul that is lacking because I dont know where to turn next to further my beliefs. Any words of wisdom or advice for a new soul that just yrs ago fell into the right place and state of mind through the grace of his love above? -C.C.

Well Alvin I messed up, Jacob is going to 4th grade and will be attending Fairview school again! I just thought Id drop that line to let you know ! Only a few more days and the new baby will be here Sept 4th is the date they have her scheduled for as of now ! Be good SEE YOU SOON!!

I believe that some of the truly best places one can spiritually and mentally be at peace in life are also the hardest to reach, yet when we finally arrive all seems to finally make sense as to WHY? Its as if after a lifetime of climbing a rough mountain, you finally reach the right spot and you learn to use your past pain in a positive way. As long as you have the heart and open your mind and soul to what is calling you out of your own personal created Hell you are dwelling in, its an open invitation for all of us here on Earth. And totally worth the long road traveled to get there and not give up when things arent revealed to us quickly as we impatiently wish they would be. -C.C.

I too, did not get mentally aware of the things I should have long ago appreciated and held onto/noticed years before, etc until wallowing in the dirt and misery of rock bottom for many years myself. This piece literally left me speechless for now and that barely happens with my replies and comments to the blogs I read on here. I will comment in a better more detailed fashion later on, but wanted to let you know that I too did not just get lucky and receive the blessings that were put upon me to learn to work with and use as time went on in my life, I had to go through the hell and suffering to come to my senses first. As nothing is ever easy, nor do I expect it to be that way. Like I said though, overall Im speechless because so much jumped out at me in your words on this post so Ill give a more coherent reply later (smile)- leaving me speechless is pretty hard so feel special! Thanks alot XRAY, you have been a lifesaver for me during my time(s) lately that I have almost slipped up and went back to only relying on my feelings and not my mind AND heart AND soul and the TOOLS/GIFTS I was given from above to work with when I learned how best to do so..... and when you mentioned that among other things, for once I will not be typing a 3000 letter reply (smile) like Im known for doing on this website! Never change, and keep the truth where it matters- in your heart and passing it into the hearts of those who are lost and DONT WANT TO BE LOST as some do. Wow, I am still just overall speechless when it comes to what I really wish to share right now, but there is so much to say that you mentioned that I relate to. Much Luv, C.C.