How are you doing? Last time I wrote you I had mentioned that we had just seen you on TV and I had my son watch in amazement your comments about drinking ice water after 10 years. Hope you remember us. Anyway, I hope this letter finds you with lifted spirits and a better comfort level while in general population. Have you gotten used to sharing a cell after so long? Things out in California are pretty good. Living out here is still very expensive, and the weather has been stormy at best these days. I assume your getting quite a bit of mail after the airing of your story, and by the looks of all the postings on this website, folks are keeping you busy with letters and hopefully new friendships. In your last letter you had mentioned that you have lost both your parents over time, and for that I am sorry. Not sure if you have much family or not so you know that you have our moral support. Again, you are still a topic of conversation in our home. Regards, Carlos H.
This is some kind of letter. Your mother must have changed to try to be responsible for taking care of herself and you. You must have done something with your mom that was not introverted. Movies, going out to eat, something???? Maybe your mother had a lot of bills and did not have money to do more things. If she was fun loving when she was younger it is possible to be that way again. She just needs her family to help her out to improve. She needs to be financially secure so she is able to do more things. Concerts are great. I bet she likes them. Movies once a week would be great for anyone. I could go on and on. When you go home to your mother make sure she knows that you love her and that there will be peace every day. I am sure your mother would love to find this website and use it to communicate. I hate writing letters and a big part of the time the words in the letters can be misinterpreted. I am so very sorry that your mother does not write to you. I bet you are on her mind every day. If she is anything like me I can guarantee it. She loves you and misses you. It cannot be any other way. I used to try to do things with my son before he got into trouble. With so many things happening and so many bills it was hard but I tried. He just never wanted to do those things. He had other interests and in his teen years he would leave home and be gone for days. I would go into his room and sit and cry because I had no idea where he was and if he was alive or dead. I hope my son is old enough now to appreciate the wonderful house he can come home to. It will be harder to do things now because I have diabetes and fibromyalgia and it makes it hard to do much. Quality of life is definitely not what it was a few short years ago. Arthritis causes pain. An injury to my back years ago makes it hard to do things. But I sure look forward to stepping outside with him into the fresh air. Well I need to stop now. It is almost my bedtime so I can work tomorrow. My three african grays are out of their cage and one is sitting on my knee. They like to catch me napping and bite my toes. Birds are fascinating little creatures. I sure wish I had wings.
I got a call from my son yesterday. Once again he has been transferred to a different prison. He gave me some news that would be a blessing if it comes to fruition. I am 53 and if I live until the release date I will be 68. Considering health issues I am not sure that I will be alive. I bought my first house a little over a year ago. I was fine in a mobile home before that until a hail storm knocked 14 holes in the roof. So I thought the best thing that I could do would be to purchase a house that I can leave for him so he has a place to go. That is my worry every day. He has lost most of his teen and young adult years by ending up in prison. Something that he told me on the phone led me to believe that the amount of time might change. I sure hope that is true. I have trouble maintaining relationships with anyone because of where he is. I blame myself for a lot of the things that happened and not being stricter with him. I spent a lot of time mopping up the mess after things would happen but nothing compares to each day of fear in my heart knowing that someday he might not survive in the federal prison system. The prisons have always told me that I cannot have visitation with him. His calls have been very restricted and we get about 5 minutes a month on the phone now and that was not allowed until a couple of months ago. I can close my eyes and visualize him here and the hugs that would happen. I would be elated. I have punished myself mentally because I blame myself for a lot of it. My heart is very heavy with sorrow all the time. It would be a life saver for me if he could come home before I die or before I am 68 years old. I hope what I have posted here will give Jeremy some things to think about because I know his mother must be feeling the same way that I do. I want my son to know that but it is difficult to express in a five minute phone call. For the rest of my life I would spend every day appreciating him because he has been missed for so very long. If he never knows anything else in his lifetime he should know that he means more to me than anything or anyone.
I finished the transcription for your post. What's the soundtrack of my life? Tough question. I like almost all music, except a lot of the addictive noise pollution coming off the huge record labels. I also like to think of noises in my human habitat - not necessarily music - as part of that soundtrack.
Loved the Post. Its so true. A true measure of a mans success in live should not be how much he can afford to pay for his shoes but how much Joy he feels. I truly believe a person of very modest means can be richer in every sense of the word if his Joy comes from having the Lord in his life, not from the amount he can pay for his shoes. I believe the same can be said of ones surrounding, a man in prison who knows the Lord can know more real Happiness and Joy then the man who lives in a Mansion and only finds his happiness chasing the almighty dollor. Keep the posts coming.
RSS
How are you doing? Last time I wrote you I had mentioned that we had just seen you on TV and I had my son watch in amazement your comments about drinking ice water after 10 years. Hope you remember us. Anyway, I hope this letter finds you with lifted spirits and a better comfort level while in general population. Have you gotten used to sharing a cell after so long? Things out in California are pretty good. Living out here is still very expensive, and the weather has been stormy at best these days. I assume your getting quite a bit of mail after the airing of your story, and by the looks of all the postings on this website, folks are keeping you busy with letters and hopefully new friendships. In your last letter you had mentioned that you have lost both your parents over time, and for that I am sorry. Not sure if you have much family or not so you know that you have our moral support. Again, you are still a topic of conversation in our home. Regards, Carlos H.
I will venture that the story is an allegory for drug use/addiction/overdose? Let me know if I am wrong.
Keep up the writing!