My love Sunday night - nearly midnight...I remember we would be downtown, just hanging out...walking around aimlessly - mostly looking for trouble - lol. Do you recall the ‘dairies’ out in West Sac - we’d bring home sandwich stuff and chips and cookies for Cella and the little boys....funny how I don’t remember Linda being there, but she must have been - she was only about 12 or 13 then. Guess that’s what happens when we get old - selective memories. I choose to remember (and romanticize) those times. You’re right - we were - are - crazy...we could have had it all - but instead we threw it away - multiple times....we are so lucky to have this last chance. Safe - yes - you always made me feel safe...even when we argued, I knew that you’d never touch me violently - and that you’d die before you let anything hurt me. I’ve always had a hang up about being safe and secure - so odd when you think about how fearless I acted - lol I love you. Always and forever....I know you won’t get this until way after Christmas, but Merry Christmas anyway. I’ll mail your card this week... Love - always and all ways Your Jeannie
I just watched Your story on the Netflix series: I am a killer and although You did kill Darren, I don't feel You deserved death, as like You said, the hospital killed Denise, so good luck and I hope you one day get offered a chance to come off death row and have a chance to get your sentence reduced to a life sentence! Peace out and God bless You My brother! Love your long distance brother from England: Kye
Hello Douglas. I find as I get older I become far more introverted and taciturn I can't talk for talking sake. I recently fell out with an ex friend who drive me absolutely mad with her incessant gossiping and inane chat. Any kind of pause in conversation would induce her to babble a way, she drove me crazy. She was quite a compassionless toxic person, she seriously crossed a line with me a few months back and I struck out, verbally, I;m usually a doormat, so that was that, so we don’t have to put up with her this Christmas, which sounds heartless, but, boy, If you met her!! Conversely, I do enjoy earwigging other peoples conversations. People talk loudly on their phones in public, in the Mall, or in the street, and sometime have the most inappropriate conversations out loud. I’ve actually burst out laughing listening to someone’s ‘private’ conversation, and got a dark look back off them! Is the row a quiet place. I often read that jail is quite noisy, night and day, and they say that the row is the safest place to be in jail, because people don’t have anything to prove or prove in people? Speaking as someone who doesn't like spending time in their own head (I don't meditiate) I think that solitary confinement would send me insane quite quickly. There is a book I recently read produced in the USA with accompanying DVD called In the timeless time. It was written in 1979 when Texas stopped executions for a decade. And on this particular row documentaries logged the conversation and behaviour of the inmstes. In such a stultifying regime the inmates got quite creative and sneaky! Some of the guards were just a nightmare, a lot of power plays which was sad. But some were briliisnt, trying to make the best of a bad environment. Among the blogs here and on other innate contact t sites, when I have looked into what the guy actually done to get jailed sometimes I am absolutely appalled by their actions. There are some horrors of humanity there and I am glad they have walls around them and they will forever be removed from the world. There is a price to be paid for a bad start in life, and the people who should pay it never do. The mental strain on people living in the row is beyond my comprehension, there is a great strength to live carrying remorse. And with the weight of a sentence . Thing with preachers and all those sort of people they never truly understand the implications of making the wrong choice of doing something because it's easy. They have the Bible or Talmud or Koran and refer back to that, but life doesn't happen between the paragraphs or sentences of a page in a book, it happens between heartbeats. You sound strong to me, and in control of yourself and observant of others. Things may get lost in translation sometimes, but we breathe the same air. Happy New year T
Hello Douglas Hope you are enjoying the Christmas season. As Buddhists we don't celebrate, or I say that but as I have children we do buy them presents and tuff to open on the day because of the friends they have who also get stuff. I cook a Christmas dinner and we sit in front of the television all day because the shops are shut! This year will soon end and we will be into another decade. I am quite addicted to Netflix at the momemt. Loads of movies, series and documentaries. In the UK we have to pay for UK station the BBC, and now there are all these pay tv companies like Amazon prime, Apple 🍎now TV all trying to clear out our wallets. Lots of choice and .no choice at the same time. When I was younger, here in the UK there was only three television stations! It's weird that a device has so much control over a person's life, so influential. Well we just had our election, and the Conservative got in again. Honestly I am too old to care what they do. I see Trumps impeachment seems to be going full steam ahead. I am sure I read that if he is accused of anything he has the power to pardon himself? These are strange days. It's like the worst of the worst are in charge of things. Have you watched the programme 60 days in? They sneak people into county jail so they can report from the inside what jail is like and how drugs etc are getting smuggled about. Very violent environment. UK jail isn't like that we don't have the colour and the gangs bollocks. I expect it will come though. We tend to copy the USA. How can people change when they are placed in a hostile microcosm that has its own rules and laws? It's a system doomed to fail. But no one cares because they don't want to see no at spent on it. Hopefully they send this today and you get it qyickly. Have a great Christmas and Happy New Year. All the best T
Hello my love It’s Sunday evening - sky has been clear most of the day - but relatively cold. I made it to church today - had to leave my sweater in the car - they always have the heat on in the building - probably wouldn’t be so bad, but the people add extra heat. I’m not the only one who feels it - the lady who sits in front of me is usually fanning herself too :) I was right the other night - internet went down right after I saved the first half of this message. By the time it came back up I was sleeping- it seems like it takes forever! I’m sorry you didn’t get your birthday card in time for your birthday - I’ll probably mail it tomorrow or Tuesday - hopefully you’ll get it before Christmas! I love you - gonna go to bed and pretend you’re there to snuggle with....hope you’re feeling well Always your Jeannie
RSS
Sunday night - nearly midnight...I remember we would be downtown, just hanging out...walking around aimlessly - mostly looking for trouble - lol.
Do you recall the ‘dairies’ out in West Sac - we’d bring home sandwich stuff and chips and cookies for Cella and the little boys....funny how I don’t remember Linda being there, but she must have been - she was only about 12 or 13 then.
Guess that’s what happens when we get old - selective memories. I choose to remember (and romanticize) those times.
You’re right - we were - are - crazy...we could have had it all - but instead we threw it away - multiple times....we are so lucky to have this last chance.
Safe - yes - you always made me feel safe...even when we argued, I knew that you’d never touch me violently - and that you’d die before you let anything hurt me. I’ve always had a hang up about being safe and secure - so odd when you think about how fearless I acted - lol
I love you. Always and forever....I know you won’t get this until way after Christmas, but Merry Christmas anyway. I’ll mail your card this week...
Love - always and all ways
Your Jeannie
Peace out and God bless You My brother!
Love your long distance brother from England: Kye
I find as I get older I become far more introverted and taciturn I can't talk for talking sake. I recently fell out with an ex friend who drive me absolutely mad with her incessant gossiping and inane chat. Any kind of pause in conversation would induce her to babble a way, she drove me crazy. She was quite a compassionless toxic person, she seriously crossed a line with me a few months back and I struck out, verbally, I;m usually a doormat, so that was that, so we don’t have to put up with her this Christmas, which sounds heartless, but, boy, If you met her!! Conversely, I do enjoy earwigging other peoples conversations. People talk loudly on their phones in public, in the Mall, or in the street, and sometime have the most inappropriate conversations out loud. I’ve actually burst out laughing listening to someone’s ‘private’ conversation, and got a dark look back off them!
Is the row a quiet place. I often read that jail is quite noisy, night and day, and they say that the row is the safest place to be in jail, because people don’t have anything to prove or prove in people? Speaking as someone who doesn't like spending time in their own head (I don't meditiate) I think that solitary confinement would send me insane quite quickly. There is a book I recently read produced in the USA with accompanying DVD called In the timeless time. It was written in 1979 when Texas stopped executions for a decade. And on this particular row documentaries logged the conversation and behaviour of the inmstes. In such a stultifying regime the inmates got quite creative and sneaky! Some of the guards were just a nightmare, a lot of power plays which was sad. But some were briliisnt, trying to make the best of a bad environment.
Among the blogs here and on other innate contact t sites, when I have looked into what the guy actually done to get jailed sometimes I am absolutely appalled by their actions. There are some horrors of humanity there and I am glad they have walls around them and they will forever be removed from the world. There is a price to be paid for a bad start in life, and the people who should pay it never do. The mental strain on people living in the row is beyond my comprehension, there is a great strength to live carrying remorse. And with the weight of a sentence .
Thing with preachers and all those sort of people they never truly understand the implications of making the wrong choice of doing something because it's easy. They have the Bible or Talmud or Koran and refer back to that, but life doesn't happen between the paragraphs or sentences of a page in a book, it happens between heartbeats. You sound strong to me, and in control of yourself and observant of others. Things may get lost in translation sometimes, but we breathe the same air.
Happy New year
T
Hope you are enjoying the Christmas season. As Buddhists we don't celebrate, or I say that but as I have children we do buy them presents and tuff to open on the day because of the friends they have who also get stuff. I cook a Christmas dinner and we sit in front of the television all day because the shops are shut! This year will soon end and we will be into another decade.
I am quite addicted to Netflix at the momemt. Loads of movies, series and documentaries. In the UK we have to pay for UK station the BBC, and now there are all these pay tv companies like Amazon prime, Apple 🍎now TV all trying to clear out our wallets. Lots of choice and .no choice at the same time. When I was younger, here in the UK there was only three television stations! It's weird that a device has so much control over a person's life, so influential.
Well we just had our election, and the Conservative got in again. Honestly I am too old to care what they do. I see Trumps impeachment seems to be going full steam ahead. I am sure I read that if he is accused of anything he has the power to pardon himself? These are strange days. It's like the worst of the worst are in charge of things. Have you watched the programme 60 days in? They sneak people into county jail so they can report from the inside what jail is like and how drugs etc are getting smuggled about. Very violent environment. UK jail isn't like that we don't have the colour and the gangs bollocks. I expect it will come though. We tend to copy the USA. How can people change when they are placed in a hostile microcosm that has its own rules and laws? It's a system doomed to fail. But no one cares because they don't want to see no at spent on it.
Hopefully they send this today and you get it qyickly. Have a great Christmas and Happy New Year.
All the best
T
It’s Sunday evening - sky has been clear most of the day - but relatively cold. I made it to church today - had to leave my sweater in the car - they always have the heat on in the building - probably wouldn’t be so bad, but the people add extra heat. I’m not the only one who feels it - the lady who sits in front of me is usually fanning herself too :)
I was right the other night - internet went down right after I saved the first half of this message. By the time it came back up I was sleeping- it seems like it takes forever!
I’m sorry you didn’t get your birthday card in time for your birthday - I’ll probably mail it tomorrow or Tuesday - hopefully you’ll get it before Christmas!
I love you - gonna go to bed and pretend you’re there to snuggle with....hope you’re feeling well
Always your Jeannie