IN MEMORY OF IT ALL
The execution of another friend, yet again in a seemingly endless rift, has tarnished, faded and utterly crushed my
objective for the past few weeks. I’ve not had the inspiration or motivation to rekindle the ﬂame and keep the passio
and plight of my convictions, and our very uphill ﬁght on going.
First off with all due respect to the Victims of murder and the lives lost, family forever torn and hurt, I by all means
and with much self analysis and considerations always take ﬁrst and foremost their feelings into consideration.
Before I write anything encroach on the very sensitive subjects and the Death Penalty.
Secondly I’d like to share with you that from this side of the razor wire fences, it’s very hard. I speak for myself
when I say it is a foreign world I never imagined existed. One of the hands challenges personally was, believing I
could change, ﬁnding in inner strength and courage to think and act differently from the way I had in the past. I
needed to realize that I was locked into a repeating cycle, of mistakes, self esteem long ago hit bottom (all time low)
without a doubt to change I had to let go consciously of the past and understand my dilemma.
The turning Point was after a year on death row, I'd also but given up on life. It was a couple of friends (both
executed who stirred my awakening and shed light on my self despair and who stirred my awakening and shed light
on my self despair. I had run up against the proverbial brick wall of this all. My memories, beliefs, lack of education,
trials and tribulations the key meaning of life. It’s safe to say I felt unwanted. And so it began, I started re-teaching
myself and to this day I am learning, consider me learned.
To try and remain detached is impossible. Our lives in here are an open book to all. The gripping stories told daily, of
past conﬂicts, errors, poor choices and life’s roads, indeed even the war story like tales of men’s ventures as they
traveled down the wrong road after crossing the crossroads in their lives. It’s relived, retold and resold daily.
intellectually most don’t brag or glorify any wrongs or bad acts, most of the public would be utterly surprised by the
true nature and manner of Texas Death Row. The fact is it’s laid back and non confrontational most of the time. It is
different world than the general prison population. Not to say it’s easy, its NOT. What death row is, can be summed
up as a segregated, isolated, repressive, deprived environment that's devoid of any major human contact, interaction
or normally, the concrete cages were designed to break and mask will and spirit, compile that with the immeasurable
stress of immanent death, lack of activity, a will to be active or exercise. It’s discouraging to hear or watch a man
express his lack of will to live.
I often reﬂect on the experiences of the past years, especially when I’ve felt impatient abut another’s slowness to
response to a direction that seemed obvious to me. It’s been helpful to ask am I forging ahead in a way that leaves
other people behind. Or am I willing to support them as they take their steps forward? Indeed it’s the later, as was
shown me when I arrived here.
An amazing legacy, an unrenowned vision of our plight resides inside the walls of death row. It’s been said that the
best leaders are the best servants. A leader — or the spirit of leading serves in a fusion of educating others about the
vision valuing to contribute and put forth effort. I’m talking about what comes from - for instance, an older death row
prisoner who knows his final years arrived and watching the continuing cycle, as a new kid arrives, the exchange, the
student teacher relations begin, questions ﬂow and it becomes all to clear the vision, the new guy receives: in a way a
torch passed to him. The origin of every good idea, remains in the charge of the idea as it gradually unfolds, refolds
and matures in life, and you just ﬁght to survive, don’t give up, and put your best forward.
The issues are complex, the cases heinous, but every single one of them is human. It’s our nature to error, yet do we
all not pick up the pieces and correct our errors? Don't we all eventually learn from our mistakes? It’s amazing
witnessing the transformations that happen in here. It also pains me to see a new prisoner, what I once knew in a good
friend whose been executed, it’s a vicious cycle, I have to pause often, as I do, realize, see, witness, and know beyond
a shadow of doubt, that executing them is not the answer. Rehabilitating them can be a reality, its going on to this
day, behind these walls.
What I have learned from it all? That’s easy, what I’ve lived through, helped and contributed and endured, what we
all live, is the product and by product of humanity at its worst. The throwing away to Gods greatest gift to man,
mankind itself, the execution of a human life!
For the sake of the future, in the spirit of peace and forgiveness, understanding and closure could we not reach out to
understand instead of acting on the deep emotional division, hurt, anger and pain, you can maintain civility only of
your adversary as human, most portray death row as monsters.
By dehumanizing your adversary (the death row prisoner), through derogatory labels it makes it easier to hate, or kill,
and in the case execute, its destructive to the common good.
Violence begets violence, incivility begets incivility, when getting even (In justice?) or a legal argument, it may seem
justified, we must look at the bigger picture, look stop and ask ourselves, remind ourselves that we are called
to a better way of living, to a place of common humanity.
Lastly Id like to reference to the questionable practice of predicting the future dangerousness of a man, in order to
take his life. It’s just a legal psychological junk science, it's been disproved, by the studies in the ﬁeld of psychology,
by the Texas defenders office study “False Predictions of ﬁxture Danger”, and by peers in the test study and it’s been
in the courts since. I have read countless cases debunking it. It is just another form of legal dehumanizing our
criminal justice system uses, that our courts elected prosecutors use it to dehumanize these human beings. After the
last person to testify in a death penalty case is the psychologist who makes a bogus, unsupported claim.
This expert witness, a psychologist, uses a personality test used in prisons, mental hospitals, its outdated, imaginative
at best, very misleading at the very least and often, incorrect. Its roots and founders were each used in stereotypical
labeling, not only by race and ethnic stereotypes but geographical to. The MMPI test (which Texas uses) a test said to
gauge human nature, was originally developed for the mentally ill. It’s now administered to 15 million Americans a
year. In spite of the fact, that it features invasive questions about persons sea life bathroom habits and is full of
misleading questions with multiple choice questions that defy common sense. It’s not a test of reasoning with
factually correct and incorrect replies.
In a courtroom, its use is unquestionably sound. In the often questionable practice of predicting the future, also
referred to as a psalm reading, the use is a gross injustice and a front to our judicial system, with important outcome‘
let in the wake of the MMPI test. Often child custody cases, the sentencing of a criminal in our case, the sentence of
death, this is just one of the many inaccurate and dangerously disingenuous practices used to cleanse state approved
and dehumanization of the human life they will ask a jury I2 average people to condemn a person to die.
A lot get lost, misinterpreted, censored and white washed in translation of these complex controversial struggles,
some remain silent, while others respond. Our world is not exactly simplistic, suffice to say, given how complex our
world is. The quest is for survival, its basic instinct.
In our voyeuristic society, it appears people believe what they see, hear and as the movies and books sell, violence
pain, suffering and persecution sells. Guess the question is how long will we buy it, or into it. I reﬂect on these pro
death penalty justice groups silence during the Green execution as, well , you be the judge. You, the society.
Victim’s rights justice for? The victims family pleads he is spared, the DA appellate division said its all folks, in
quoting Roe Wilson “legally it doesn’t matter”.
I dissent, it did matter, it does matter, Mr. Green was a classic example of a young man reformed and he made a
difference in our plight and his case shows exactly what is wrong with the system.
Disappointed and disturbed
I urge you to read the book about mr . Green "A Saint on Death Row" .
2019 jan 13
2018 may 29
2018 feb 13
2017 feb 1
2016 feb 25
2015 nov 26