Oct. 31, 2013


by Donald R. Debose (author's profile)




It has been said to me, to be nonjudgmental is having the flexibility of the mind and the ability to let go of our attachment to what seems right to us. Sympathetic joy is nonjudgmental, it slices through our predilection to force the world to accord with our views. People may choose to live in ways quite different from our lives. They may do things differently from how we do them. They may find happiness in things that would not bring much happiness in things that would not bring much happiness to us personally. Some may choose to live more comfortably, while we may choose to live more simply. Some may have children, while we may choose not to. Let me ask those that's reading this blog... Can we allow the lives of others to be different from ours and feel happy for them? Also, can we rejoice for them as their happiness grows, in whatever way that is happening?

Of course, a certain element of discernment is important here as well. People may delude themselves into thinking they are doing something that will bring them happiness, when they are actually creating unhappiness for themselves or for others. Sympathetic joy does not mean that whenever someone proclaims their happiness, we are pleased. Sometimes we might perceive that they are actually miserable, or setting themselves up to be. But if people are genuinely happy in their choice of action or lifestyle, we do not need to impose our standards. If they are not harming themselves, if they are not harming others, can we be generous enough to feel joy for them?

To understand judgment and find the answer to these questions set me on the path of growth as a man/person. Also, it allowed me to deal with all of the demons that had a hold on me!


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