Transcription Resolution Do you know what I hate? People who aren’t dependable. I do feel my life would mean a lot more if I could depend on someone to help me walk through life but you know what? Life, no prison gave me the most perfect illuminated epiphany. “No one” will help you once you’re at the lowest point in your life. Family, so called friends, no one. Now let the record reflect I am not pissed or not even mildly upset anymore. Yet I give you impeccable and brutal truth that comes from courage born only of a beat, hopeless soul. Being in prison is agony of the worst kind but being here in seg. AKA “The Box” with only your thoughts to keep you sane, can, has and will continue to kill. I do find strength in one thing. In relief that if I want something anything at all, I will be the one to get it, I will know it will be meant for me to have. That goes for everything, a home, a family, friends, a job or whatever, so I am not motivated to give chase to certain things in life and I do this enthusiastically. Last thought if you don’t agree with my reasoning, go to prison for some calendars and let life fortify the truth right before your eyes. To those that do have it, count your blessings because god loves you. Feb 12 Written by Brandon Rucker
Eric, Your blog post really changed my opinion of prisons an inmates. It seems like you have used your time in prison to reflect on your life and become, by your definition, a "real man". I agree with you when you say that prison reform would involve both prisoners and non-prisoners, and I agree that reforming prison with the MBA project and psychological/rehabilitative research would significantly improve the effectiveness of a prison. You presented your opinion very eloquently in this blog, and you should further publicize the changes that should be made in prisons to the general population. If more people read what you had to say, I think their opinions would change. Keep writing! :)
I don't know if this is my old friend from Linda Cal., but this is Rik who used to live on Hile St. If you can talk to me on here, let me know when and where. I am not that good on the computer, so bear with me. If this is Bill, I hope you are doing as well as you can be in jail. I have thought about you many times over the years and wondered where you were. This is Rik and Tina, send me a message when you can and I will elaborate more of whats been going on since I saw you 20 years ago, wow! C U Rik
You talk about Sean's dad. Is that why there are pictures of the kids with him? I mean really if he did what you say he did then why did you let your kids be around him? Also, I seen the family video that was made when you guys were moving from Utah to Wisconsin. You said Sean abused you guys for 3 years yet in the video it shows you driving the Uhaul truck alone & Sean driving another vehicle with all the kids in it with him. You didn't seem to be to conserned for their safety then. Plus in the video everyone seemd happy & the children didn't show any fear of Sean. There are photo's of his 2 oldest boys that came to visit him while you guys were living in Wisconsin so that proves that their mom DID let them around Sean. Sean does have 3 oldre kids that live on the west coast. You were married to him you should know this. He has 2 older boys and an older daughter then 2 kids with you & the 2 step daughters. If Sean really did do all these things to you & the kids why did you wait so long to report it & why didn't you do something about it before you guys drove all the way from Utah to Wisconsin? Also, I spoke with Sean's lawyer & they told me the only reason he got convicted was because what the children said in court matched what was said in the home videos & that was the ONLY thing they had to convict him on. I am being serious. That is what I was told & I was also told that everyone on the jury stand hated you & him both. Him because of his past & you because of not doing more to protect your kids sooner. Sean has kids by 3 different women & you are the only one to ever report the things you accused him of. Also,there is proof (from what I was told) that you were writing to Sean & sending him pictures of the kids while he was in the county jail AFTER you had him arrested on all these charges. Then there is proof that this is not the first time you had him locked up. You had him arrested before in the past & then turned around & told the judge you lied just to get Sean out of the house or whatever. So when I hear all this stuff it makes me wonder if you really are being honest about the things you accuse Sean of. Then ofcourse there is the fact that you was arrested over child abuse yourself & your kids were sent to foster homes & this was after Sean was already locked up. Why in the world would you write to & send pictures of the kids to a man you call a monster?? None of this makes any sense. And I have seen women that get mad at their husbands, ex husbands, boyfriends, etc. and tell some big crazy lie and get them arrested & sent to jail with very little proof. For all the things you claim on Sean there should of been more proof than what there was.
LondonGirl - you're absolutely correct that spelling is not a pre-requisite to be accepted on death row. But when an inmate files pro bono court/legaldocuments, you'd think they would use a dictionary. And, yes, I do have lots of good things to do and often do them. My interest in this site is of a personal nature and it has been very helpful to me to comprehend the thoughts and feelings of *some* of the inmates convicted of the most heinous of acts. My opinions are mine. I own them. You are entitled to yours as well. Chastising me for the comments I posted to Mr. Clarke does not change my opinion. Have a great day!
SAH, don't you have anything better to do than make someone who already has very little feel even more rubbish about themselves? Accurate spelling was not a pre-requisite to be accepted onto death row last time I checked. He already ruined his own life, and he is paying for it now, he doesn't need you to tell him that.
Interesting posts Ronald, the way it is written adds / shows character, i'd much rather see how you've put it down yourself on paper. I can't even imagine how awful it must be in there.
Loving you is one of the best things i ever done .your a great man don't let your pass destroy your present leave behind all negative vibes don't let the public judge you for what you did in your pass or for who you are in your present .think of what freedom has to offer you make the right choices in life and you see t great things life has to offer you .dont change for nobody be who you are .if you want to better your self for you not for society that will make your life more easier.remember we all have a mind of our own you cant change the way people think about you.but you could change the way you think about your self.all i ask you please don't forget about our love .the promise you made me .
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Resolution
Do you know what I hate? People who aren’t dependable. I do feel my life would mean a lot more if I could depend on someone to help me walk through life but you know what? Life, no prison gave me the most perfect illuminated epiphany. “No one” will help you once you’re at the lowest point in your life. Family, so called friends, no one. Now let the record reflect I am not pissed or not even mildly upset anymore. Yet I give you impeccable and brutal truth that comes from courage born only of a beat, hopeless soul. Being in prison is agony of the worst kind but being here in seg. AKA “The Box” with only your thoughts to keep you sane, can, has and will continue to kill.
I do find strength in one thing. In relief that if I want something anything at all, I will be the one to get it, I will know it will be meant for me to have.
That goes for everything, a home, a family, friends, a job or whatever, so I am not motivated to give chase to certain things in life and I do this enthusiastically. Last thought if you don’t agree with my reasoning, go to prison for some calendars and let life fortify the truth right before your eyes. To those that do have it, count your blessings because god loves you.
Feb 12
Written by Brandon Rucker
Your blog post really changed my opinion of prisons an inmates. It seems like you have used your time in prison to reflect on your life and become, by your definition, a "real man". I agree with you when you say that prison reform would involve both prisoners and non-prisoners, and I agree that reforming prison with the MBA project and psychological/rehabilitative research would significantly improve the effectiveness of a prison. You presented your opinion very eloquently in this blog, and you should further publicize the changes that should be made in prisons to the general population. If more people read what you had to say, I think their opinions would change.
Keep writing! :)
I finished transcribing your post. Thanks much for writing.
Best,
Interesting posts Ronald, the way it is written adds / shows character, i'd much rather see how you've put it down yourself on paper. I can't even imagine how awful it must be in there.