I hold a different perspective on forgiveness. I don't think it is something that 'can' be asked for, but something that must be given willingly in that person's own time.
Having said that... I also don't think it is a gift to the recipient of that forgiveness, but a gift only to the person who forgives. Holding onto feelings of hatred and anger have power over us and to forgive someone is to let go of that negativity and the control it can have over us.
I'm not sure it's forgiveness that anyone sitting in a prison cell really needs; unless we're talking about forgiving themselves. None of us live in a vacuum. All of our actions or reactions are a result of other experiences in our lives and we don't always make the right choices with the tools we're given to maneuver in this world. None of us are perfect and at some point, we hopefully make the right decisions to do all we can to live the best life we can live.
If we concentrated more on taking care of one another, asking "what can I do to help you today" rather than trying to even the score - there would be no need for 'forgiveness' at all.
On another note; from the few of your blogs I've read, you do seem to be handling your sentence with a great deal of grace & self reflection, which is inspiring. Finding a place of peace within that environment shows incredible inner strength & that's something I truly admire. Each and every one of us only really has today. And yes... what IS up with single ply toilet paper!? :D
That was a beautiful piece of writing. There is so much negativity to be found in many of the blogs on this site, but of course, that is the nature of the environment you're writing from and that is understandable, but to read your thoughts here, it was difficult to not be projected to that beautiful place of calm and peace that you speak of. I'm so glad you have found that for yourself!
In February 2011, a category 5 cyclone hit here where I live on the east coast of Australia. There is no category 6. This storm was the same size as Hurricane Katrina. I found it quite entertaining as we prepared, how fuel stations had cars lining up out onto the road and the supermarket shelves were cleared in record time as people took more than they needed, when on my meager budget I was only able to afford the usual necessities for my 3 children and I, yet that was enough. The only directions we were given was to 'stay in our homes until the winds had passed' so I gathered my 3 children and we all slept together in my bedroom away from windows, with candles lit, huddled together, hot from the summer temperatures of the northern tropics and togetherness was all we required. Thankfully we didn't have the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina as our homes have been built to cyclone standards for some decades now and as we are a garrison city, the Army worked around the clock to clean up the debris on our roads and within 3 days our electricity supply was back up and running. It wasn't the end of the world and our 3 day 'camping trip at home' was over.
This experience reiterated exactly what you have said here. That when it comes down to it, all we need is our inner strength and our loved ones around us. It was also awesome to see our communities pulling together and helping each other out in the aftermath.
Thank you for the reminder today to slow down, & smell the roses. The end of the world stories continue to entertain me, I think you'll find us still here, even after the end of the Myan calendar in December later in the year - but keep checking in on us just in case ;)
Hey Babe .. FIRST off I have written you FOUR letters so far and have been waiting for replies to them.. and i talked to sister the other day and she told me her letters wer'nt getting thru to you either so whats up.. whats going on?? i'm getting ready to write you a letter before i go to sleep tonight and i will put it in mail first thing in the morning before i go to work.. and as far as everything goes. YES i still care for you.. YES i still want to write and talk to you.. YES i have booted the ass to the curb (back to his mommies) and me and the kids are doing well .. also i have moved back into town into a cheaper much bigger house two doors down from huts house. My new address is 213 south college st .. Franklin KY 42134 so send all letters from now on to this address. Secondly .. its been a hard weekend for me .. I had to read about MOM going into the hospital on Facebook cause thomi couldn't call me. and then when i called her to find out how she was doing and what all was going on she told me she was awaiting the call from the hospital because they didn't know if she would make it thru the night. and then when i called the nest morning she had already passed. ( I loved and still love your mom) :(( and thomi said she was waiting on a call from you cause they were supposed to let you call. ok thirdly i could barely read your last hijinks in which you were talking to me and wanted to know something from me or wanted me to say something.. could you send me that comic so i can fully read it .. i would also like the bubble pop cartoon .. i like it .. ok so im off to start writting you and ill get it in mail in the am. and from now own we will keep up with writting ok .. and yes I LOVE YOU TO .
Interesting take on this topic. I enjoyed reading this one and looking over a few others (albeit some of the handwriting was a little difficult to read but thats ok). To answer your questions: No Im not a virgin nor in love nor do I believe love is hard. It is work, patience, commitment, happiness, and everything else that comes with it. But if at anytime love becomes hard, it probably isnt love anymore.
This is the third or fourth time I have regretted purchasing the audiobook version of The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. She devotes a healthy amount of time to the subject. I should tread carefully here because I am unable to cite examples, and as you pointed out there are many nuances.
What I can say without the book is, yes, it exists and for nearly any crime. In about a third of the States it's required. If I'm understanding it correctly, restitution is payable for things you'd typically find in damages (to victims, families, and third parties for medical, loss of wages, funeral, etc.). However, it is not "punishment" in the way that legal damages are although in some cases you can "trade" for more time served. This looks like a credible overview and there is a state by state breakdown on the side: http://www.aardvarc.org/victim/restitution.shtml
I should remove the word "liquidated". Although I know the book spoke about liquidation, I cannot recall the specific context (drug profit, willfully selling of property due to loss of income, restitution, etc.). Similarly, I hadn't considered time of payment; paid immediately, automatically garnished wages during, or post incarceration. So I should also stay away from claiming that it is possible one already paid them.
It seems like SAH might be familiar with them so perhaps she can elaborate, too.
RSS
Having said that... I also don't think it is a gift to the recipient of that forgiveness, but a gift only to the person who forgives. Holding onto feelings of hatred and anger have power over us and to forgive someone is to let go of that negativity and the control it can have over us.
I'm not sure it's forgiveness that anyone sitting in a prison cell really needs; unless we're talking about forgiving themselves. None of us live in a vacuum. All of our actions or reactions are a result of other experiences in our lives and we don't always make the right choices with the tools we're given to maneuver in this world. None of us are perfect and at some point, we hopefully make the right decisions to do all we can to live the best life we can live.
If we concentrated more on taking care of one another, asking "what can I do to help you today" rather than trying to even the score - there would be no need for 'forgiveness' at all.
On another note; from the few of your blogs I've read, you do seem to be handling your sentence with a great deal of grace & self reflection, which is inspiring. Finding a place of peace within that environment shows incredible inner strength & that's something I truly admire. Each and every one of us only really has today. And yes... what IS up with single ply toilet paper!? :D
Nicki
In February 2011, a category 5 cyclone hit here where I live on the east coast of Australia. There is no category 6. This storm was the same size as Hurricane Katrina. I found it quite entertaining as we prepared, how fuel stations had cars lining up out onto the road and the supermarket shelves were cleared in record time as people took more than they needed, when on my meager budget I was only able to afford the usual necessities for my 3 children and I, yet that was enough. The only directions we were given was to 'stay in our homes until the winds had passed' so I gathered my 3 children and we all slept together in my bedroom away from windows, with candles lit, huddled together, hot from the summer temperatures of the northern tropics and togetherness was all we required. Thankfully we didn't have the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina as our homes have been built to cyclone standards for some decades now and as we are a garrison city, the Army worked around the clock to clean up the debris on our roads and within 3 days our electricity supply was back up and running. It wasn't the end of the world and our 3 day 'camping trip at home' was over.
This experience reiterated exactly what you have said here. That when it comes down to it, all we need is our inner strength and our loved ones around us. It was also awesome to see our communities pulling together and helping each other out in the aftermath.
Thank you for the reminder today to slow down, & smell the roses. The end of the world stories continue to entertain me, I think you'll find us still here, even after the end of the Myan calendar in December later in the year - but keep checking in on us just in case ;)
Thank you for your beautiful words!
Nicki
ok thirdly i could barely read your last hijinks in which you were talking to me and wanted to know something from me or wanted me to say something.. could you send me that comic so i can fully read it .. i would also like the bubble pop cartoon .. i like it .. ok so im off to start writting you and ill get it in mail in the am. and from now own we will keep up with writting ok .. and yes I LOVE YOU TO .
You make a good case for the fact that mistakes have value, but it needs to be harvested, or they will be repeated.
Thank you for sharing this experience and the truth you gained from going through it!
Blessings,
Russ, Sr.
-Tim
What I can say without the book is, yes, it exists and for nearly any crime. In about a third of the States it's required. If I'm understanding it correctly, restitution is payable for things you'd typically find in damages (to victims, families, and third parties for medical, loss of wages, funeral, etc.). However, it is not "punishment" in the way that legal damages are although in some cases you can "trade" for more time served. This looks like a credible overview and there is a state by state breakdown on the side: http://www.aardvarc.org/victim/restitution.shtml
I should remove the word "liquidated". Although I know the book spoke about liquidation, I cannot recall the specific context (drug profit, willfully selling of property due to loss of income, restitution, etc.). Similarly, I hadn't considered time of payment; paid immediately, automatically garnished wages during, or post incarceration. So I should also stay away from claiming that it is possible one already paid them.
It seems like SAH might be familiar with them so perhaps she can elaborate, too.