I never knew you smoked drugs?When you know the consequences!...You used to type writing a lot and kept so busy, so why doing it?Isn't doing yoga not a lot lot better, Kelly? Relationships,it might be difficult in a prison,I presume? But in there are people you can depend on, I guess? I hope you find such a friend.You must be out of the hole by now? Was it a month? How crazy this is!It is late here. We had a fierce wind lately! and it's starting all over again! :(We are not used to have them! Lately I started a new course:in 4 sessions. One more Friday follows.Diary scetches.Drawing. We did some blind drawing.I'll explain:you draw the face from another person,but not looking at the paper,only to the face of that person.One has a type of Picasso's drawing.Goele,our young teacher showed a lot of original and interesting ways of making art!Now she tells us to find sentences you hear,or pictures or words that kept your attention,so,I'm curious what she plans to do with them? We wrote with our left hand,we wrote upside down,we wrote from the end of a word forwards,etc We had to find a text out of a magazine and only keeping the words beginning with the same particular letter,we chose.Making an odd poem in that way.Then also out of a text keeping the words you liked,and swiping the others.Words that touch you.In groups of 3 people,you read your words,and the 2 other people make drawings, blindly on paper.Intuitively,and you change turns reading and drawing.Then you get the drawings from your own story from both people.You put them with colored pens on a plastic sheet.You cut out the different shapes out of the plastic sheet.We then all(many participants)placed them later on several white sheets of paper.Then we placed the shapes on one page seeing the same colors.For example: all the greens together,etc.The bigger shapes together,the smaller ones,etc Connecting the lines,...We painted once on a large paper put over a broad table.Working with 2 people at the other side and exchanging places.A duo work. Then we all tore the paper in pieces.Making art with designs and paper pieces together.We had beautiful results! I will travel to America pretty soon.Visiting Leslie and her family and than George next.He isn't free,he came one vote short!:(( He has a new chance in October or November.Let us hope he finally is a free man!Kelly,I will write a letter with some other news.Keep safe,don't use drugs.You know better! A warm hug from Rita,who cares.:))
Hi Doug, thanks for writing and I really enjoyed hearing about your day! I finished the transcription for your post. I hope dayroom privilege is rolled out to your hall soon too and that action is taken about the make-up yard time grievance you filed! I am British so have little understanding of the US justice system but it doesn't seem right for people not to be able to go outside or get fresh air if they have medical, legal or religious reasons that prevent them from going at that time. Keep fighting for what you believe in. Hope you have a great day.
Thanks for writing. I really enjoyed reading your writing - it was very powerful and truly made me think about the conditions and daily struggles of being a prisoner. I finished the transcription for your post and I hope other people read it and take something away from the experience.
Antoine Can you post up your full doc number and the address of your facility. I’ve tried looking on internet but can’t locate you? Are you in Wisconsin somewhere? Thanks T
Sweetheart :) Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day - I haven’t mailed anything and I don’t think my other note went out (I can’t find it here to see if it’s been sent - lol). I’m feeling better, mostly - just very weak. I seldom say this, but I feel old! I’ll be glad when this is all past and I can get back to normal In my other note I said I thought I’d write a card or note this week, but it doesn’t appear that’s going to happen. Everyone at Amber’s has this now, so it’s me running to the store, etc. one trip into town wears me out - have to lie down for the rest of the day! I’m improving though - better than this time last week! I love it when you remind me of the old times - the World theater and things like that - it reminds me of how long we’ve loved one another. Too bad we were so stupid all those years ago - it would be so different now. That’s what I do - I start to remember and then I twist it in my head to what we could have had...what, in our minds, we DO have - and I live there quite happily for awhile...until reality intrudes. :) Good night my love...I really will try to get something in the mail soon....know that I love you with all of my heart...and that I am forever Your Jeannie
2/13/20: Wow, I'm reading through a bunch of your posts and I just want to thank you for putting all of this out there. This is D--- from the study group. I'll say, around counseling, while I think it is beneficial, necessary even for humans to have someone to talk to, counseling (or therapy) can seem benignly positive but have some really deep-seated issues around controlling others behaviors and thought processes. And working in an environment like a prison will rub off on you - you have to be vigilant to keep yourself from adopting that mentality, even if you think you never would. Like, I am a counselor in a residential mental health program that is voluntary. It is a very different experience than being locked up and overall I think it is a good thing this kind of program exists. But, just cuz it's voluntary doesn't mean people aren't coerced into being there - most residents are otherwise homeless, and they rely on "doing well" in our program in order to move on to other residential treatment & eventually, hopefully, long-term housing. Much like in prison, doing "well" in interactions with counselors and in groups is a way to increase your chances of eventual freedom or stability. Often clients learn to recite exactly what staff wants to hear ("I'm working really hard to maintain sobriety," "I'm developing coping skills so I don't engage in self-destructive behaviors in the future") and it becomes hard to tell to what degree someone believes this for themselves or is just going through the motions for the sake of their own future. And at the same time, some of those resources & conversations are actually beneficial (tho they never systemic oppression that create our trauma in the first place). But the inherent power dynamic, when someone has all this control over someone's fundamental life circumstances, taints the whole relationship. It requires a very critical engagement on the part of the "professional" to not enforce one's beliefs or goals, or those of the institution for which one works, onto those you're working with. And on the part of the "counseled" party, it can be very hard to disentangle what you actually want & believe from what you are being told by someone in a position of authority who positions themself (and probably believes themself to be) working in your own best interest. I've been on the patient side, and am now on the other, and...it's weird. I can say that most people I work with do not think about this critically at all, and the problem gets worse the more degrees & power someone has...sorry your psych is an asshole who diminishes the very real trauma you and other prisoners experience - & also, it doesn't surprise me in the least. Their job is individualizing these problems and encouraging people to adjust to fucked up circumstances rather than removing the fucked up circumstances from the hellscape world we live in. (and yet, many of us need them, to get us through the day-to-day.) So much to think about here, thx
RSS
I never knew you smoked drugs?When you know the consequences!...You used to type writing a lot and kept so busy, so why doing it?Isn't doing yoga not a lot lot better, Kelly? Relationships,it might be difficult in a prison,I presume? But in there are people you can depend on, I guess? I hope you find such a friend.You must be out of the hole by now? Was it a month? How crazy this is!It is late here. We had a fierce wind lately! and it's starting all over again! :(We are not used to have them!
Lately I started a new course:in 4 sessions. One more Friday follows.Diary scetches.Drawing. We did some blind drawing.I'll explain:you draw the face from another person,but not looking at the paper,only to the face of that person.One has a type of Picasso's drawing.Goele,our young teacher showed a lot of original and interesting ways of making art!Now she tells us to find sentences you hear,or pictures or words that kept your attention,so,I'm curious what she plans to do with them? We wrote with our left hand,we wrote upside down,we wrote from the end of a word forwards,etc We had to find a text out of a magazine and only keeping the words beginning with the same particular letter,we chose.Making an odd poem in that way.Then also out of a text keeping the words you liked,and swiping the others.Words that touch you.In groups of 3 people,you read your words,and the 2 other people make drawings, blindly on paper.Intuitively,and you change turns reading and drawing.Then you get the drawings from your own story from both people.You put them with colored pens on a plastic sheet.You cut out the different shapes out of the plastic sheet.We then all(many participants)placed them later on several white sheets of paper.Then we placed the shapes on one page seeing the same colors.For example: all the greens together,etc.The bigger shapes together,the smaller ones,etc Connecting the lines,...We painted once on a large paper put over a broad table.Working with 2 people at the other side and exchanging places.A duo work. Then we all tore the paper in pieces.Making art with designs and paper pieces together.We had beautiful results! I will travel to America pretty soon.Visiting Leslie and her family and than George next.He isn't free,he came one vote short!:(( He has a new chance in October or November.Let us hope he finally is a free man!Kelly,I will write a letter with some other news.Keep safe,don't use drugs.You know better! A warm hug from Rita,who cares.:))
Can you post up your full doc number and the address of your facility. I’ve tried looking on internet but can’t locate you? Are you in Wisconsin somewhere?
Thanks
T
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day - I haven’t mailed anything and I don’t think my other note went out (I can’t find it here to see if it’s been sent - lol). I’m feeling better, mostly - just very weak. I seldom say this, but I feel old! I’ll be glad when this is all past and I can get back to normal
In my other note I said I thought I’d write a card or note this week, but it doesn’t appear that’s going to happen. Everyone at Amber’s has this now, so it’s me running to the store, etc. one trip into town wears me out - have to lie down for the rest of the day! I’m improving though - better than this time last week!
I love it when you remind me of the old times - the World theater and things like that - it reminds me of how long we’ve loved one another. Too bad we were so stupid all those years ago - it would be so different now.
That’s what I do - I start to remember and then I twist it in my head to what we could have had...what, in our minds, we DO have - and I live there quite happily for awhile...until reality intrudes. :)
Good night my love...I really will try to get something in the mail soon....know that I love you with all of my heart...and that I am forever
Your
Jeannie