I am your wife and always will be we traveled a rough road apart but somehow have managed to forgive forget and find our way back together through the darkness. I enjoyed our time together recently and I am looking forward to many more until you are home again. See you soon my love.
I love you and we are all very proud of how far you’ve come and support you.
hey unk, i got your letter and your blog post. i stopped working. idk ive been depressed alot. i cant figure out how i got so fucked up these past 4 years. i wish my poppa was here.sometimes i feel like ill never accomplish anything without him here. i feel like my whole life is just a waste.how do i let the pain go? loosing the only person that never hurt me and i ever loved has just fucked me up completely. how do i move on past it..all i keep thinking about is when he died... i dont understand why it couldnt have been me instead of him.my whole family barely talks to me . i feel so alone . i feel like i am always running from everything. people friends jobs everything. i cant even keep a job i feel like im mentally crazy and every day im just drifting more away from the world. i feel like everyone would be better off with out my miserable ass being around unhappy . I dont like feeling this way... i want a change... but no matter were i go it just follows me. the pain the loss and the hurt . i dont know how to get these thoughts out of my head either. i feel like ill never be happy again. i want a change. i realize at some point in my life i need a break and ill get one..... but when is the question i always ask my self..i cant go on like this for another decade. your niece love always. can you drawl your other niece a card she wanted one althena is her name.
Would you like to share your blog on other blogging platforms? I can help you to get your voice/words beyond this platform. That's what I do. And I work with a group of writers here to help there publishing and social media projects. Would you like me to send you a copy the Zine series they produce? And if you're interested in contributing to the next issue we're looking for more writers such as yourself
I'll get back to you soon after you respond and in the meantime keep wrighting and take care of yourself.
So what about the fact that you “Betrayed” My Mother and left behind a SON and a DAUGHTER??? Why or how your mad about the fact that you got your Karma is beyond me. I’m glad she had two more kids with ANOTHER MAN! Because your weren’t a man to me and Courtney??? Get off your crybaby bs. You were never a man so, Alicia found herself another one!! You abandoned Misty, Courtney and I. You should have no say when it comes to you getting what you gave. I never grew up with a real father! I wish grandpa Rolland was around still, he passed when I was 6 I know you miss him and you couldn’t come to his funeral because I was there and you of course WEREN’T... I’m grateful he was there! But as selfish as it sounds I’m glad your locked up. I hate how you are playing the innocent role. So what about my Mom or My Sister?? You suck. So please stop crying over yourself because DRUGS were way MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN YOUR FIRST FAMILY!!! Left us then started another Family and she turned around and did the same thing you had done to Misty, Court and I....
Yes the SHU program is the most crazy stuff in the CDC. I know it will or could drive you insane. I am just going to say this... people are in the SHU at PB for a reason you have (for whatever reason) programmed out of all the CDC main line programs and are now programmed/classified SHU PB. You are not in Ad Seg you are above that...the SHU program you are like a level 6 inmate, the worst of the worst....I don't say that... the CDC says that your the worst... and you must be permanent SEG. You worked hard to get to that level and you are the bad ass of bad asses so enjoy all the respect you have from the CDC.
I hope all is well, Herd. Life has been one hell of a roller coaster the last 8 months but the last couple weeks I hit the lowest I have ever been and tonight I ran into the devil that destroyed me, and he reminded me that I was still an ugly, fat, piece of shit, and I believed him, on my way home I lost it, and i planned how i was going to do it, I got home left a note for my father and told my dogs I loved them but it was for the best, I took my pistol and Ieft, I drove to the woods and got out i sat on the ground holding my gun and told myself that this is what I needed to do, all I could hear was his voice telling me I will never be good enough for anyone, no one will ever love me, I had no reason to be alive... it was time, I put the gun to my head, took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. And nothing happend. For some crazy reason my gun malfunctioned and it saved my life. I have never been so scared in my life, what was I doing, how could I let him get in my head like that, I am stronger than that. I sat there shaking scared and alone, no one to go to. And you wanna know where I went Herd? I went to your blog, and it was everything I needed to hear at that time. I wish that I could see you, and see that smile. I miss you. I just need you to keep writing. I need you to tell me you are ok and that everything will be ok in the end. I hope to see something soon. xo you know who
RSS
I am your wife and always will be we traveled a rough road apart but somehow have managed to forgive forget and find our way back together through the darkness. I enjoyed our time together recently and I am looking forward to many more until you are home again. See you soon my love.
I love you and we are all very proud of how far you’ve come and support you.
Love
Your family
I'll get back to you soon after you respond and in the meantime keep wrighting and take care of yourself.
Sincerely, Chris😁❤😁
I am just going to say this... people are in the SHU at PB for a reason you have (for whatever reason) programmed out of all the CDC main line programs and are now programmed/classified SHU PB.
You are not in Ad Seg you are above that...the SHU program you are like a level 6 inmate, the worst of the worst....I don't say that... the CDC says that your the worst... and you must be permanent SEG.
You worked hard to get to that level and you are the bad ass of bad asses so enjoy all the respect you have from the CDC.