I do dream on occasion. My most recent was really weird in fact. My childhood best friend was in it. She passed away several years ago in a car accident. Perhaps it was her way of visiting me? It does seem like whenever I do dream, usually someone that has already passed is part of it. I even have nightmares on occasion. I don’t like to remember those! Thankfully I don’t have too many of those. I think it’s good you can dream and step out of your reality. Solitary confinement has to be awful. I watch a lot of prison shows. Can’t be sure how true to life they are as I’ve never been in prison. I do have friends in prison though. I’ve heard that over 15 days is considered torture...maybe not here in America though. They say it’s supposed to help, however so much time usually causes a lot of anxiety...would you agree?
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.
A significant struggle that I overcame in the past was finding my identity after my first breakup. Even though I thought at the time that I wanted to marry this person and that they are truly wonderful at heart, we couldn't communicate on the same level and we drifted apart. I got dumped soon after a one-sided "conversation".
I went through many days and nights just hurting and crying after the breakup. The self-blaming, the "if only" wistfulness that followed. What could have, I should haves, the emotional bargaining. Full non-stop grieving. It was tough.
Many months and sessions of self-care later, I gained the hindsight of knowing that the relationship had to end. It was bad for BOTH of us. Relationships can only work if both parties are willing to keep it, which sadly was not the case.
And yes, I did contribute to its failure. But being down on myself like it's ALL my fault wasn't the whole truth of the matter either. Really, accepting my accountability for what it truly was (and not the exaggerated narrative I conjured) did wonders.
What nudged me towards acceptance is knowing that loss was not unique to me either. There's a whole world out there that goes through the same thing every day too. Taking a step back after the grieving helped me towards self-respect and then true forgiveness.
Failure in this relationship helped me realize what values and boundaries I will honor, including the things that are above my own personal and emotional needs. And I now know I was fortunate to have experienced the love that was there rather than not at all.
My life wasn't ruined by the breakup, it got better. Because I was able to find empathy and learn a compassion that I didn't have before. Treasured lessons that I continue to cherish to this day.
Hello cowboy! I really appreciate your thoughts and sharing them. Your mention of the two step in this post makes me think of the Git Up challenge videos that are spreading like crazy. It’s a country dance song. The videos can be really cute. It’s hard enough for me to think of death at times...I can’t imagine actually facing it or knowing it’s going to happen at anytime. Yes, we all die but I know being on row is a whole different experience. I’m glad you shared your blog site with me.
I Miss You. You have always been beautiful when expressing your words... I really miss getting the wisdom of the world through your eyes... Love Always, Serena (The Queen)
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I do dream on occasion. My most recent was really weird in fact. My childhood best friend was in it. She passed away several years ago in a car accident. Perhaps it was her way of visiting me? It does seem like whenever I do dream, usually someone that has already passed is part of it. I even have nightmares on occasion. I don’t like to remember those! Thankfully I don’t have too many of those. I think it’s good you can dream and step out of your reality. Solitary confinement has to be awful. I watch a lot of prison shows. Can’t be sure how true to life they are as I’ve never been in prison. I do have friends in prison though. I’ve heard that over 15 days is considered torture...maybe not here in America though. They say it’s supposed to help, however so much time usually causes a lot of anxiety...would you agree?
My name is Dorothy and I’m from MI.
today, 9/12, my letter of 8/1 to you came back to me. I will send it again.
Hope you are in good spirits,
Julia
Or more than 1 thing or 1 person.
A significant struggle that I overcame in the past was finding my identity after my first breakup. Even though I thought at the time that I wanted to marry this person and that they are truly wonderful at heart, we couldn't communicate on the same level and we drifted apart. I got dumped soon after a one-sided "conversation".
I went through many days and nights just hurting and crying after the breakup. The self-blaming, the "if only" wistfulness that followed. What could have, I should haves, the emotional bargaining. Full non-stop grieving. It was tough.
Many months and sessions of self-care later, I gained the hindsight of knowing that the relationship had to end. It was bad for BOTH of us. Relationships can only work if both parties are willing to keep it, which sadly was not the case.
And yes, I did contribute to its failure. But being down on myself like it's ALL my fault wasn't the whole truth of the matter either. Really, accepting my accountability for what it truly was (and not the exaggerated narrative I conjured) did wonders.
What nudged me towards acceptance is knowing that loss was not unique to me either. There's a whole world out there that goes through the same thing every day too. Taking a step back after the grieving helped me towards self-respect and then true forgiveness.
Failure in this relationship helped me realize what values and boundaries I will honor, including the things that are above my own personal and emotional needs. And I now know I was fortunate to have experienced the love that was there rather than not at all.
My life wasn't ruined by the breakup, it got better. Because I was able to find empathy and learn a compassion that I didn't have before. Treasured lessons that I continue to cherish to this day.
Dorothy from MI
Love Always,
Serena (The Queen)