Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.
This is the first thing of this kind I've done. It was really touching and moving for me. I'm one who for quite sometime has given up on myself. To hear your words to your daughter, over and over, about not giving up on yourself was uplifting.
I wish you the best and your daughter. It sounds immeasurably hard and I just hope you do the best that you can. My thoughts are with her and I hope she finds her way.
I transcribed your letter in all caps, as it was written and left any imperfections in.
It's a powerful thing, reading these, writing them out and I thank you for doing it.
Pol Pot killed 1.7 million people. We can't even deal with that! You know, we think if somebody kills someone, that's murder, you go to prison. You kill 10 people, you go to Texas, they hit you with a brick, that's what they do. 20 people, you go to a hospital, they look through a small window at you forever. And over that, we can't deal with it, you know? Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning. I can't even get down the gym! Your diary must look odd: “Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death – lunch- death, death, death -afternoon tea - death, death, death - quick shower…"
So I suppose we're glad that Pol Pot's under house arrest… you know, 1.7 million people. At least he - we know where he is - under house arrest! Just don't go in that fucking house, you know? I know a lot of people who'd love to be under house arrest! They bring you your food… "Just stay here? Oh, all right. (singing laconically ) Have you got any videos?" You know, you just sit there all day... And Pol Pot was a history teacher. And Hitler was a vegetarian painter. So... mass-murderers come from the areas you least expect it. I don't know how the flip comes over, but it happens.
So, yeah. There was a lot of that, and we built up empires - we stole countries! That's what you do,that's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in.
"I claim India for Britain!"
They go, "You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us!"
"Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards!"
"No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up, and I'm backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association."
That was it, you know? And Queen Victoria became Empress of India. She never even fucking went there, you know? She was one of our more frumpy queens… they're all frumpy, aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousins marry! Bottom of the gene pool, you know. You'rejust scraping the barrel there, “We've haven't got enough for any more of you royals there, sorry.” First rule of genetics: spread the genes apart! But the royals are just obsessed with, "Are you a royal family? Are you a royal member? Well, then you can marry me ‘cause you're same gene pool, and our IQs will go down the toilet.” Fantastic! That's why there's no crazy royals, they're all kind of, "Hello! Hello, what do you do? You're a plumber! What on Earth is that?"
"Hi! I'm Crazy Eddie! I put babies on spikes. Do you want a rack of babies? We've got babies on racks! Mmm, they taste of chicken!" They do! Babies taste of chicken! Cannibals say that human flesh tastes of chicken, so babies must taste of chicken. And chicken tastes of humans. ( nervous laughter from audience ) Good, I'm glad you're coming with me on that.
Yes, so this is all true. And so, yes. Soin Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
And the German empire, very organized, they’d always build an empire, “ein, zwei, ein, zwei, “build an empire, very Prussian, and then they'd celebrate with a World War! And then lose the whole fucking empire by the end of the war. In the 30s, Hitler, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, World War II... the Russian front, not a good idea...! Hitler never played “Risk” when he was a kid...! ‘Cause, you know, playing “Risk,” you could never hold on to Asia. That Asian-Eastern European area, you could never hold it, could you? Seven extra men at the beginning of every go, but you couldn't fucking hold it! Australasia, that was the one! Australasia, all the purple ones! Get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up...
And Hitler ended up in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire, so, that's fun! I think that's funny, ‘cause he was a mass-murdering fuckhead. And that was his honeymoon as well! Double trouble!
"Eva, let's marry."
"Where should our honeymoon be?"
"Well, in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire. I've already arranged it upstairs."
"Oh, how romantic, Adolf."
"Yes, I thought!" Fun! What a bastard! And he was a vegetarian, and a painter, so he must have been going, "I can't get the fucking trees… Damn! I will kill everyone in the world!"
And he was a mass-murdering fuckhead, as many important historians have said. But there were other mass murderers that got away with it! Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, well done there; Pol Pot killed 1.7 million Cambodians, died under house arrest at age 72, well done indeed! And the reason we let them get away with it is because they killed their own people, and we're sort of fine with that. “Ah, help yourself,” you know? “We've been trying to kill you for ages!” So kill your own people, right on there. Seems to be… Hitler killed people next door... “Oh… stupid man!” After a couple of years, we won't stand for that, will we?
Ciao Robert, thanks for your reply, I hope this note finds you well. How I come up with all this numbers? Well you know, a combination of the world wide web and google. Instead of answering your questions, I am sending you some stand-up by Eddie Izzard, from his show "dress to kill". "Yes, and I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Oh, yeah. You tear your history down, man! “30 years old, let's smash it to the floor and put a car park here!" I have seen it in stories. I sawsomething in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then!"
Well, we got tons of history lying about the place, big old castles, and they just get in the way. We're driving-- "Oh, a fucking castle! Have to drive around it..." Disney came over and built Euro Disney, and they built the Disney castle there, and it was, "You better make it a bit bigger, they've actually got them here... And they're not made of plastic!" We got tons of them, ‘cause you think we all live in castles, and we do all live in castles! We all got a castle each. We're up to here with fucking castles! We just long for a bungalow or something.
And I grew up in the 70s, when the careers advisor used to come to school, and he used to get the kids together and say, "Look, I advise you to get a career, what can I say? That's it." And he took me aside, he said, "Whatcha you want to do, kid? Whatcha you want to do? Tell me, tell me your dreams!" "I want to be a space astronaut! Go to outer space, discover things that have never been discovered." He said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit, all right?" "All right, I want to work in a shoe shop then! Discover shoes that no one's ever discovered right in the back of the shop, on the left." And he said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit, all right?" "All right, I want to work in a sewer then! Discover sewage that no one's ever discovered, and pile it on my head, then come to the surface and sell myself to an art gallery." He said, "What the fuck have you been smoking, eh? Certainly you haven't been smoking in a bar in California, that's for certain!" ‘Cause you can't! No, no smoking in bars now, and soon, no drinking and no talking! Be careful, California! You're supposed to be the crazy state, the out there, the wild ones, you know? In the future, everyone's going to say, "Come down to the library, we'll have a wild time, shall we? “ ( mimes dragging on a joint ) “Don't know where that fucking book is, mate, it could be anywhere! There's a lot of 'em about!"
Yeah,so, yes, so that was it. There was a spirit of ex-empire, this thing of “things can't be done," whereas in America, I thought there was a spirit of "can be done!" The pioneer thing.
RSS
This is the first thing of this kind I've done. It was really touching and moving for me. I'm one who for quite sometime has given up on myself. To hear your words to your daughter, over and over, about not giving up on yourself was uplifting.
I wish you the best and your daughter. It sounds immeasurably hard and I just hope you do the best that you can. My thoughts are with her and I hope she finds her way.
I transcribed your letter in all caps, as it was written and left any imperfections in.
It's a powerful thing, reading these, writing them out and I thank you for doing it.
Best,
Will
So I suppose we're glad that Pol Pot's under house arrest… you know, 1.7 million people. At least he - we know where he is - under house arrest! Just don't go in that fucking house, you know? I know a lot of people who'd love to be under house arrest! They bring you your food… "Just stay here? Oh, all right. (singing laconically ) Have you got any videos?" You know, you just sit there all day... And Pol Pot was a history teacher. And Hitler was a vegetarian painter. So... mass-murderers come from the areas you least expect it. I don't know how the flip comes over, but it happens.
So, yeah. There was a lot of that, and we built up empires - we stole countries! That's what you do,that's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in.
"I claim India for Britain!"
They go, "You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us!"
"Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards!"
"No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up, and I'm backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association."
That was it, you know? And Queen Victoria became Empress of India. She never even fucking went there, you know?
She was one of our more frumpy queens… they're all frumpy, aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousins marry! Bottom of the gene pool, you know. You'rejust scraping the barrel there, “We've haven't got enough for any more of you royals there, sorry.” First rule of genetics: spread the genes apart! But the royals are just obsessed with, "Are you a royal family? Are you a royal member? Well, then you can marry me ‘cause you're same gene pool, and our IQs will go down the toilet.” Fantastic! That's why there's no crazy royals, they're all kind of, "Hello! Hello, what do you do? You're a plumber! What on Earth is that?"
Take Care, Julia
Yes, so this is all true. And so, yes. Soin Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
And the German empire, very organized, they’d always build an empire, “ein, zwei, ein, zwei, “build an empire, very Prussian, and then they'd celebrate with a World War! And then lose the whole fucking empire by the end of the war. In the 30s, Hitler, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, World War II... the Russian front, not a good idea...! Hitler never played “Risk” when he was a kid...! ‘Cause, you know, playing “Risk,” you could never hold on to Asia. That Asian-Eastern European area, you could never hold it, could you? Seven extra men at the beginning of every go, but you couldn't fucking hold it! Australasia, that was the one! Australasia, all the purple ones! Get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up...
And Hitler ended up in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire, so, that's fun! I think that's funny, ‘cause he was a mass-murdering fuckhead. And that was his honeymoon as well! Double trouble!
"Eva, let's marry."
"Where should our honeymoon be?"
"Well, in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire. I've already arranged it upstairs."
"Oh, how romantic, Adolf."
"Yes, I thought!" Fun! What a bastard! And he was a vegetarian, and a painter, so he must have been going, "I can't get the fucking trees… Damn! I will kill everyone in the world!"
And he was a mass-murdering fuckhead, as many important historians have said. But there were other mass murderers that got away with it! Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, well done there; Pol Pot killed 1.7 million Cambodians, died under house arrest at age 72, well done indeed! And the reason we let them get away with it is because they killed their own people, and we're sort of fine with that. “Ah, help yourself,” you know? “We've been trying to kill you for ages!” So kill your own people, right on there. Seems to be… Hitler killed people next door... “Oh… stupid man!” After a couple of years, we won't stand for that, will we?
thanks for your reply, I hope this note finds you well.
How I come up with all this numbers? Well you know, a combination of the world wide web and google.
Instead of answering your questions, I am sending you some stand-up by Eddie Izzard, from his show "dress to kill".
"Yes, and I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Oh, yeah. You tear your history down, man! “30 years old, let's smash it to the floor and put a car park here!" I have seen it in stories. I sawsomething in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then!"
Well, we got tons of history lying about the place, big old castles, and they just get in the way. We're driving-- "Oh, a fucking castle! Have to drive around it..." Disney came over and built Euro Disney, and they built the Disney castle there, and it was, "You better make it a bit bigger, they've actually got them here... And they're not made of plastic!" We got tons of them, ‘cause you think we all live in castles, and we do all live in castles! We all got a castle each. We're up to here with fucking castles! We just long for a bungalow or something.
And I grew up in the 70s, when the careers advisor used to come to school, and he used to get the kids together and say, "Look, I advise you to get a career, what can I say? That's it." And he took me aside, he said, "Whatcha you want to do, kid? Whatcha you want to do? Tell me, tell me your dreams!" "I want to be a space astronaut! Go to outer space, discover things that have never been discovered." He said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit, all right?" "All right, I want to work in a shoe shop then! Discover shoes that no one's ever discovered right in the back of the shop, on the left." And he said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit, all right?" "All right, I want to work in a sewer then! Discover sewage that no one's ever discovered, and pile it on my head, then come to the surface and sell myself to an art gallery." He said, "What the fuck have you been smoking, eh? Certainly you haven't been smoking in a bar in California, that's for certain!" ‘Cause you can't! No, no smoking in bars now, and soon, no drinking and no talking! Be careful, California! You're supposed to be the crazy state, the out there, the wild ones, you know? In the future, everyone's going to say, "Come down to the library, we'll have a wild time, shall we? “ ( mimes dragging on a joint ) “Don't know where that fucking book is, mate, it could be anywhere! There's a lot of 'em about!"
Yeah,so, yes, so that was it. There was a spirit of ex-empire, this thing of “things can't be done," whereas in America, I thought there was a spirit of "can be done!" The pioneer thing.
"Go do it, what do you want to do?"
“I want to put babies on spikes."
"Go then! Go!” It's the American Dream!
Got your letter sent the 19th. Today the 26th
Gypsy
Got it! Will give you some input soon!
Gypsy