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Please keep your head up. While the system does have its flaws, those who learn how to live within the system are much more likely to escape from both the physical and mental prison that surrounds them. It is in your mind only that you can be a prisoner.

"A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that's unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push." - Ludwig Wittgenstein

Do not fight against your current situation. The more you push and struggle against the forces that contain you, the longer you will remain imprisoned.

Open your heart, pull from your experiences behind bars, and let your mind be free. Peace only comes once you've found peace within yourself. Never stop writing. Someone is listening.

-Anonymous

It's admirable that you have been able to find a productive and useful way to keep your mind occupied, which is no small feat when everyday is almost exactly the same as the last. In looking through your blog, your artwork is beautiful so please continue to share! My best to you. -Melanie

Your artwork is beautiful!

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Hi! I transcribed your post and really liked what you wrote! I completely agree that our health care system is corrupt and unfair- it sounds way worse for you with Corizon. I had no idea that Rick Scott was involved in medicare fraud, that's so infuriating. I hope you get your wheelchair back.

Here is some more on Responsibility as a subject:

"There is a Scale of Responsibility between Full Responsibility
and Full Other- Responsibility (“Someone else” is responsible)…
Complete negation of responsibility is
complete admission of being under the complete control of the
environment. Assumption of Full Responsibility is a statement of
control of the environment and persons within it without necessity
of control.

There is a cycle of responsibility. One acts and seeks to
negate his responsibility for such action by placing the "reason"
at another s door. This works so long as one succeeds in making
another accept responsibility for the action. The moment this
action fails and another does not accept it, the entire action
comes back at one. It is then a matter of fault and fixed (by
another) blame and stirs the emotion of "guilt." Before this cycle
begins, there is no aberration (A word which means “a departure
from rational thought or behavior”), no matter what has been done, no
matter what has happened to anyone. The action occurs, but is no
cause for discussion or justice until one seeks to shunt cause
elsewhere than self. This starts the cycle and eventually comes
back as "fault." Full Responsibility is not fault, it is
recognition of being cause .

RATIONALIZATION is wholly an attempt to shunt responsibility .
Whatever occurs to one, wherever on whatever track, is actually on
his own responsibility . . .
The highest common denominator so far reached on occlusion (Occlusion in the mind
of what has happened) is
the responsibility factor. One is occluded on whatever he has tried
not to be responsible for. He refuses responsibility for the
incident, thus he has no control or responsibility for the
facsimile of the incident. One can control nothing without assuming
Full Responsibility for it.

Best, Joe R.

Hi Debbie, Wow, thanks a lot!!! This is GREAT! I know for a fact that Bill appreciates your words as well and I know for a fact that it is good for all concerned to communicate more. More communication and not less; even when the communication goes bad sometimes it is better to communicate more to resolve it. I know what you mean about struggling with unforgiveness; which has to do somewhat with responsibility and a way to take responsibility for what one has done or failed to do. Blame enters into the equation, and that’s not good. Responsibility is another thing entirely and occurs only very high on the scale. Bill was doing the same thing; down in grief, anger, etc. which of course meant a lack of responsibility. Things are different now.
Anyway, my viewpoint, and I think it should be all of our viewpoints; is to help each other. I happen to know some things which can help people with their troubles so I am using it as much as I can to help Bill. He is also helping others in prison. He desperately wants to help you and the kids. I definitely think it is good that you said that you let your husband know of what you do in regards to Bill. Yes, we’re not going to go back to the way things were; but it does seem like you still want to take responsibility for him, and I think this is a very good thing. When I started to visit him I think this was a major turning point. He has strong purposes for his family and so getting the kids and you to communicate will be good for all. I know that he can’t apologize enough; but we also shouldn’t drive him to propitiate as that isn't good. Again, that doesn’t mean that some screwy idea might not come up; but so what, we can handle that. In order to take responsibility for something and to be able to control it (Control here is defined as giving a positive direction), one needs to have knowledge about the thing.

Thank you Debbie for all you said here. You are obviously a good person. I would like to talk to you more (On the phone or something) and I would like for some of you to visit Bill so that we can take more responsibility for him and boost him up even more. I’m involved in this now, emotionally and in all ways. I want to see us all have a big win. I can help drive people to visit and be there as well (I want to be there as it will be a win for me to see Bill meet his family again) to help with anything needed such as briefing as to what it is like, etc. Please write again or arrange to call or something.
I rambled too! Didn’t mean to be too complicated.

Best Regards, Joe R.

Thank you so much for this. I can tell you are well-read in Scripture, since you bring up and interpret perfectly all those different passages. I've recently been dwelling on this subject as well. I read an article today, that gave personal advice for living longer, from people aged 100 or older. A common theme was not being depressed, and always having a cheery attitude. I think this advice meshes well with Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, in which He told us not to worry. This makes much sense: it's G-d's job to care for us; moreover, He has the ability to help us. By worrying, we do nothing but make ourselves miserable, and our lives shorter. No matter how much we fret, we cannot, in many cases, change what happens to us. However, we can change how we respond to the uncontrollable situations. And by having a humble, happy heart, we become happy and find peace. By the way, what better peace is there, than the knowledge of Christ Jesus as our Savior? It's great to see you and others keep the faith, and welcome Christ into your lives; in that way, you are liberated from desolation. Be the Lights of the World, and the Salt of the Earth. As Christians, we ought to look forward to an eternal happiness, which is freely given by G-d to us. And think about this: after five minutes, you are no closer to the end of eternity, then after one trillion years. Can't wait for that, eh? And I can't wait to meet you there as well, brother.
Best,
Calhoun25

These poems remind me of the great modernist poets, such as T.S. Eliot and W.H. Auden. They are terse, yet pack quite a punch. I wonder: did you intentionally organize the poems in this manner? A way to enhance one's poetry, is to find clever ways of organizing it. This effect is greatest when the poems seem largely unrelated; for it keeps the reader thinking why they were organized so. (And hopefully, there is a deep, yet not immediately obvious reason why they are collected so.) Also, I think the "/"'s in the first poem are rather ingenious. I have never seen that before; I think it reveals an attitude of great indecision. Keep writing, and keep your head up; can't wait to read your next works.
Best,
Calhoun25