"There is a Scale of Responsibility between Full Responsibility and Full Other- Responsibility (“Someone else” is responsible)… Complete negation of responsibility is complete admission of being under the complete control of the environment. Assumption of Full Responsibility is a statement of control of the environment and persons within it without necessity of control.
There is a cycle of responsibility. One acts and seeks to negate his responsibility for such action by placing the "reason" at another s door. This works so long as one succeeds in making another accept responsibility for the action. The moment this action fails and another does not accept it, the entire action comes back at one. It is then a matter of fault and fixed (by another) blame and stirs the emotion of "guilt." Before this cycle begins, there is no aberration (A word which means “a departure from rational thought or behavior”), no matter what has been done, no matter what has happened to anyone. The action occurs, but is no cause for discussion or justice until one seeks to shunt cause elsewhere than self. This starts the cycle and eventually comes back as "fault." Full Responsibility is not fault, it is recognition of being cause .
RATIONALIZATION is wholly an attempt to shunt responsibility . Whatever occurs to one, wherever on whatever track, is actually on his own responsibility . . . The highest common denominator so far reached on occlusion (Occlusion in the mind of what has happened) is the responsibility factor. One is occluded on whatever he has tried not to be responsible for. He refuses responsibility for the incident, thus he has no control or responsibility for the facsimile of the incident. One can control nothing without assuming Full Responsibility for it.
Hi Debbie, Wow, thanks a lot!!! This is GREAT! I know for a fact that Bill appreciates your words as well and I know for a fact that it is good for all concerned to communicate more. More communication and not less; even when the communication goes bad sometimes it is better to communicate more to resolve it. I know what you mean about struggling with unforgiveness; which has to do somewhat with responsibility and a way to take responsibility for what one has done or failed to do. Blame enters into the equation, and that’s not good. Responsibility is another thing entirely and occurs only very high on the scale. Bill was doing the same thing; down in grief, anger, etc. which of course meant a lack of responsibility. Things are different now. Anyway, my viewpoint, and I think it should be all of our viewpoints; is to help each other. I happen to know some things which can help people with their troubles so I am using it as much as I can to help Bill. He is also helping others in prison. He desperately wants to help you and the kids. I definitely think it is good that you said that you let your husband know of what you do in regards to Bill. Yes, we’re not going to go back to the way things were; but it does seem like you still want to take responsibility for him, and I think this is a very good thing. When I started to visit him I think this was a major turning point. He has strong purposes for his family and so getting the kids and you to communicate will be good for all. I know that he can’t apologize enough; but we also shouldn’t drive him to propitiate as that isn't good. Again, that doesn’t mean that some screwy idea might not come up; but so what, we can handle that. In order to take responsibility for something and to be able to control it (Control here is defined as giving a positive direction), one needs to have knowledge about the thing.
Thank you Debbie for all you said here. You are obviously a good person. I would like to talk to you more (On the phone or something) and I would like for some of you to visit Bill so that we can take more responsibility for him and boost him up even more. I’m involved in this now, emotionally and in all ways. I want to see us all have a big win. I can help drive people to visit and be there as well (I want to be there as it will be a win for me to see Bill meet his family again) to help with anything needed such as briefing as to what it is like, etc. Please write again or arrange to call or something. I rambled too! Didn’t mean to be too complicated.
Thank you so much for this. I can tell you are well-read in Scripture, since you bring up and interpret perfectly all those different passages. I've recently been dwelling on this subject as well. I read an article today, that gave personal advice for living longer, from people aged 100 or older. A common theme was not being depressed, and always having a cheery attitude. I think this advice meshes well with Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, in which He told us not to worry. This makes much sense: it's G-d's job to care for us; moreover, He has the ability to help us. By worrying, we do nothing but make ourselves miserable, and our lives shorter. No matter how much we fret, we cannot, in many cases, change what happens to us. However, we can change how we respond to the uncontrollable situations. And by having a humble, happy heart, we become happy and find peace. By the way, what better peace is there, than the knowledge of Christ Jesus as our Savior? It's great to see you and others keep the faith, and welcome Christ into your lives; in that way, you are liberated from desolation. Be the Lights of the World, and the Salt of the Earth. As Christians, we ought to look forward to an eternal happiness, which is freely given by G-d to us. And think about this: after five minutes, you are no closer to the end of eternity, then after one trillion years. Can't wait for that, eh? And I can't wait to meet you there as well, brother. Best, Calhoun25
These poems remind me of the great modernist poets, such as T.S. Eliot and W.H. Auden. They are terse, yet pack quite a punch. I wonder: did you intentionally organize the poems in this manner? A way to enhance one's poetry, is to find clever ways of organizing it. This effect is greatest when the poems seem largely unrelated; for it keeps the reader thinking why they were organized so. (And hopefully, there is a deep, yet not immediately obvious reason why they are collected so.) Also, I think the "/"'s in the first poem are rather ingenious. I have never seen that before; I think it reveals an attitude of great indecision. Keep writing, and keep your head up; can't wait to read your next works. Best, Calhoun25
Wow! It's great to hear all those people giving love your way. Have you been making music for a while? Bet it's composed from the heart and influenced by hard experiences: the best kind of music. Time for a fresh start, eh? Hope things keep going your way; keep your head up, and keep writing! Best, Calhoun25
Dear Joe, I am Bills ex wife, and I just wanted to say thank you for being there for Bill,and I thank God for you as well. I struggled with unforgivness for a long time, not only towards Bill but with myself as well, Along with our children coming back into our lives, true forgiveness seemed to fall upon me & my heart goes out to Bill. I have been happily married for going on two years wonderful man & good friend of 8yrs. The kids told me about this site,so every once in awhile I take a peek to see how things are with Bill(my husband knows) I don't know why I'm rambling on cuz all I really wanted to say was thank you & May God Bless You & Be with you ALWAYS. Sincerely Debbie Q.
Hi Troy, How are you? I sincerely hope that you are fine. I am very impressed with the way you have described strength and determination. As you know people outside sometimes can feel trapped too. They just try to convince themselves that they are not trapped but can't stop feeling that way either. Here is a quote about determination may be you have heard about. "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and will always solve the problems of the human race." -Calvin Coolidge-Former President of US. Also I would like to ask you if there is any possibility of you getting out of solitary?What are the procedures for that? Love, Selen
Everyday is another day in the prison known as my mind. Your prison is literal. Mine is metaphorical. But, I CAN BET YOU mine is worse. I AM IN THE PRISON OF MY MIND. But, I don't hate you. In all actuality, I want to hold you and tell you that I forgive you. But, that will never happen. I know you had a tough childhood. That's why I feel sorry for you. I had a tough childhood. I don't remember any of it. I cut myself with kitchen knives. I've been three times to the hospital and that was enough to scare me. Yet, I still cut. BECAUSE OF YOU. My mom is everything I need. My mother takes good care of me. She's doing everything for me and I've never met a mother so dedicated. But, after, you fucked us over, it was difficult for her and I have memories of her just laying there, dead. She tried her best for me but my memories say that's not enough. I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! FUCK EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE. And, for the longest time I admired you. I held that BULLSHIT letter you gave to me to my chest and I cherished it. But, I burnt it not too long ago. I burnt away your apologies. I can't hold on to this anger anymore and I hope you're happy for me that I was finally able to let it out. I feel so much fucking better right now. But, I'll probably cut myself after this. Music helps a lot. i like 90's rock. If you're wondering how I'm doing in school, I'm great I'm in artsy school and my teachers adore me for my eccentric ways. I do a lot of writing. I don't have many friends. I'm very out of place. Here's a poem I wrote: Smelly House of Lemons: Maybe it's the dog, Flea ridden and decaying inside and out from old age, Maybe it's the rotting food, Growing unseemly mold and lying on kitchen counters.. and piling high in cups in my room, Maybe it's the cat's piss and vomit Covering hidden places in the basement, untouched for weeks, Maybe it's the yellow walls, a piss color The color of a lemon, The smell of a lemon, No it was not a lemon! The taste of a lemon... The disease radiating off my father , His ghost haunting the halls. Maybe it's the rats hiding in the wall, Scratching and screaming, Wanting to be set free, Maybe it's the ghost of the man who died previously in this hellish home, Haunting me for touching his things and existing in his very house, Maybe it's the haunting, daunting history of mine, The sour smell and taste of lemons that lived in the basement and my polka dotted bedroom, Maybe, it's the smell of fresh paint covering the tainted walls of past, trying to tuck it away, Maybe it's the smell of the soap that I scrubbed on my body trying to wash away my father's disease. Maybe it's the alcohol my mother drinks to mask the pain she feels from the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and fibromyalgia Maybe it's me. My worried, anxiety ridden brain spreading chemicals and corkscrews. Here's a picture of me http://prntscr.com/4mq0js I hope someone prints it out or something. -Ashley Labbe
I found your blogs on another persons Facebook. I enjoyed reading them and am happy that God is using you in such a way to inspire others. I pray God comforts you and continues to provide a light for you there.
RSS
"There is a Scale of Responsibility between Full Responsibility
and Full Other- Responsibility (“Someone else” is responsible)…
Complete negation of responsibility is
complete admission of being under the complete control of the
environment. Assumption of Full Responsibility is a statement of
control of the environment and persons within it without necessity
of control.
There is a cycle of responsibility. One acts and seeks to
negate his responsibility for such action by placing the "reason"
at another s door. This works so long as one succeeds in making
another accept responsibility for the action. The moment this
action fails and another does not accept it, the entire action
comes back at one. It is then a matter of fault and fixed (by
another) blame and stirs the emotion of "guilt." Before this cycle
begins, there is no aberration (A word which means “a departure
from rational thought or behavior”), no matter what has been done, no
matter what has happened to anyone. The action occurs, but is no
cause for discussion or justice until one seeks to shunt cause
elsewhere than self. This starts the cycle and eventually comes
back as "fault." Full Responsibility is not fault, it is
recognition of being cause .
RATIONALIZATION is wholly an attempt to shunt responsibility .
Whatever occurs to one, wherever on whatever track, is actually on
his own responsibility . . .
The highest common denominator so far reached on occlusion (Occlusion in the mind
of what has happened) is
the responsibility factor. One is occluded on whatever he has tried
not to be responsible for. He refuses responsibility for the
incident, thus he has no control or responsibility for the
facsimile of the incident. One can control nothing without assuming
Full Responsibility for it.
Best, Joe R.
Anyway, my viewpoint, and I think it should be all of our viewpoints; is to help each other. I happen to know some things which can help people with their troubles so I am using it as much as I can to help Bill. He is also helping others in prison. He desperately wants to help you and the kids. I definitely think it is good that you said that you let your husband know of what you do in regards to Bill. Yes, we’re not going to go back to the way things were; but it does seem like you still want to take responsibility for him, and I think this is a very good thing. When I started to visit him I think this was a major turning point. He has strong purposes for his family and so getting the kids and you to communicate will be good for all. I know that he can’t apologize enough; but we also shouldn’t drive him to propitiate as that isn't good. Again, that doesn’t mean that some screwy idea might not come up; but so what, we can handle that. In order to take responsibility for something and to be able to control it (Control here is defined as giving a positive direction), one needs to have knowledge about the thing.
Thank you Debbie for all you said here. You are obviously a good person. I would like to talk to you more (On the phone or something) and I would like for some of you to visit Bill so that we can take more responsibility for him and boost him up even more. I’m involved in this now, emotionally and in all ways. I want to see us all have a big win. I can help drive people to visit and be there as well (I want to be there as it will be a win for me to see Bill meet his family again) to help with anything needed such as briefing as to what it is like, etc. Please write again or arrange to call or something.
I rambled too! Didn’t mean to be too complicated.
Best Regards, Joe R.
Best,
Calhoun25
Best,
Calhoun25
Best,
Calhoun25
I am Bills ex wife, and I just wanted to say thank you for being there for Bill,and I thank God for you as well.
I struggled with unforgivness for a long time, not only towards Bill but with myself as well,
Along with our children coming back into our lives, true forgiveness seemed to fall upon me & my heart goes out to Bill.
I have been happily married for going on two years wonderful man & good friend of 8yrs.
The kids told me about this site,so every once in awhile I take a peek to see how things are with Bill(my husband knows) I don't know why I'm rambling on cuz all I really wanted to say was thank you & May God Bless You & Be with you ALWAYS.
Sincerely Debbie Q.
How are you? I sincerely hope that you are fine. I am very impressed with the way you have described strength and determination. As you know people outside sometimes can feel trapped too. They just try to convince themselves that they are not trapped but can't stop feeling that way either. Here is a quote about determination may be you have heard about.
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and will always solve the problems of the human race."
-Calvin Coolidge-Former President of US.
Also I would like to ask you if there is any possibility of you getting out of solitary?What are the procedures for that?
Love,
Selen
I AM IN THE PRISON OF MY MIND.
But, I don't hate you. In all actuality, I want to hold you and tell you that I forgive you. But, that will never happen.
I know you had a tough childhood. That's why I feel sorry for you. I had a tough childhood. I don't remember any of it.
I cut myself with kitchen knives.
I've been three times to the hospital and that was enough to scare me. Yet, I still cut. BECAUSE OF YOU.
My mom is everything I need. My mother takes good care of me. She's doing everything for me and I've never met a mother so dedicated.
But, after, you fucked us over, it was difficult for her and I have memories of her just laying there, dead. She tried her best for me but my memories say that's not enough.
I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! FUCK EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE.
And, for the longest time I admired you. I held that BULLSHIT letter you gave to me to my chest and I cherished it. But, I burnt it not too long ago. I burnt away your apologies.
I can't hold on to this anger anymore and I hope you're happy for me that I was finally able to let it out. I feel so much fucking better right now. But, I'll probably cut myself after this.
Music helps a lot. i like 90's rock.
If you're wondering how I'm doing in school, I'm great I'm in artsy school and my teachers adore me for my eccentric ways. I do a lot of writing. I don't have many friends. I'm very out of place.
Here's a poem I wrote:
Smelly House of Lemons:
Maybe it's the dog,
Flea ridden and decaying inside and out from old age,
Maybe it's the rotting food,
Growing unseemly mold and lying on kitchen counters.. and piling high in cups in my room,
Maybe it's the cat's piss and vomit
Covering hidden places in the basement, untouched for weeks,
Maybe it's the yellow walls, a piss color
The color of a lemon,
The smell of a lemon,
No it was not a lemon!
The taste of a lemon...
The disease radiating off my father ,
His ghost haunting the halls.
Maybe it's the rats hiding in the wall,
Scratching and screaming,
Wanting to be set free,
Maybe it's the ghost of the man who died previously in this hellish home,
Haunting me for touching his things and existing in his very house,
Maybe it's the haunting, daunting history of mine,
The sour smell and taste of lemons that lived in the basement and my polka dotted bedroom,
Maybe, it's the smell of fresh paint covering the tainted walls of past, trying to tuck it away,
Maybe it's the smell of the soap that I scrubbed on my body trying to wash away my father's disease.
Maybe it's the alcohol my mother drinks to mask the pain she feels from the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and fibromyalgia
Maybe it's me.
My worried, anxiety ridden brain spreading chemicals and corkscrews.
Here's a picture of me http://prntscr.com/4mq0js I hope someone prints it out or something.
-Ashley Labbe
69 bob seay road
Cherokee, nc 28719
Ive tried passing my address to some of the pina side hoping theyd pass it to you.
I found your blogs on another persons Facebook. I enjoyed reading them and am happy that God is using you in such a way to inspire others. I pray God comforts you and continues to provide a light for you there.
Take care,
David Witt