Everyday is another day in the prison known as my mind. Your prison is literal. Mine is metaphorical. But, I CAN BET YOU mine is worse. I AM IN THE PRISON OF MY MIND. But, I don't hate you. In all actuality, I want to hold you and tell you that I forgive you. But, that will never happen. I know you had a tough childhood. That's why I feel sorry for you. I had a tough childhood. I don't remember any of it. I cut myself with kitchen knives. I've been three times to the hospital and that was enough to scare me. Yet, I still cut. BECAUSE OF YOU. My mom is everything I need. My mother takes good care of me. She's doing everything for me and I've never met a mother so dedicated. But, after, you fucked us over, it was difficult for her and I have memories of her just laying there, dead. She tried her best for me but my memories say that's not enough. I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! FUCK EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE. And, for the longest time I admired you. I held that BULLSHIT letter you gave to me to my chest and I cherished it. But, I burnt it not too long ago. I burnt away your apologies. I can't hold on to this anger anymore and I hope you're happy for me that I was finally able to let it out. I feel so much fucking better right now. But, I'll probably cut myself after this. Music helps a lot. i like 90's rock. If you're wondering how I'm doing in school, I'm great I'm in artsy school and my teachers adore me for my eccentric ways. I do a lot of writing. I don't have many friends. I'm very out of place. Here's a poem I wrote: Smelly House of Lemons: Maybe it's the dog, Flea ridden and decaying inside and out from old age, Maybe it's the rotting food, Growing unseemly mold and lying on kitchen counters.. and piling high in cups in my room, Maybe it's the cat's piss and vomit Covering hidden places in the basement, untouched for weeks, Maybe it's the yellow walls, a piss color The color of a lemon, The smell of a lemon, No it was not a lemon! The taste of a lemon... The disease radiating off my father , His ghost haunting the halls. Maybe it's the rats hiding in the wall, Scratching and screaming, Wanting to be set free, Maybe it's the ghost of the man who died previously in this hellish home, Haunting me for touching his things and existing in his very house, Maybe it's the haunting, daunting history of mine, The sour smell and taste of lemons that lived in the basement and my polka dotted bedroom, Maybe, it's the smell of fresh paint covering the tainted walls of past, trying to tuck it away, Maybe it's the smell of the soap that I scrubbed on my body trying to wash away my father's disease. Maybe it's the alcohol my mother drinks to mask the pain she feels from the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and fibromyalgia Maybe it's me. My worried, anxiety ridden brain spreading chemicals and corkscrews. Here's a picture of me http://prntscr.com/4mq0js I hope someone prints it out or something. -Ashley Labbe
I found your blogs on another persons Facebook. I enjoyed reading them and am happy that God is using you in such a way to inspire others. I pray God comforts you and continues to provide a light for you there.
Hey I'm Marian and I just wish you the very best and hope you continue staying strong and remember every thing you see in this awful word has a ending and people get second chances I wish you the best.!!!!!
"When you die there will never be another person like you, you are rarer than the rarest diamond, more beautiful than any flower, you shine brighter than all the stars. You are the only there will ever be."...What a beautiful thing to say! I hope that someone reads your blog entry and finds solace in your words. My best to you. -Melanie
Human papillomavirus (HPV) is a DNA virus from the papillomavirus family that is capable of infecting humans. Like all papillomaviruses, HPVs establish productive infections only in keratinocytes of the skin or mucous membranes. Most HPV infections are subclinical and will cause no physical symptoms; however, in some people subclinical infections will become clinical and may cause benign papillomas (such as warts [verrucae] or squamous cell papilloma), or cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, penis, oropharynx and anus.[1] HPV has been linked with an increased risk of cardiovascular disease.[2] In addition, HPV 16 and 18 infections are a cause of a unique type of oropharyngeal (throat) cancer and are believed to cause 70% of cervical cancer, which have available vaccines. More than 30 to 40 types of HPV are typically transmitted through sexual contact and infect the anogenital region. Some sexually transmitted HPV types may cause genital warts. Persistent infection with "high-risk" HPV types—different from the ones that cause skin warts—may progress to precancerous lesions and invasive cancer.[7] High-risk HPV infection is a cause of nearly all cases of cervical cancer.[8] However, most infections do not cause disease. Seventy percent of clinical HPV infections, in young men and women, may regress to subclinical in one year and ninety percent in two years.[9] However, when the subclinical infection persists—in 5% to 10% of infected women—there is high risk of developing precancerous lesions of the vulva and cervix, which can progress to invasive cancer. Progression from subclinical to clinical infection may take years; providing opportunities for detection and treatment of pre-cancerous lesions. In more developed countries, cervical screening using a Papanicolaou (Pap) test or liquid-based cytology is used to detect abnormal cells that may develop into cancer. If abnormal cells are found, women are invited to have a colposcopy. During a colposcopic inspection, biopsies can be taken and abnormal areas can be removed with a simple procedure, typically with a cauterizing loop or, more commonly in the developing world—by freezing (cryotherapy). Treating abnormal cells in this way can prevent them from developing into cervical cancer. Pap smears have reduced the incidence and fatalities of cervical cancer in the developed world, but even so there were 11,000 cases and 3,900 deaths in the U.S. in 2008.[10] Cervical cancer has substantial mortality worldwide, there are an estimated 490,000 cases and 270,000 deaths each year. info via wikipedia
Hi Milton I'm Bryce's wife Dee and I will make sure he gets a copy of this, he will be happy to know that he has support beyond the gates. Thank You and Be Well, D. Noonan
Miss your phone calls. I don't know what the last letter I sent you was about. Everything is in a jumble again. I'm surviving well, as usual, suffering too. I just knew if I wrote to you on here, right now that you'd get this. Love you always. Get your ass out of prison.
RSS
I AM IN THE PRISON OF MY MIND.
But, I don't hate you. In all actuality, I want to hold you and tell you that I forgive you. But, that will never happen.
I know you had a tough childhood. That's why I feel sorry for you. I had a tough childhood. I don't remember any of it.
I cut myself with kitchen knives.
I've been three times to the hospital and that was enough to scare me. Yet, I still cut. BECAUSE OF YOU.
My mom is everything I need. My mother takes good care of me. She's doing everything for me and I've never met a mother so dedicated.
But, after, you fucked us over, it was difficult for her and I have memories of her just laying there, dead. She tried her best for me but my memories say that's not enough.
I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! FUCK EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE.
And, for the longest time I admired you. I held that BULLSHIT letter you gave to me to my chest and I cherished it. But, I burnt it not too long ago. I burnt away your apologies.
I can't hold on to this anger anymore and I hope you're happy for me that I was finally able to let it out. I feel so much fucking better right now. But, I'll probably cut myself after this.
Music helps a lot. i like 90's rock.
If you're wondering how I'm doing in school, I'm great I'm in artsy school and my teachers adore me for my eccentric ways. I do a lot of writing. I don't have many friends. I'm very out of place.
Here's a poem I wrote:
Smelly House of Lemons:
Maybe it's the dog,
Flea ridden and decaying inside and out from old age,
Maybe it's the rotting food,
Growing unseemly mold and lying on kitchen counters.. and piling high in cups in my room,
Maybe it's the cat's piss and vomit
Covering hidden places in the basement, untouched for weeks,
Maybe it's the yellow walls, a piss color
The color of a lemon,
The smell of a lemon,
No it was not a lemon!
The taste of a lemon...
The disease radiating off my father ,
His ghost haunting the halls.
Maybe it's the rats hiding in the wall,
Scratching and screaming,
Wanting to be set free,
Maybe it's the ghost of the man who died previously in this hellish home,
Haunting me for touching his things and existing in his very house,
Maybe it's the haunting, daunting history of mine,
The sour smell and taste of lemons that lived in the basement and my polka dotted bedroom,
Maybe, it's the smell of fresh paint covering the tainted walls of past, trying to tuck it away,
Maybe it's the smell of the soap that I scrubbed on my body trying to wash away my father's disease.
Maybe it's the alcohol my mother drinks to mask the pain she feels from the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and fibromyalgia
Maybe it's me.
My worried, anxiety ridden brain spreading chemicals and corkscrews.
Here's a picture of me http://prntscr.com/4mq0js I hope someone prints it out or something.
-Ashley Labbe
69 bob seay road
Cherokee, nc 28719
Ive tried passing my address to some of the pina side hoping theyd pass it to you.
I found your blogs on another persons Facebook. I enjoyed reading them and am happy that God is using you in such a way to inspire others. I pray God comforts you and continues to provide a light for you there.
Take care,
David Witt
More than 30 to 40 types of HPV are typically transmitted through sexual contact and infect the anogenital region. Some sexually transmitted HPV types may cause genital warts. Persistent infection with "high-risk" HPV types—different from the ones that cause skin warts—may progress to precancerous lesions and invasive cancer.[7] High-risk HPV infection is a cause of nearly all cases of cervical cancer.[8] However, most infections do not cause disease.
Seventy percent of clinical HPV infections, in young men and women, may regress to subclinical in one year and ninety percent in two years.[9] However, when the subclinical infection persists—in 5% to 10% of infected women—there is high risk of developing precancerous lesions of the vulva and cervix, which can progress to invasive cancer. Progression from subclinical to clinical infection may take years; providing opportunities for detection and treatment of pre-cancerous lesions.
In more developed countries, cervical screening using a Papanicolaou (Pap) test or liquid-based cytology is used to detect abnormal cells that may develop into cancer. If abnormal cells are found, women are invited to have a colposcopy. During a colposcopic inspection, biopsies can be taken and abnormal areas can be removed with a simple procedure, typically with a cauterizing loop or, more commonly in the developing world—by freezing (cryotherapy). Treating abnormal cells in this way can prevent them from developing into cervical cancer. Pap smears have reduced the incidence and fatalities of cervical cancer in the developed world, but even so there were 11,000 cases and 3,900 deaths in the U.S. in 2008.[10] Cervical cancer has substantial mortality worldwide, there are an estimated 490,000 cases and 270,000 deaths each year.
info via wikipedia
D. Noonan