7/30/12
A Retold Tale:
Robinson Crusoe, Friday, and A Sleeping Beauty :D

Robinson Crusoe awoke with a groan
Another day spent alone on the isle
He scratched his beard, amazed at how it grown
He hadn't bathed or shaved in quite a while

Friday avoided him for a season
He had to clear his head, take time to think
Try to wrap his mind around a reason
That something living married such a stink

Sleeping beauty was still under a spell
Though she couldn't move, her mind was intact
She had been left hidden there in that dell
When she awoke, she'd have that old witch whacked

Friday and Crusoe went to pick some fruit
And unexpectedly came face to face
They both froze there, deaf, dumb, funky, and mute
As time stood still, their hearts began to race

A bird chirped, Crusoe burped, and Friday sweated
Even Sleeping Beauty let out a sneeze
They bot saw her there and were transported
By their own rhapsodic revelries

"I saw her first, she's mine!" said Robinson
Friday said, "You must have lost your mind
She's frozen stiff as a mannequin
But I must admit, she's mighty fine."

Sleeping Beauty heard the argument
And she couldn't help but get excited
But one of them could use deodorant
Or his "love" would wind up unrequited

"Well, we'll just have to figure something out"
Said Robinson, slyly stroking his beard
"A contest, one winner. Would leave no doubt
Let the best man win," he said as he sneered

Friday was young but he was nobody's fool
The old man looked to be pretty shrewd
Sly as a fox and funky as a mule
He'd have to think quick to outdo this dude

"That whippersnapper doesn't stand a chance,"
Thought Crusoe as he plotted and schemed
This day will end with a Crusoe romance
And Friday nights like the ones he had dreamed

The Beauty lay there with mixed emotions
She had figured out the cause of that smell
Crusoe had old English bathing notions
With him as "Prince", life would living hell

"Let's just have a race around the isle.
The first one back gets to kiss the beauty."
Said Crusoe, trying hard not to smile
His scheming would win that sweet patootie

Well, he was born at night but not last night
And Friday sensed that it was part of a trick
But he wouldn't be rude or impolite
Though funky, hairy dude was pretty slick

"How would I know that you went all around?"
Asked Friday, looking him right in the eyes
"Why, as an Englishman, I'm honorbound
I'm not some 'Pagan native' who tells lies."

Now of course, Friday felt insulted
But he bit his tongue and showed some respect
He knew nothing good would have resulted
From trading barbs with that old derelect

"Well, if you set out in one direction
Then I would have to run the other way
We'll cross paths so there'll be no objection
That would assure that there'll be no foul play."

Friday saw the logic but was it fair?
It almost guaranteed that he would win
Crusoe was ready for a rocking chair
He couldn't wait for the race to begin

The lovely lady laid there quite aware
That Crusoe must have had some kind of plan
The thought of him winning gave her a scare
A foul funk was rising from that man

"Okay, we'll start off on the count of three
The first one back gets to kiss the beauty
The best man will win, I'm sure you'll agree
To the victor goes the spoils and booty."

At the count of three, Friday hit the beach
He was determined he would win the prize
He would refuse to lose to that old leech
So he took off just like the eagle flies

Crusoe took a few steps then stopped and laughed
Things were going just as he'd planned
That whippersnapper was plumb dumb and daft
Not fleet of foot, he'd kept the upperhand

Crusoe approached the sleeping cutie
And saw an apple still clutched in her hand
Bright red and delicious, a real ripe beauty,
The fairest apple in the land

He put the apple in his pocket
Later on, he'd have the time for a snack
Friday had taken off like a rocket
But he'd be waiting there when he got back

He took his secret trail across the isle
And waited there at the halfway mark
Before Friday showed it would be a while
He'd have that beauty before it got dark

Friday was making good time on the beach
He thought the race was as good as won
The girl of his dreams would soon be in reach
Soon Friday's best night would have begun

Crusoe knew so surely that he had won
That he kicked back to have his little snack
Soon his isle would be Elysion
He pictured Beauty gracing his old shack

He saw the apple was missing a bite
But he had no idea about the cause
When he bit it, he was out like a light
Which is good because it rhymes with this verse

When Friday passed him, he was first asleep
With the apple now clutched in his hand
It served him right for being such a creep
He'd have the upperhand in La La Land

When Friday made his way back to the dell
Sleeping Beauty laid there holding her breath
If it were Crusoe she dreaded that smell
A kiss from him would be the kiss of death

But...

Beauty was in for a pleasant surprise
Because of who it was on that by-way
A tender kiss and she opened her eyes
Looked up and said, "Phew! Thank God
It's Friday!" :D LOL

And they lived happily ever after