Wow, that was quite a letter - I read the entire thing and appreciate you sharing your story. Even though you might not understand your dad's behavior, you've really put a lot of time into forgiving him and that's more than can be said for the rest of us.
I like what you've said about the foul line - very good example. I'd like to offer up my two-cents and include "control" into the picture.
For example, I'm on the foul line, I control everything up until the moment the ball leaves my fingertips. As soon as it's in the air, there's nothing I can do - the ball either goes into the basket or it doesn't. Whether it goes into the basket could depend on my preparation, but sometimes even the best preparation results in failure. Preparation is within my control; the outcome is not.
You also make a good point about people who try to get you off of your game when you're on that foul line. They want to make you angry and frustrated - to prevent you from succeeding. But that's when 'control' comes into the picture. Can I control the way someone else behaves? No. Can I control how I react to that person's behavior? Yes. Allowing someone else to 'make' us mad - to change our thoughts - is to give them power over us.
From what you written your first two pages, you know how anger can mess up a lot of situations (and people). It is a dangerous emotion that causes so much damage. There's a great philosopher of Stoicism, Seneca, who had this to say about anger a little over 2,000 years ago:
"The best course is to reject at once the first incitement to anger, to resist even its small beginnings, and to take pains to avoid falling into anger. For if it begins to lead us astray, the return to the safe path is difficult, since, if once we admit the emotion and by our own free will grant it any authority, reason becomes of no avail; after that it will do, not whatever you let it, but whatever it chooses."
Isn't it amazing how some things never change through the ages?
I've enjoyed what you've written. Thank you for sharing.
Paul, You really spend your time lecturing inmates? That is how you get your jollies? Calling prisoners by their number, not their name--nice added touch of dehumanization. You and I both know this an arbitrary and unnecessary disciplinary action, likely intended just to put Mr. Muise in his place. Politicians and community leaders visit prisons all the time. Mr. Muise wasn't organizing some radical Islamist cell within the prison. There was never a question of whose "authority" was at stake. Yes, we know "W66927" wasn't the host of social committee.
Hi. I just wanted to say happy belated birthday! I was thinking of singing a birthday song for you, but I was afraid you might would dissappear from this blog n never come back.. haha. :-D
Hi Donnie! I was actually reading your last post, but it seems like you have so much to tell so I found that I needed to start reading at your very first post to get a clue about your time behind the bars. So that's why I comment on this old post of yours. Hope you don't mind. :-) That being said, I will read through every post - it's kinda like a diary, or a book, and I can't even imagine how you manage to get through every day without going crazy. Please keep on writing, expressing your thoughts and feelings are a healthy way of easing your mind. I will follow. :-)
Hey Donnie, Hope this letter finds you well, despite where you are. People call me Pinky. I live in Wisconsin, Home of Harley's, Miller beer, and least we forget good ol' Dahmer. I came about this site by accident. I have a friend here doing life. He has been locked up since 75! Been denied parole every year. as of April 9th 2015 he got yet another D-12. I have been doing what I can to work with a group named FFUP. They are working on a compassionate release for old law inmates. Originally the law was if I remember correctly either mandatory release after 13 and a 1/2 years for a lifer,or parole eligibility,if you comitted a crime before 1999. But since the whole "truth in sentencing" came about, well needless to say..a fair shake is not to be had by anyone. I have no clue if CA has compassionate release or not. Ok well you should know who the hell is writing you, so here goes. As I said people call me pinky, being as for 15 yrs I have dyed 1/2 my hair pink in one way or another. I am 42 5'5 150 lbs, I have pink and blond hair, 8 or so tatts and 3 piercings Not going to lie, I am a sucker for long haired guys, but I am not looking for anyone for I have someone,but friends(hell we all need friends). His name is Donny as well,he is an ex inmate I read you were looking for conversation, now that I can do! Basically I have had prison in my life in one way or another, be it family locked up in CA who won't see anyone, or partners who have done time, some long before I was a tear drop in my daddy's eye! haha! I have never been married and do not intend to be. Not a fan of that mess. I am a fun, out spoken, sarcastic odd person. My sense of humor sometimes can be warped, and in some cases I have to explain it. haha! Should you read something and think " what the hell is she on?" Let me know and i will do my best to not be a total smartass. haha! I am a work in progress, I am well educated with the mouth of a sailor/trucker. :)
Not sure how this whole thing works as far as writing back and forth from this site, I will keep this letter short. Feel free to write back. I kinda have an idea about what is "ok" to write. If ya think I am a lost cause, well I get it, as I am not fit for everyone. :)
A DR for breaking the rules is not an attack on free speech. You use rules to suit your purpose but object when they don't. You are an inmate #W66927 and need to understand that you can not act with impunity.
RSS
For example, I'm on the foul line, I control everything up until the moment the ball leaves my fingertips. As soon as it's in the air, there's nothing I can do - the ball either goes into the basket or it doesn't. Whether it goes into the basket could depend on my preparation, but sometimes even the best preparation results in failure. Preparation is within my control; the outcome is not.
You also make a good point about people who try to get you off of your game when you're on that foul line. They want to make you angry and frustrated - to prevent you from succeeding. But that's when 'control' comes into the picture. Can I control the way someone else behaves? No. Can I control how I react to that person's behavior? Yes. Allowing someone else to 'make' us mad - to change our thoughts - is to give them power over us.
From what you written your first two pages, you know how anger can mess up a lot of situations (and people). It is a dangerous emotion that causes so much damage. There's a great philosopher of Stoicism, Seneca, who had this to say about anger a little over 2,000 years ago:
"The best course is to reject at once the first incitement to anger, to resist even its small beginnings, and to take pains to avoid falling into anger. For if it begins to lead us astray, the return to the safe path is difficult, since, if once we admit the emotion and by our own free will grant it any authority, reason becomes of no avail; after that it will do, not whatever you let it, but whatever it chooses."
Isn't it amazing how some things never change through the ages?
I've enjoyed what you've written. Thank you for sharing.
Seriously, dude . . . have a little compassion.
I was actually reading your last post, but it seems like you have so much to tell so I found that I needed to start reading at your very first post to get a clue about your time behind the bars. So that's why I comment on this old post of yours. Hope you don't mind. :-)
That being said, I will read through every post - it's kinda like a diary, or a book, and I can't even imagine how you manage to get through every day without going crazy.
Please keep on writing, expressing your thoughts and feelings are a healthy way of easing your mind. I will follow. :-)
Hope this letter finds you well, despite where you are.
People call me Pinky. I live in Wisconsin, Home of Harley's, Miller beer, and least we forget good ol' Dahmer. I came about this site by accident. I have a friend here doing life. He has been locked up since 75! Been denied parole every year. as of April 9th 2015 he got yet another D-12. I have been doing what I can to work with a group named FFUP. They are working on a compassionate release for old law inmates. Originally the law was if I remember correctly either mandatory release after 13 and a 1/2 years for a lifer,or parole eligibility,if you comitted a crime before 1999. But since the whole "truth in sentencing" came about, well needless to say..a fair shake is not to be had by anyone. I have no clue if CA has compassionate release or not.
Ok well you should know who the hell is writing you, so here goes. As I said people call me pinky, being as for 15 yrs I have dyed 1/2 my hair pink in one way or another. I am 42 5'5 150 lbs, I have pink and blond hair, 8 or so tatts and 3 piercings Not going to lie, I am a sucker for long haired guys, but I am not looking for anyone for I have someone,but friends(hell we all need friends). His name is Donny as well,he is an ex inmate I read you were looking for conversation, now that I can do!
Basically I have had prison in my life in one way or another, be it family locked up in CA who won't see anyone, or partners who have done time, some long before I was a tear drop in my daddy's eye! haha! I have never been married and do not intend to be. Not a fan of that mess. I am a fun, out spoken, sarcastic odd person. My sense of humor sometimes can be warped, and in some cases I have to explain it. haha! Should you read something and think " what the hell is she on?" Let me know and i will do my best to not be a total smartass. haha! I am a work in progress, I am well educated with the mouth of a sailor/trucker. :)
Not sure how this whole thing works as far as writing back and forth from this site, I will keep this letter short. Feel free to write back. I kinda have an idea about what is "ok" to write. If ya think I am a lost cause, well I get it, as I am not fit for everyone. :)
Have it good.
~Pinky
Paul