I will always live with the scars of the abuse I suffered as a child. I think depression and anxiety are things I will struggle with for the rest of my life.
I haven't talked to my father in over a decade, and I hold a tremendous amount of resentment towards him.
However, as I've gotten older, the resentment I have is not so much towards past wounds--those were so long ago now, and I can't imagine a life without them. My anger is towards the fact that he has never apologized. He's never attempted to prove to me that he was capable of change.
Your letter resonated to me because it's the letter I always hoped I'd get from my parents. It's beautiful. It shows how hard you're trying.
My mother acknowledged some of her mistakes to me when I was a teenager, but I wasn't ready to hear her apology yet. After a few tries, she gave up.
Ten years later, I wish she hadn't. If she could try again, it would mean so much.
What I want to tell you is: Don't give up.
It might be a year, five years, or ten. But I believe if a human being sees a continuous effort from someone who cares for them deeply, it would be very difficult for them not to be moved. Best of luck to you. So proud of your strength and your ability to overcome your past and become a person worthy of great love.
I saw a show about an American Prison on the East Coast a few weeks ago. Most of the show was about the negative side of solitary confinement; cons kicking windows, cutting themselves and going insane with boredom. The new Governor is reducing the number of cons in solitary cos it doesn't work!
Bill, Thank you for that little reminder of who I am & the love we've shared,bare with me for I'm weighting this through tear blind eyes so I can't even go over what I've already written. I only know if I don't get this out to you now it'll never get there so we may both end ep getting a laugh out ta this. Since the kids have been returning themselves back to us(& what amazing kids we've been Blessed with) true forgiveness has fallen upon me, not only towards you but for myself as well, and I can read your blogs with a pure heart & remember what we had before we got all spun out was something most people will never experience in a life time, & a love as true as ours truly never dies,and the power of such a love is why our children are so amazing and I'm talking about all of them from Heather down to Allen (AJ) Thank you Bill for the experience of a lifetime!! I'm closing for now but will get back to you, that "My only Sunshine got to me"
Write about recent books you have read. I'm reading "Darkness at Noon" by Arthur Koestler at the moment, it's about a man in prison solitary confinement.
Yes indeed, children are a gift and not a human right. Some couples are lucky enough to have kids as a gift from God, others are not so lucky. That is the way life goes, I guess.
It's good you keep in touch with your kids through letters, it's like you work away in another country and can't see them much.
I think this is unfair. Do you think your children will be able to afford college? Brag about the fact you committed a crime and get these privileges while your children struggle to live a moral crime free life and get nothing in return. Their mother works until she aches fighting through her pain to provide for them. Their stepdad working sun up to dark 7 days a week to make sure they have food and a home. The system isn't built for people like us anymore. It's made for the corrupt. If you want to be proud figure out how to help the children you left behind the women who's left raising them. I would say your legacy but they are not. They are ours, the women who dispite once belonging to you have managed to raise beautiful smart and wonderful children.
RSS
I haven't talked to my father in over a decade, and I hold a tremendous amount of resentment towards him.
However, as I've gotten older, the resentment I have is not so much towards past wounds--those were so long ago now, and I can't imagine a life without them. My anger is towards the fact that he has never apologized. He's never attempted to prove to me that he was capable of change.
Your letter resonated to me because it's the letter I always hoped I'd get from my parents. It's beautiful. It shows how hard you're trying.
My mother acknowledged some of her mistakes to me when I was a teenager, but I wasn't ready to hear her apology yet. After a few tries, she gave up.
Ten years later, I wish she hadn't. If she could try again, it would mean so much.
What I want to tell you is: Don't give up.
It might be a year, five years, or ten. But I believe if a human being sees a continuous effort from someone who cares for them deeply, it would be very difficult for them not to be moved. Best of luck to you. So proud of your strength and your ability to overcome your past and become a person worthy of great love.
Since the kids have been returning themselves back to us(& what amazing kids we've been Blessed with) true forgiveness has fallen upon me, not only towards you but for myself as well, and I can read your blogs with a pure heart & remember what we had before we got all spun out was something most people will never experience in a life time, & a love as true as ours truly never dies,and the power of such a love is why our children are so amazing and I'm talking about all of them from Heather down to Allen (AJ) Thank you Bill for the experience of a lifetime!! I'm closing for now but will get back to you, that "My only Sunshine got to me"
It's good you keep in touch with your kids through letters, it's like you work away in another country and can't see them much.
kate