May 4, 2016
From The Bear's Cage by Bobby-Joe Bayer (author's profile)
This post is in reply to comments on:  First Love thumbnail
First Love
(Sept. 4, 2013)

Transcription

Reply ID: xkfa
April 24th, 2016

Hey mckaydaughter,

Well, I've been trying to find everyone for a long time, Sis. Aunt Kay was trying to help me, but she couldn't find anyone. Mike went off the grid, and all I remember about you was where you lived before I got locked up, which was in Concord. I lost all my information when I was arrested, Dee.

It doesn't matter how long you took to find me. What matters to me is you did. I just found out last week. The letter I sent before to respond to your post wasn't sent in. That's what I was told anyways. I was waiting for you to write to me, as you said you were trying to. I don't know what happened or why you haven't written yet. I am hoping that you will. I would also like to get in touch with Mike too.

Look, Dee, I hope you remember the trouble I was having with my ex back then. Like you said, she was going to destroy me. If I would have taken you up on moving back to Cali, then I wouldn't be here now. Although I got involved in drugs again, doesn't mean I'm guilty of what I was charged with Dee. It didn't happen! Past or no past!

Not only did I get on my ex's wrong side, because of drugs and messing around with other chicks, I got on her mom's bad side because I refused to sleep with her. As well as stopped my ex from giving her my money. Well, my ex's mom and step dad knows everyone in the courthouse. Shoot, I was buying my coke from two different judges and a justice of the peace. They always threw parties at their ranch just outside the city, and everyone from the courthouse was always there.

Then, when my ex found someone else, she wanted to get me out of the picture and keep all the stuff we had that I bought and was doing. Then all of a sudden, the cops show up and arrest me.

Yes, I had/have a drug problem, Dee. Although I can't get any in here. I am working on that because I know it and can't fix it unless I admit to the problem. But I will continue to deny what I was accused of till I die, because it didn't happen! The proof is in the reports.

Anyways, how is Nadal? I sure would like to hear from him. It's been so long. I know I let him down. I let everyone down, Dee. Tell me what's going on with the family, please. There is an easy way for you to contact me online. Just go to Jpay.com and fill out my information. It's just like email except when it gets here, they print it out and bring it to me. I don't have access to a computer. I just bought this typewriter. That's why I am finally starting to write my blog again. The short of it is, I messed up my hand on another inmate in the county jail in '07 and it hurts to write for very long. And I can't extend all my fingers at the same time. So I haven't been writing.

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff I remember from our childhood, Dee. Most of it is not nice. I have some pictures of one of your birthdays, Dee, that I don't think you have! I haven't been in touch with anyone but Aunt Kay lately, not even the ones from LA. You already know how that family is. I won't get into that right now.

Anyways, I just wanted to write and hopefully get in touch with ya'll. I really don't mess many people around me because I don't like playing their games. I stay mostly to myself, and do my own time. It's not easy when you're doing it without family, but it is what it is.

Dee, I don't need anything but my family! I miss them. If I would've listened before, I'd be out there with ya'll right now. Anyways, I'm sorry for letting everyone down. I wish I could change it all, but it does no good to think about the past. But what we can do in the future. So I try not to dwell on the past.

Okay, please let me know what's going on with you and everyone else. Before I got locked up, you told me the docs told you that you didn't have long because of your kidneys. What changed?

I love you, Nadal, Mike and everyone else. Tell Mike to get in touch with me! Nadal too. Write when you can, I'll be here. Take care of yourself, Dee. Stay safe and well. Until I hear from you.

Your brother,
BY

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