The first thing I thought of when I read your post was when to put things down. I kind of remembered the example of Chief Joseph (perhaps you remember the movie: From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more).
The thing is, he never stopped fighting. He fought his whole life. He went to Washington - he spoke out everywhere for his people.
He never got his land back - the thing that he wanted so much. But we (Americans who are not native to this land) remember him and his example. And he has contributed - these many years later - to ongoing reforms. At my child's school, they talk about what we did to native Americans at Thanksgiving. When I was a child, this would not have happened.
I'm not saying there isn't much to be done (there is - native Americans still suffer). But his example is a powerful one of hope, courage and strength. And it made an impression that lasted so much longer than his life -
I am not someone given to fighting - so I don't know what it feels like to have all of that energy in life. But I DO know what it's like to be angry and feel like you are right. I can feel very angry and very self righteous! And I also know how hard it is to change (I'm trying!)
Putting down those feelings is always (always!) very hard. But I know that there is also honor in letting go of the fight. I work on that quite a bit ;-).
I'm old (50 this year) - and it's still hard to realize that my opinions are not the center of the universe. I just got into an discussion today in which I KNOW I'm right :) - but I also have to let it go. There is honor in letting things go - in the service of better things.
Anyway, I am sharing my struggle - because I also struggle - like we all do. It's different than yours, but to me it feels very real and powerful.
I think there IS honor in putting it all down, too.
I guess I'm just looking from the outside - and I see honor in what you are doing - the things that are good, caring (of your family and friends) - and positive. Urging kids to make good decisions - that's honorable.
But those men you looked at - you think you understand that they have no honor because of the choices they made.
You don't know this. It is possible that *for them* they had to do something very different in order to change. Maybe they *have* put it all down (the things from the past) and they are making an effort to be more peaceful, kinder - and the only way *they* could do this - was to make the decision they did.
Maybe - *for them* this was the only way to put down the anger/the need for revenge?
I'm not speaking for them - or even for *one* of them - I'm just reflecting that even things that look like defeat - or dishonor - from the outside - can be something else. How can we know? We don't even know what was said - perhaps the things they said only took responsibility for what they have done.
I know this is the point. And I'm not saying this is what happened. Just - how do we know? What value is there in judging what we don't know?
I'm asking if there is *benefit for you* - and I'm asking sincerely - out of respect.
You know, I think that I am an honorable person. I try everyday to do something that I can for someone else. I'm not wealthy - and I don't always have time to spare (I'm busy ;-). But every day I try to do something that helps. Even if it's just a very small thing.
This is honorable. To some people, it's a small life. But to me - my life is trying to help people. And that's good.
There is a lot that you have written and I've been thinking about how to respond. I'm pretty sure I can't do a good job of this - you have written so much - and there would be so much to write back. But I want to try - you'll have to forgive the fact that I have only responded to a bit. I have read it all a few times and have thought about it a great deal.
On the one hand, I feel like you have had a very difficult road - one that continues. I know that you have chosen to make the best of it (studying math, doing art).
I don't know how people survive in those SHU's without losing it. All the strength - and even all those codes you learned from the past - well, I'll bet they help. Without all of that - it would be harder.
I have a great deal of respect for you - I mean that sincerely. And please keep in mind that I do NOT support the process in California. I also very much believe in change and I hope that the policy of debriefing changes.
But here's the point that I also want to make. I think there is also strength in putting it down. You write that you looked at those men who were now in PC and you thought they had no honor. (That's what you meant?)
Hey David, we are looking at flights to come see you in May! Finally got things in order so she/ we can make it. Does May work? Please let me know via letter or here and I'll send you updated information for the visitor log.
I am in 110% for this wonderful program! You have my support in any way possible that you need me to be, just let me know. I will let you know via snail mail as well but seeing as how you have asked for our support via comments here it is!! Let me know what you need! Love and respect, Lynette9gypsyrose54)
Once again, thank you for writing, and I hope this message reaches those who can assist you.
By the forenoon And by the night when it darkens Your Lord (O Muhammad) has not forsaken you nor has he hated you. And indeed the future shall be better for you than the present And verily, your Lord will give you so that you shall be well-pleased.
My dear sweet cousin... been online googling away because I cant sleep and low and behold I see your sweet face ((hugs)) miss you lots and lots Scotty!! I wrote down your mail info I will get a letter out to you in tomorrow's mail. So much to catch up on with you. I have never posted in one of these forums before now and not sure how this works so yea I will send you the snail mail but right now ""know that your always in my prayers"" your deeply missed and loved back home. Oh yea its me your cousin Patsy... as I am writing this my thoughts are on that day I drove out there to SLO pick you up and we did a run to Santa Barbara before we headed back home... seems like a hundred years ago - any ways expect a letter; cant wait to hear back from you.. gotta say it again was so happy to see your face on those online picks along with your letters. Until my letter reaches you God Bless you my sweet dear cousin ((hugs))
RSS
The thing is, he never stopped fighting. He fought his whole life. He went to Washington - he spoke out everywhere for his people.
He never got his land back - the thing that he wanted so much. But we (Americans who are not native to this land) remember him and his example. And he has contributed - these many years later - to ongoing reforms. At my child's school, they talk about what we did to native Americans at Thanksgiving. When I was a child, this would not have happened.
I'm not saying there isn't much to be done (there is - native Americans still suffer). But his example is a powerful one of hope, courage and strength. And it made an impression that lasted so much longer than his life -
Putting down those feelings is always (always!) very hard. But I know that there is also honor in letting go of the fight. I work on that quite a bit ;-).
I'm old (50 this year) - and it's still hard to realize that my opinions are not the center of the universe. I just got into an discussion today in which I KNOW I'm right :) - but I also have to let it go. There is honor in letting things go - in the service of better things.
Anyway, I am sharing my struggle - because I also struggle - like we all do. It's different than yours, but to me it feels very real and powerful.
Change is VERY hard for everyone.
I guess I'm just looking from the outside - and I see honor in what you are doing - the things that are good, caring (of your family and friends) - and positive. Urging kids to make good decisions - that's honorable.
But those men you looked at - you think you understand that they have no honor because of the choices they made.
You don't know this. It is possible that *for them* they had to do something very different in order to change. Maybe they *have* put it all down (the things from the past) and they are making an effort to be more peaceful, kinder - and the only way *they* could do this - was to make the decision they did.
Maybe - *for them* this was the only way to put down the anger/the need for revenge?
I'm not speaking for them - or even for *one* of them - I'm just reflecting that even things that look like defeat - or dishonor - from the outside - can be something else. How can we know? We don't even know what was said - perhaps the things they said only took responsibility for what they have done.
I know this is the point. And I'm not saying this is what happened. Just - how do we know? What value is there in judging what we don't know?
I'm asking if there is *benefit for you* - and I'm asking sincerely - out of respect.
You know, I think that I am an honorable person. I try everyday to do something that I can for someone else. I'm not wealthy - and I don't always have time to spare (I'm busy ;-). But every day I try to do something that helps. Even if it's just a very small thing.
This is honorable. To some people, it's a small life. But to me - my life is trying to help people. And that's good.
On the one hand, I feel like you have had a very difficult road - one that continues. I know that you have chosen to make the best of it (studying math, doing art).
I don't know how people survive in those SHU's without losing it. All the strength - and even all those codes you learned from the past - well, I'll bet they help. Without all of that - it would be harder.
I have a great deal of respect for you - I mean that sincerely. And please keep in mind that I do NOT support the process in California. I also very much believe in change and I hope that the policy of debriefing changes.
But here's the point that I also want to make. I think there is also strength in putting it down. You write that you looked at those men who were now in PC and you thought they had no honor. (That's what you meant?)
Let me know what you need!
Love and respect,
Lynette9gypsyrose54)
Once again, thank you for writing, and I hope this message reaches those who can assist you.
By the forenoon
And by the night when it darkens
Your Lord (O Muhammad) has not forsaken you nor has he hated you.
And indeed the future shall be better for you than the present
And verily, your Lord will give you so that you shall be well-pleased.
Elizabeth-Anne