Hey Daddy, I don't believe I have ever stressed to you just how much I love you... That if I had a choice between having you as my father or some other mutha fcka who would be actively around/in my life from the day I came home from the hospital... I would still choose you bcuz you are an amazingly strong intelligible man who doesn't just love me bcuz I am his blood kin. Please forgive me for saying and thinking like this but I really think God fckd up when he took you from me and left me in the unloving and uncaring selfish & heartless monster of a mother. 36 years Daddy, all I have ever wanted was to know what it was like to have just one parent who would die for you, kill for you, comfort you, love you and support you or just pull threw in the clutch when you need it the most... Linda has never been any of Those Things or even remotely close. Hell she has never showed one kind gesture, said a kind word to me. I would go back repeatedly making excuses for why she said and did the things she did to hurt me, I kept telling myself she didn't mean none of it, all I ever wanted was my mommy but I would never be good enough for her time,attention or love when I was the only one who wanted to be around her, the only one who helped her. At 15 Dad I had dropped out of school and got me G.e.d. so I could work full time and pay the bills and take care of my two younger sisters and baby brother while she shot up and I cleaned up her messes. I hate her Dad, it should've been her and not you. You should be out here with me, that bitch is so cold hearted I don't understand why God continuously let's her walk this earth. It's not fair Dad! I apologize to for not being the daughter you deserve. I have been shitty, I need you in my life Daddy! I was talking to my homegirl while I was locked up in county doing 6months when I realized why I was going down the road I have been for so long and it was bcuz I was alone, I was lost so I hung out with drug dealers and gangsta's becuz I somehow wanted to feel close to you. And I have met some really amazing ppl who are more family than my blood. It's sad it not pose to be like that, Grandma Nora never raised us to be against one another. I miss her Daddy. I hope that there is a life after this one so we get the chance to do over what our hearts ache the most for. I was so busy looking for the love and acceptance in my life that I never realized that by me doing so I missed out on my children's lives. Daddy I love them and I am nothing like Linda but what I did to my kids even tho I never abused them mentally or physically don't mean I haven't hurt them as much as I hurt. I never intended to hurt them, dad please help me , they don't want nothing to do with me and I've respectfully listened to em when they asked me to leave them alone but like a coward I did that bcuz it was easier than to fight for them and lose. I couldn't stand another rejection, I wouldn't survive their rejection. Any way dad 8649084332 call me
In this work, I want to offer you a bonus liberated fact about the Holy Spirit,
In the book of Acts, in chapter 8, Phillip, the evangelist, yes, one of the original seven deacons is being written about by the writer of the Book of Acts, Luke, and both Luke and Phillip knew Jesus personally, watch this;
Phillip is directed by the Holy Spirit to catch up to a chariot that was carrying a Eunuch of the Ethiopian court, and Phillip hears the eunuch reading from the book of Isaiah and Phillip witnesses to the eunuch about the fulfilment of the prophecy, described in Isaiah 53. The Eunuch is baptised after, and its' the first recorded case of the conversion of someone who had been marginalised for gender reasons.
Obviously, the Holy Spirit had no problem with a man being a eunuch in fact the Holy Spirit told Phillip to catch up to the chariot because the Holy Spirit knew what Phillip didn't know the Eunuch was reading, out loud, Isaiah chapter 53, having more to do with the prophecy of Jesus' crucifixion, the same Jesus that left the Holy Spirit as a comforter for his disciples.
The Bible never says that the Eunuch stopped being a eunuch, it does, however, say that the eunuch was baptised, just like Jesus and John was baptised, yes John, the disciple that Jesus loved.
Dear Jennifer, it's 10 pm CET, so in one half an hour you got your parole hearing and I just hope you get the result you wish for. It is interesting to me that you mentioned that court case about barring LWOP in Europe, as the Netherlands is kind of the only country that de facto still has LWOP. Officially there is a way out but no one sentenced to a life sentence has made it out yet. Most Dutch people don't know this and have the impression their prison system is very liberal and rather too soft. There also is a conflict with the European Court because of this. Again, fingers crossed and all the best! Warm greetings, Julia
Hi Charles, I'm so sorry to hear about how things are there. What a horrible situation to try to live in. I hate rats! I remember a place I lived in early in adulthood and I saw rats at night and couldn't sleep at all because I was so afraid of them. Thankfully, we didn't end up living there too long. I was grateful to get out of there. I wonder the same thing as another person, could they release some cats to wonder the row? They could catch them and also bond with the inmates. It might be nice. I know I've heard of dogs in prisons where the inmates would train the dogs. Seems like the cats could be an option. I wrote to you before and I apologize for not writing since then. I enjoyed getting your letter too. My name is Dorothy and I'm from Michigan.
I'm sorry to hear too about issues with the coronavirus. What a horrible situation to be in. I have a few friends in prison and one of them actually tested positive for the virus. Thankfully, he is doing much better. He's been feeling down though because no visits are allowed. I seriously hope this virus gets under control so inmates can receive visitors again. I wish they could do video visits in the interim. I know some prisons allow that...but not the ones here in MI at least not that I'm aware of. I always enjoy seeing your letters even though sometimes it makes me sad to know how poor the situation is.
The direction towards non-violence begins with actress to quality information that is generated from the most respected source in prison subculture.
The LGBTQAI+ Movement in America is an amazing lesson, however, the new generation are not provided access to information about the existence of same-sex presence in a historical Mexico, Russia, Ireland, Spain, Africa, India, Islam, Christianity, Sports, Dance, hip hop, and everywhere there is a MIRROR.
SMS is the change, because the broadcast provides a greater interest to engage LGBTQAI+ groups, programs, and the freedom for one to change his mind about disrespectful conduct towards an irrefutable mirror.
This work is dedicated to Karl - Maria Kertben, that coined the words Homosexual, and Heterosexual for a specific reason that some how become lost and removed from LGBTQAI+ labels today. Silence gives consent - F. Smith
[image]
da'Vent segments of SMS programming was created to set the tone for the urban perspective presence of our culture.
Primarily made up of instrumental type beats that directly reflect inner city culture, in my past life, I'm known for.
As the former lead singer songwriter and DJ for EXTENDED VERSION, a 1990's Hip Hop R&B Dance crew, it was obvious that nobody would ever guess that one of us in our crew was gay, or that more of us associated with out Hip Hop society identified as same sex loving people, and the music and dance allowed all of us to be simply ourselves
With the program we call da'Vent, we did our best to make sure that writers, rappers, dancers, artist and creative urban perspective innovators had the soundtrack to our reality to be present and accessible for us to return to the focus of our better selves.
In spite of the homophobia in life, urban youth have always created safe spaces for skaters, and kids in foster care, and LGBTQAI+ youth and kids that just want to engage their own music without every song having lyrics that are antithetical to our LGBTQAI+ nature.
Beats don't judge, and da'Vent, or the 'WIRE, or Cellblock, TANK, dayroom, and Yard, now Prison MEdia Center Channel provides for a Safe environment for creative freedom, and peace.
When I was a kid I wrote a song titled "U." as an adult I recorded a tracer vex because I wanted my family crew "Perfect Timing" to record the song, and have the love of my life flow a verse on it, never had the chance for da'Kid to drop his verse so I left the track as a rough draft I dedicated this song to BMS because it was the first song I ever wrote about the future love of my life. Enjoy!
I recently had an opportunity to see what my crew did tothat video, and heard my tracer vex track from my former life, and it reminded me of why SMS is so important for the spiritual better versions of people like me, there who are creators of our own small spaces of freedom to just be.
Thank you for being the first donor of three disc loaded with over 100 type beats of Urban Perspective Music.
Sonikboi - Banning California based beat maker
Much love young nephew for donating da'Vent 2.0 disc to SMS, your mother should be very proud of the adult you have evolved into, absolutely incredible.
Sister Kathy - Holy Spirit Catholic Church Fremont Calif.
We are grateful for the over 900plus inspiration songs for the Sounds of Sunday/SMS programming.
DJ Jules - Netherlands based DJ
Without your commitment to countless hours of Youtube and Social Media donations, there would be no SMS. Because of you, SQSP Campus knows what love and care look like in real time. You are our foundation, friend, and HERO; BIG HUG
The First Responders
!8 years ago, the fight to bring an end to the beatings, spit assaults, excercise yard and chow hall attacks, forced rehousing to protective custody of SQSP Incarcerated Americans that identified to some degree as LGBTQI+ escalated to being douced with human urine and feces ans dirty condoms at the hands of fellow inmates that self-identify as active gangmembers and other inner-prison subcultural groups.
Circa 2016, Campus Jewish Rabbi Paul Shleffar, and American Indian Chaplain Hector Frank responded to the call for the need to start the First SQSP/Condemned LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group.
Then a true set of Heros visited the Group in the official capacity of associate Warden T. Allen, and Public Relations Officer S. Robinson who both made sure that the function of the new group and programming generated by the group would be stablized with engaged integrity; allow me to paraphrase a verse, For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but the spirit of power, love, and a Sound Mind.
(picture with text: LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group presents)
The members
1. Floyd 2. Calvin 3. Byron 4. Johnny 5. Skylar 6. Luis 7. Raynard 8. Jessica (transcended to Chowchilla) 9. Chris
The primary lesson here for those involved with prison reform is, to reform prisoners, one must engage the two primary valued perspectives in incarceration situations across the board;
#1. Respect #2. Disrespect
As we almost always focus our program designs to reform disrespect, we forget to provide reform programs a direct connection to what prisoners do respect.
The Sound Mind Streamer New Media Broadcast is designed for the direct connections of same-sex activities that existed precolonial era not just in Africa, but also to the history and culture of all prison subcultural groups.
Allowing for history to speak for itself, and providing all inmates equal access to the liberation of their own facts not only begins a new conversation but a mirror is the most powerful tool for the individual reform of each person.
Not being able to have a direct constructive effect on a situation where inmates spit, and toss water, urine, and feces and dirty condoms on gay inmates, who are beaten up, and forced into protective custody programming is enough for me to return to my most self-destructive self, the version of the prisoner that even the 6'o'clock news pays attention to.
When I am self-destructive and dying, alot of peoples official capacity is active, when I am self-constructive and living, the desperation of the action-oriented and authorized had me about to kill myself last night.
Even after we requested prison officials to give us institutional policy-related information to allow donors to donate industrial DVD players to replace the broken DVD players in the SQ Media Center, Nothing, no response.
There is a great misconception that gays, especially gay youth kill themselves because they are gay, when the fact is, gay people commit suicide because of the negative and rejection responses from family, church, and community that drives on to suicide.
For example, an urban perspective LGBTQI+ movie titled Moonlight, won an Academy Award for Best Picture was "privately screened in a prison chapel", perhaps some kind of beta test? It was said that inmates was repulsed, and some walked out, so it was decided not to broadcast the video of the film at SQSP. The story of a gay black boy, growing up in the hood, rejected, and screened in a hostile environment where homosexuality is viewed as an abomination of God.
Nobody ask Gay prisoners to screen Heterosexual movies in prison, and movies about white musicians like Elton John, and The Band Queen have been broadcasted, which is a clear racist implicit bias, and selective morality discrimination issue. Someone said yesterday, that the Bible says that "There is a time and place for everything!" Please try not to imagine how many times serial killers, child molestors, and gang members have quoted Bible and Quaran scriptures "at Me", So, yesterday, I said, "What about suicide?"
That comment alone left me with the Muslim population to engage for the remainder of the conversation, so I asked them, will Allah bless me with 70 virgin men, and live forever in paradise? Especially if I Martyr myself for my beliefs?
They to became silent, but not without a snide chuckle, so, I sat on the edge of the Bunk and said, I think this may be the time for me to kill myself, I fell into a deep sleep, awoke today and began to write this experience
6. I have never heard, since I've been here from 1997 to this very nano-second, a person claiming to be Christian, Muslim, Religious, or so-called active gang member of Gang affiliate use words like, nigger, beaner, wetback, cracker, nipp, kite, colored boy, or the famous, "YOU PEOPLE", over the open tier, or on the Prison's exercise yards. Yet, at any given time, whether it be an angry outburst of some kind, or jokes, and banter, or even simple idle chatter, I have, and still hear the words, Homo, Fag, Faggot, Pussy Niggaz, Gay ass muthafuckas, Saguni, Chajudo, and all of the other psychosexual, Hypermasculine demeaning words that exist antithetical to the respected nature of inmates that identify to some degree as LGBTQI+, and closeted family members. It is so toxic that earplugs or headphone use is not effective to miss the discrimination. I started a 1st ever LGBTQI+ Spirituality group, but staff refuse to announce LGBTQI+ over the P.A. system, they even asked the inmate advisors council should it be announced and the inmates said no, yet, staff announce, protestant, catholic, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness, AMI (American Indian), Budist [Buddhist], and Letter Day Saints, and Jewish Religious services over the unit P.A. System, NO LGBTQI+.
Our group created a Media Center LGBTQI+ Television Broadcast called The Sound Mind Streamer, The Jewish Chaplan, asked a free staff volunteer to help us in our endeavor, and this volunteer attempted to change our spirituality program into her vocational program, and actually told NBC News reporter that CDCR authorized her to replicate her program on Death Row, and identified it as our group, and she presented as LGBTQI+, gave us false promises, while attempting to overtake and steal our constructive program. That was not only disrespectful, but it also hurt. We finally got one of our many DVD's to be broadcasted over the inner-prison televised Media Center Channel, in late April of 2020?
Today is the 3rd week of June, which is PRIDE Month, nothing, even after the screening process morphed into and editing mission a) copyright rejections b) subtitle requirements which are NEW c) Broken DVD Players @ Media Center
Several years of hard work, debate, and construction building, at ZERO COST to the state, and community donor content, nothing.
So many have attempted to highjack the vision of The Sound Mind Streamer, and turn it into what they want it to be in order to stake some claim of creative origins credits, or, whatever goes through the minds of Megalomaniacs with proselytizing missions that refuse to serve the most underserved demographic of SQ Campus population equally and constitutionally, has driven me to just want to kill myself.
RSS
I don't believe I have ever stressed to you just how much I love you... That if I had a choice between having you as my father or some other mutha fcka who would be actively around/in my life from the day I came home from the hospital... I would still choose you bcuz you are an amazingly strong intelligible man who doesn't just love me bcuz I am his blood kin. Please forgive me for saying and thinking like this but I really think God fckd up when he took you from me and left me in the unloving and uncaring selfish & heartless monster of a mother. 36 years Daddy, all I have ever wanted was to know what it was like to have just one parent who would die for you, kill for you, comfort you, love you and support you or just pull threw in the clutch when you need it the most... Linda has never been any of Those Things or even remotely close. Hell she has never showed one kind gesture, said a kind word to me. I would go back repeatedly making excuses for why she said and did the things she did to hurt me, I kept telling myself she didn't mean none of it, all I ever wanted was my mommy but I would never be good enough for her time,attention or love when I was the only one who wanted to be around her, the only one who helped her. At 15 Dad I had dropped out of school and got me G.e.d. so I could work full time and pay the bills and take care of my two younger sisters and baby brother while she shot up and I cleaned up her messes. I hate her Dad, it should've been her and not you. You should be out here with me, that bitch is so cold hearted I don't understand why God continuously let's her walk this earth. It's not fair Dad! I apologize to for not being the daughter you deserve. I have been shitty, I need you in my life Daddy! I was talking to my homegirl while I was locked up in county doing 6months when I realized why I was going down the road I have been for so long and it was bcuz I was alone, I was lost so I hung out with drug dealers and gangsta's becuz I somehow wanted to feel close to you. And I have met some really amazing ppl who are more family than my blood. It's sad it not pose to be like that, Grandma Nora never raised us to be against one another. I miss her Daddy. I hope that there is a life after this one so we get the chance to do over what our hearts ache the most for. I was so busy looking for the love and acceptance in my life that I never realized that by me doing so I missed out on my children's lives. Daddy I love them and I am nothing like Linda but what I did to my kids even tho I never abused them mentally or physically don't mean I haven't hurt them as much as I hurt. I never intended to hurt them, dad please help me , they don't want nothing to do with me and I've respectfully listened to em when they asked me to leave them alone but like a coward I did that bcuz it was easier than to fight for them and lose. I couldn't stand another rejection, I wouldn't survive their rejection. Any way dad 8649084332 call me
In this work, I want to offer you a bonus liberated fact about the Holy Spirit,
In the book of Acts, in chapter 8, Phillip, the evangelist, yes, one of the original seven deacons is being written about by the writer of the Book of Acts, Luke, and both Luke and Phillip knew Jesus personally, watch this;
Phillip is directed by the Holy Spirit to catch up to a chariot that was carrying a Eunuch of the Ethiopian court, and Phillip hears the eunuch reading from the book of Isaiah and Phillip witnesses to the eunuch about the fulfilment of the prophecy, described in Isaiah 53. The Eunuch is baptised after, and its' the first recorded case of the conversion of someone who had been marginalised for gender reasons.
Obviously, the Holy Spirit had no problem with a man being a eunuch in fact the Holy Spirit told Phillip to catch up to the chariot because the Holy Spirit knew what Phillip didn't know the Eunuch was reading, out loud, Isaiah chapter 53, having more to do with the prophecy of Jesus' crucifixion, the same Jesus that left the Holy Spirit as a comforter for his disciples.
The Bible never says that the Eunuch stopped being a eunuch, it does, however, say that the eunuch was baptised, just like Jesus and John was baptised, yes John, the disciple that Jesus loved.
Awesome dude. I hope you win the nomination.
Stay safe and healthy, my guy.
it's 10 pm CET, so in one half an hour you got your parole hearing and I just hope you get the result you wish for.
It is interesting to me that you mentioned that court case about barring LWOP in Europe, as the Netherlands is kind of the only country that de facto still has LWOP. Officially there is a way out but no one sentenced to a life sentence has made it out yet. Most Dutch people don't know this and have the impression their prison system is very liberal and rather too soft. There also is a conflict with the European Court because of this.
Again, fingers crossed and all the best!
Warm greetings,
Julia
I'm so sorry to hear about how things are there. What a horrible situation to try to live in. I hate rats! I remember a place I lived in early in adulthood and I saw rats at night and couldn't sleep at all because I was so afraid of them. Thankfully, we didn't end up living there too long. I was grateful to get out of there. I wonder the same thing as another person, could they release some cats to wonder the row? They could catch them and also bond with the inmates. It might be nice. I know I've heard of dogs in prisons where the inmates would train the dogs. Seems like the cats could be an option. I wrote to you before and I apologize for not writing since then. I enjoyed getting your letter too. My name is Dorothy and I'm from Michigan.
I'm sorry to hear too about issues with the coronavirus. What a horrible situation to be in. I have a few friends in prison and one of them actually tested positive for the virus. Thankfully, he is doing much better. He's been feeling down though because no visits are allowed. I seriously hope this virus gets under control so inmates can receive visitors again. I wish they could do video visits in the interim. I know some prisons allow that...but not the ones here in MI at least not that I'm aware of. I always enjoy seeing your letters even though sometimes it makes me sad to know how poor the situation is.
I'll have to see if I can write further on jpay?
Take care and maybe talk soon.
Dorothy H.
non-violence begins with
actress to quality information
that is generated from the
most respected source in
prison subculture.
The LGBTQAI+ Movement in
America is an amazing
lesson, however, the
new generation are not
provided access to information
about the existence of
same-sex presence in a
historical Mexico, Russia,
Ireland, Spain, Africa,
India, Islam, Christianity,
Sports, Dance, hip hop, and
everywhere there is a
MIRROR.
SMS is the change, because
the broadcast provides a
greater interest to engage
LGBTQAI+ groups, programs,
and the freedom for one
to change his mind about
disrespectful conduct towards
an irrefutable mirror.
This work is dedicated to
Karl - Maria Kertben, that
coined the words Homosexual,
and Heterosexual for a
specific reason that some how
become lost and removed
from LGBTQAI+ labels today.
Silence gives consent
- F. Smith
[image]
da'Vent segments of SMS
programming was created
to set the tone for the
urban perspective presence
of our culture.
Primarily made up of instrumental
type beats that directly
reflect inner city culture,
in my past life, I'm known
for.
As the former lead singer songwriter
and DJ for EXTENDED VERSION,
a 1990's Hip Hop R&B Dance
crew, it was obvious that
nobody would ever guess that
one of us in our crew was
gay, or that more of us
associated with out Hip Hop
society identified as
same sex loving people, and
the music and dance allowed
all of us to be simply ourselves
With the program we call
da'Vent, we did our best to
make sure that writers,
rappers, dancers, artist
and creative urban perspective
innovators had the soundtrack
to our reality to be present
and accessible for us to
return to the focus of our
better selves.
In spite of the homophobia
in life, urban youth have
always created safe
spaces for skaters, and
kids in foster care, and
LGBTQAI+ youth and kids
that just want to engage
their own music without
every song having lyrics
that are antithetical to
our LGBTQAI+ nature.
Beats don't judge, and
da'Vent, or the 'WIRE,
or Cellblock, TANK,
dayroom, and Yard,
now Prison MEdia Center
Channel provides for a
Safe environment for
creative freedom, and
peace.
When I was a kid I wrote
a song titled "U." as an
adult I recorded a tracer
vex because I wanted my
family crew "Perfect Timing" to
record the song, and have
the love of my life flow
a verse on it, never
had the chance for da'Kid
to drop his verse so I
left the track as a
rough draft I dedicated
this song to BMS because
it was the first song I ever
wrote about the future love
of my life. Enjoy!
I recently had an opportunity
to see what my crew did
tothat video, and heard
my tracer vex track from
my former life, and it
reminded me of why SMS
is so important for the
spiritual better versions of
people like me, there
who are creators of our
own small spaces of
freedom to just be.
The Donor's
Sound Mind Streamer Donor's:
Tio McDonald - founder of East Oakland Times
Thank you for being the first donor of three disc loaded with over 100
type beats of Urban Perspective Music.
Sonikboi - Banning California based beat maker
Much love young nephew for donating da'Vent 2.0 disc to SMS, your mother
should be very proud of the adult you have evolved into, absolutely
incredible.
Sister Kathy - Holy Spirit Catholic Church Fremont Calif.
We are grateful for the over 900plus inspiration songs for the Sounds of
Sunday/SMS programming.
DJ Jules - Netherlands based DJ
Without your commitment to countless hours of Youtube and Social Media
donations, there would be no SMS. Because of you, SQSP Campus knows
what love and care look like in real time. You are our foundation,
friend, and HERO; BIG HUG
The First Responders
!8 years ago, the fight to bring an end to the beatings, spit assaults,
excercise yard and chow hall attacks, forced rehousing to protective
custody of SQSP Incarcerated Americans that identified to some degree
as LGBTQI+ escalated to being douced with human urine and feces ans
dirty condoms at the hands of fellow inmates that self-identify as
active gangmembers and other inner-prison subcultural groups.
Circa 2016, Campus Jewish Rabbi Paul Shleffar, and American Indian
Chaplain Hector Frank responded to the call for the need to start the
First SQSP/Condemned LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group.
Then a true set of Heros visited the Group in the official capacity
of associate Warden T. Allen, and Public Relations Officer S. Robinson
who both made sure that the function of the new group and programming
generated by the group would be stablized with engaged integrity; allow
me to paraphrase a verse, For God has not given us the spirit of fear,
but the spirit of power, love, and a Sound Mind.
(picture with text: LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group presents)
The members
1. Floyd
2. Calvin
3. Byron
4. Johnny
5. Skylar
6. Luis
7. Raynard
8. Jessica (transcended to Chowchilla)
9. Chris
The primary lesson here for those involved with prison reform is,
to reform prisoners, one must engage the two primary valued
perspectives in incarceration situations across the board;
#1. Respect
#2. Disrespect
As we almost always focus our program designs to reform disrespect,
we forget to provide reform programs a direct connection to what
prisoners do respect.
The Sound Mind Streamer New Media
Broadcast is designed for the
direct connections of same-sex
activities that existed precolonial
era not just in Africa, but also
to the history and culture of
all prison subcultural groups.
Allowing for history to speak for
itself, and providing all inmates
equal access to the liberation of
their own facts not only begins
a new conversation but a mirror
is the most powerful tool for
the individual reform of each
person.
When I am self-destructive and dying, alot of peoples official capacity is active, when I am self-constructive and living, the desperation of the action-oriented and authorized had me about to kill myself last night.
Even after we requested prison officials to give us institutional policy-related information to allow donors to donate industrial DVD players to replace the broken DVD players in the SQ Media Center, Nothing, no response.
There is a great misconception that gays, especially gay youth kill themselves because they are gay, when the fact is, gay people commit suicide because of the negative and rejection responses from family, church, and community that drives on to suicide.
For example, an urban perspective LGBTQI+ movie titled Moonlight, won an Academy Award for Best Picture was "privately screened in a prison chapel", perhaps some kind of beta test? It was said that inmates was repulsed, and some walked out, so it was decided not to broadcast the video of the film at SQSP. The story of a gay black boy, growing up in the hood, rejected, and screened in a hostile environment where homosexuality is viewed as an abomination of God.
Nobody ask Gay prisoners to screen Heterosexual movies in prison, and movies about white musicians like Elton John, and The Band Queen have been broadcasted, which is a clear racist implicit bias, and selective morality discrimination issue. Someone said yesterday, that the Bible says that "There is a time and place for everything!" Please try not to imagine how many times serial killers, child molestors, and gang members have quoted Bible and Quaran scriptures "at Me", So, yesterday, I said, "What about suicide?"
That comment alone left me with the Muslim population to engage for the remainder of the conversation, so I asked them, will Allah bless me with 70 virgin men, and live forever in paradise? Especially if I Martyr myself for my beliefs?
They to became silent, but not without a snide chuckle, so, I sat on the edge of the Bunk and said, I think this may be the time for me to kill myself, I fell into a deep sleep, awoke today and began to write this experience
Yet, at any given time, whether it be an angry outburst of some kind, or jokes, and banter, or even simple idle chatter, I have, and still hear the words, Homo, Fag, Faggot, Pussy Niggaz, Gay ass muthafuckas, Saguni, Chajudo, and all of the other psychosexual, Hypermasculine demeaning words that exist antithetical to the respected nature of inmates that identify to some degree as LGBTQI+, and closeted family members. It is so toxic that earplugs or headphone use is not effective to miss the discrimination.
I started a 1st ever LGBTQI+ Spirituality group, but staff refuse to announce LGBTQI+ over the P.A. system, they even asked the inmate advisors council should it be announced and the inmates said no, yet, staff announce, protestant, catholic, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness, AMI (American Indian), Budist [Buddhist], and Letter Day Saints, and Jewish Religious services over the unit P.A. System, NO LGBTQI+.
Our group created a Media Center LGBTQI+ Television Broadcast called The Sound Mind Streamer, The Jewish Chaplan, asked a free staff volunteer to help us in our endeavor, and this volunteer attempted to change our spirituality program into her vocational program, and actually told NBC News reporter that CDCR authorized her to replicate her program on Death Row, and identified it as our group, and she presented as LGBTQI+, gave us false promises, while attempting to overtake and steal our constructive program. That was not only disrespectful, but it also hurt.
We finally got one of our many DVD's to be broadcasted over the inner-prison televised Media Center Channel, in late April of 2020?
Today is the 3rd week of June, which is PRIDE Month, nothing, even after the screening process morphed into and editing mission
a) copyright rejections
b) subtitle requirements which are NEW
c) Broken DVD Players @ Media Center
Several years of hard work, debate, and construction building, at ZERO COST to the state, and community donor content, nothing.
So many have attempted to highjack the vision of The Sound Mind Streamer, and turn it into what they want it to be in order to stake some claim of creative origins credits, or, whatever goes through the minds of Megalomaniacs with proselytizing missions that refuse to serve the most underserved demographic of SQ Campus population equally and constitutionally, has driven me to just want to kill myself.