Hi Charles, I'm so sorry to hear about how things are there. What a horrible situation to try to live in. I hate rats! I remember a place I lived in early in adulthood and I saw rats at night and couldn't sleep at all because I was so afraid of them. Thankfully, we didn't end up living there too long. I was grateful to get out of there. I wonder the same thing as another person, could they release some cats to wonder the row? They could catch them and also bond with the inmates. It might be nice. I know I've heard of dogs in prisons where the inmates would train the dogs. Seems like the cats could be an option. I wrote to you before and I apologize for not writing since then. I enjoyed getting your letter too. My name is Dorothy and I'm from Michigan.
I'm sorry to hear too about issues with the coronavirus. What a horrible situation to be in. I have a few friends in prison and one of them actually tested positive for the virus. Thankfully, he is doing much better. He's been feeling down though because no visits are allowed. I seriously hope this virus gets under control so inmates can receive visitors again. I wish they could do video visits in the interim. I know some prisons allow that...but not the ones here in MI at least not that I'm aware of. I always enjoy seeing your letters even though sometimes it makes me sad to know how poor the situation is.
The direction towards non-violence begins with actress to quality information that is generated from the most respected source in prison subculture.
The LGBTQAI+ Movement in America is an amazing lesson, however, the new generation are not provided access to information about the existence of same-sex presence in a historical Mexico, Russia, Ireland, Spain, Africa, India, Islam, Christianity, Sports, Dance, hip hop, and everywhere there is a MIRROR.
SMS is the change, because the broadcast provides a greater interest to engage LGBTQAI+ groups, programs, and the freedom for one to change his mind about disrespectful conduct towards an irrefutable mirror.
This work is dedicated to Karl - Maria Kertben, that coined the words Homosexual, and Heterosexual for a specific reason that some how become lost and removed from LGBTQAI+ labels today. Silence gives consent - F. Smith
[image]
da'Vent segments of SMS programming was created to set the tone for the urban perspective presence of our culture.
Primarily made up of instrumental type beats that directly reflect inner city culture, in my past life, I'm known for.
As the former lead singer songwriter and DJ for EXTENDED VERSION, a 1990's Hip Hop R&B Dance crew, it was obvious that nobody would ever guess that one of us in our crew was gay, or that more of us associated with out Hip Hop society identified as same sex loving people, and the music and dance allowed all of us to be simply ourselves
With the program we call da'Vent, we did our best to make sure that writers, rappers, dancers, artist and creative urban perspective innovators had the soundtrack to our reality to be present and accessible for us to return to the focus of our better selves.
In spite of the homophobia in life, urban youth have always created safe spaces for skaters, and kids in foster care, and LGBTQAI+ youth and kids that just want to engage their own music without every song having lyrics that are antithetical to our LGBTQAI+ nature.
Beats don't judge, and da'Vent, or the 'WIRE, or Cellblock, TANK, dayroom, and Yard, now Prison MEdia Center Channel provides for a Safe environment for creative freedom, and peace.
When I was a kid I wrote a song titled "U." as an adult I recorded a tracer vex because I wanted my family crew "Perfect Timing" to record the song, and have the love of my life flow a verse on it, never had the chance for da'Kid to drop his verse so I left the track as a rough draft I dedicated this song to BMS because it was the first song I ever wrote about the future love of my life. Enjoy!
I recently had an opportunity to see what my crew did tothat video, and heard my tracer vex track from my former life, and it reminded me of why SMS is so important for the spiritual better versions of people like me, there who are creators of our own small spaces of freedom to just be.
Thank you for being the first donor of three disc loaded with over 100 type beats of Urban Perspective Music.
Sonikboi - Banning California based beat maker
Much love young nephew for donating da'Vent 2.0 disc to SMS, your mother should be very proud of the adult you have evolved into, absolutely incredible.
Sister Kathy - Holy Spirit Catholic Church Fremont Calif.
We are grateful for the over 900plus inspiration songs for the Sounds of Sunday/SMS programming.
DJ Jules - Netherlands based DJ
Without your commitment to countless hours of Youtube and Social Media donations, there would be no SMS. Because of you, SQSP Campus knows what love and care look like in real time. You are our foundation, friend, and HERO; BIG HUG
The First Responders
!8 years ago, the fight to bring an end to the beatings, spit assaults, excercise yard and chow hall attacks, forced rehousing to protective custody of SQSP Incarcerated Americans that identified to some degree as LGBTQI+ escalated to being douced with human urine and feces ans dirty condoms at the hands of fellow inmates that self-identify as active gangmembers and other inner-prison subcultural groups.
Circa 2016, Campus Jewish Rabbi Paul Shleffar, and American Indian Chaplain Hector Frank responded to the call for the need to start the First SQSP/Condemned LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group.
Then a true set of Heros visited the Group in the official capacity of associate Warden T. Allen, and Public Relations Officer S. Robinson who both made sure that the function of the new group and programming generated by the group would be stablized with engaged integrity; allow me to paraphrase a verse, For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but the spirit of power, love, and a Sound Mind.
(picture with text: LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group presents)
The members
1. Floyd 2. Calvin 3. Byron 4. Johnny 5. Skylar 6. Luis 7. Raynard 8. Jessica (transcended to Chowchilla) 9. Chris
The primary lesson here for those involved with prison reform is, to reform prisoners, one must engage the two primary valued perspectives in incarceration situations across the board;
#1. Respect #2. Disrespect
As we almost always focus our program designs to reform disrespect, we forget to provide reform programs a direct connection to what prisoners do respect.
The Sound Mind Streamer New Media Broadcast is designed for the direct connections of same-sex activities that existed precolonial era not just in Africa, but also to the history and culture of all prison subcultural groups.
Allowing for history to speak for itself, and providing all inmates equal access to the liberation of their own facts not only begins a new conversation but a mirror is the most powerful tool for the individual reform of each person.
Not being able to have a direct constructive effect on a situation where inmates spit, and toss water, urine, and feces and dirty condoms on gay inmates, who are beaten up, and forced into protective custody programming is enough for me to return to my most self-destructive self, the version of the prisoner that even the 6'o'clock news pays attention to.
When I am self-destructive and dying, alot of peoples official capacity is active, when I am self-constructive and living, the desperation of the action-oriented and authorized had me about to kill myself last night.
Even after we requested prison officials to give us institutional policy-related information to allow donors to donate industrial DVD players to replace the broken DVD players in the SQ Media Center, Nothing, no response.
There is a great misconception that gays, especially gay youth kill themselves because they are gay, when the fact is, gay people commit suicide because of the negative and rejection responses from family, church, and community that drives on to suicide.
For example, an urban perspective LGBTQI+ movie titled Moonlight, won an Academy Award for Best Picture was "privately screened in a prison chapel", perhaps some kind of beta test? It was said that inmates was repulsed, and some walked out, so it was decided not to broadcast the video of the film at SQSP. The story of a gay black boy, growing up in the hood, rejected, and screened in a hostile environment where homosexuality is viewed as an abomination of God.
Nobody ask Gay prisoners to screen Heterosexual movies in prison, and movies about white musicians like Elton John, and The Band Queen have been broadcasted, which is a clear racist implicit bias, and selective morality discrimination issue. Someone said yesterday, that the Bible says that "There is a time and place for everything!" Please try not to imagine how many times serial killers, child molestors, and gang members have quoted Bible and Quaran scriptures "at Me", So, yesterday, I said, "What about suicide?"
That comment alone left me with the Muslim population to engage for the remainder of the conversation, so I asked them, will Allah bless me with 70 virgin men, and live forever in paradise? Especially if I Martyr myself for my beliefs?
They to became silent, but not without a snide chuckle, so, I sat on the edge of the Bunk and said, I think this may be the time for me to kill myself, I fell into a deep sleep, awoke today and began to write this experience
6. I have never heard, since I've been here from 1997 to this very nano-second, a person claiming to be Christian, Muslim, Religious, or so-called active gang member of Gang affiliate use words like, nigger, beaner, wetback, cracker, nipp, kite, colored boy, or the famous, "YOU PEOPLE", over the open tier, or on the Prison's exercise yards. Yet, at any given time, whether it be an angry outburst of some kind, or jokes, and banter, or even simple idle chatter, I have, and still hear the words, Homo, Fag, Faggot, Pussy Niggaz, Gay ass muthafuckas, Saguni, Chajudo, and all of the other psychosexual, Hypermasculine demeaning words that exist antithetical to the respected nature of inmates that identify to some degree as LGBTQI+, and closeted family members. It is so toxic that earplugs or headphone use is not effective to miss the discrimination. I started a 1st ever LGBTQI+ Spirituality group, but staff refuse to announce LGBTQI+ over the P.A. system, they even asked the inmate advisors council should it be announced and the inmates said no, yet, staff announce, protestant, catholic, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness, AMI (American Indian), Budist [Buddhist], and Letter Day Saints, and Jewish Religious services over the unit P.A. System, NO LGBTQI+.
Our group created a Media Center LGBTQI+ Television Broadcast called The Sound Mind Streamer, The Jewish Chaplan, asked a free staff volunteer to help us in our endeavor, and this volunteer attempted to change our spirituality program into her vocational program, and actually told NBC News reporter that CDCR authorized her to replicate her program on Death Row, and identified it as our group, and she presented as LGBTQI+, gave us false promises, while attempting to overtake and steal our constructive program. That was not only disrespectful, but it also hurt. We finally got one of our many DVD's to be broadcasted over the inner-prison televised Media Center Channel, in late April of 2020?
Today is the 3rd week of June, which is PRIDE Month, nothing, even after the screening process morphed into and editing mission a) copyright rejections b) subtitle requirements which are NEW c) Broken DVD Players @ Media Center
Several years of hard work, debate, and construction building, at ZERO COST to the state, and community donor content, nothing.
So many have attempted to highjack the vision of The Sound Mind Streamer, and turn it into what they want it to be in order to stake some claim of creative origins credits, or, whatever goes through the minds of Megalomaniacs with proselytizing missions that refuse to serve the most underserved demographic of SQ Campus population equally and constitutionally, has driven me to just want to kill myself.
Most people have concluded that the self-destructive behavior of Gay people are cries for help, and could lead to suicide.
The self appointed helpful experts encourage high risk suicidal thinking people to open up and talk more, to get out and become more social, join a self help rehabilitative program, embrace spirituality and mediation etc, but most importantly, just talk to somebody.
Last night, I almost killed myself, Hello my name is Floyd Smith, I'm a condemned inmate housed at San Quentin State Prison, 2nd IAM, out of over 750+ people here, the only Black Man that openly identify as Gay.
For over 20 years, I have opened up to people who are supposed to be experts in the field of mental health, yet not psycho-sexually qualified to engage my non-pyschological, non-mental health homosexual disorder?
After being told by a mental health care provider here named Dave White that my homosexuality was a mental disorder, I realized that I had a choice, I could;
#1. Convert into the version of Christianity that Dave White was phase treating me with, OR seek other rational resolve, or, just kill myself.
#2. I began to be more social within the Condemned population, now that was great, until my presence within an earshot of my new social group didn't matter due to the ongoing toxic environment that is all things anti-homosexual.
(The General Distance Yelling Comments)
1. "Cops searched my cell again today, they must be in here sniffing my dirty boxers, gay ass muthafuckas."
2. "They don fucked our Youth up out there, turn on Channel 2, why these youngstas wearing skinny jeans, and all these bright as hell colors, they really think that gay shit is cool"
3. CDCK gave us these gay ass yellow yard bags to psychologically demasculate us.
4. This ain't real meat on this dinner tray, they're giving us soy meat to make us all feminine and soft.
5. I don't even wanna mention this shower shark cop on the gunrail watching me shower, up there getting his jellies off
When CDCR, and San Quenitn State Prison defer to the contengency of Lesbians to foster a curriculum designed for the programming of inmates that identify to some degree as LGBTI+, by default, CDDR exacerbates the ongoing deprivation for the resources, and funding, social justice, historical, and educational and spiritual and mental health of the continumn, and spectrum of all LGBTQI+ incarcerated Americans. -F. Smith
SO I took it upon myself to retire from Death Penalty related Journalism, and create a zine issue that was totally black perspective, historically, educationally, and yes, personally.
My TOP-Down research method, and inquiry findings concluded that,
a) All California Department of Corrections policies have been by way of Litigation Settlements refocused, with all care and attention to Department Responses to PREA - Prison Rape Elimination Act, claims are all designed to primarily effect the safety and security of inmates that identify as Transgender, which by default leaves inmates that identify as gay, or bi-sexual underserved and vulnerable to abuses.
b) At San Quentin, the Lead PREA Investigator presents as Lesbian, as do the Statewide PREA Coordinator.
c) The one, SQ mainline program is also headed by a volunteer that also presents as lesbian
with the combination of all three of these observations from within an All Male prison, San Quentin State Prison officials who are unaware of a 20 year devision within the LGBTQI+ community where a growing number of Programming agendas have been controlled by a contengency of Lesbians that have mission to retaliate against predominantly gay males that notibelly exluded Lesbians, and Trangender persons from the early days of the Gay Liberation movement, in an effort to re-begin the Epic Story within new curricullum that refocuses the Genesis of the movement to the 1969 Stonewall Liberation, headed by Trans women, that found a new sisterhood with Lesbian groups, that morph the new version of Gay history to include womens issues and causes of the day, at the expense of leaving Gays vulnerable to a nonprotected position. It is a factual point to make here that most Black gay prisoners that are so left out of the family we call LGBTQI+, that most don't know the source of the eclusion, which is now prepetrated primarily by Whites that present as lesbians, that have lobbied CDCR for leadership positions for the programming of inmates that identify as LGBTQI+ .
This conduct has been so observed in outter society of said racial exclusion, that Black LGBTQI+ persons had to create "BLACK PRIDE" recognitions and celebratins durring the month of June which is recognized as "PRIDE MONTH" all over the world, hence "Latino Pride" and more.
For those of You who are in denial, and reject this body of work, please research the recent official change to the Rainbow Flag to include the colors Black, and Brown at the top, and inquire as to why the community felt it necessary for the official inclusion of Black and Latino people in LGBTQI+ flag demonstrations.
In or about April 12, 2016 I was working as co-editor of the WRITE OR DIE Zine Project, which is the vision of a fellow California Condemned inmate that I had dedicated myself to for 6 years before THe Pulse Night Club Mass Shooting in Florida happened on that dreadful day which up to that point was noted by many as the worst Mass Shooting in American History, it was infact, the worst mass Shooting against The LGBTQI+ Community for sure.
Up to that moment, I was hit with my own realization that while working and writing for a predominantly Anti-Death Penalty movement, in Zine format, I had not written one word about my own conditions as the only Black Man on California Death Row that identified openly as Gay.
Beyond the "crowded closet," there is ZERO history of anyone gay on California Death Row, now, mind, you, near to 2013, there is 2 transgender girls, yet, one received re-assignment surgery and was re-housed at Chowchilla Prison for Women, and a very courageous Latino man that came out as Bi-sexual around 2 year ago, soout of 750+ people on Death Row 3 people identify to some degree as LGBTQI+, 3 in 750 ?
San Quentin has a 4,000 plus total inmate population, and durring a reent San Quentin Prison Media broadcast of the "EAR Hustle" opdcast episode titled "The Down Low," the Inmate host of the podcast stated that "No one at San Quentin is openly Gay, no one."
So from the total history of Death Row until now, I'm the only person at San Quentin State Prison that is Gay? Where else in any society can we find these kinds of numbers?, and why?
I pounded my fist on the wall to get the attention of the guy in the cell nextdoor, who at the time on April 12, 2016, who was none other than the creator of The WRITE OR DIE Zines, WODZ.
While asking if I could theme a WODZ issue LGBTQI+ in the wake of the Pulse Night Club Mass Shooting, he simply said "get' em," and this was the origins of how the Azande Press Zine issues evolved from that very first LGBTQI+ perspective WODZ issue titled "Poetry, Prose & Condz vole 3". This, and all Azande Press Issues are available @: South Chicago, ABC Zine Distro P.O. Box 721, Homewood, IL. 60430
(Black Gay Zine Issues) WODZ - Poetry, Prose & Condz vol 3 WODZ - I am Azande Azande Press - Sound Mind Steamer Azande Press - Sound Mind Streamer pt 2 Azande Press - Gaytekeepers Azande Press - Lberated Facts Azande Press - Direct MEssage Azande Press - SIX Azande Press - Parallelboi
After the release of the first WODZ issue - PP&C vol 3, I realized that I still had not dealt with the reasons as to why I was the only open gay black man in a prison that housed over 4,000 inmates.
RSS
I'm so sorry to hear about how things are there. What a horrible situation to try to live in. I hate rats! I remember a place I lived in early in adulthood and I saw rats at night and couldn't sleep at all because I was so afraid of them. Thankfully, we didn't end up living there too long. I was grateful to get out of there. I wonder the same thing as another person, could they release some cats to wonder the row? They could catch them and also bond with the inmates. It might be nice. I know I've heard of dogs in prisons where the inmates would train the dogs. Seems like the cats could be an option. I wrote to you before and I apologize for not writing since then. I enjoyed getting your letter too. My name is Dorothy and I'm from Michigan.
I'm sorry to hear too about issues with the coronavirus. What a horrible situation to be in. I have a few friends in prison and one of them actually tested positive for the virus. Thankfully, he is doing much better. He's been feeling down though because no visits are allowed. I seriously hope this virus gets under control so inmates can receive visitors again. I wish they could do video visits in the interim. I know some prisons allow that...but not the ones here in MI at least not that I'm aware of. I always enjoy seeing your letters even though sometimes it makes me sad to know how poor the situation is.
I'll have to see if I can write further on jpay?
Take care and maybe talk soon.
Dorothy H.
non-violence begins with
actress to quality information
that is generated from the
most respected source in
prison subculture.
The LGBTQAI+ Movement in
America is an amazing
lesson, however, the
new generation are not
provided access to information
about the existence of
same-sex presence in a
historical Mexico, Russia,
Ireland, Spain, Africa,
India, Islam, Christianity,
Sports, Dance, hip hop, and
everywhere there is a
MIRROR.
SMS is the change, because
the broadcast provides a
greater interest to engage
LGBTQAI+ groups, programs,
and the freedom for one
to change his mind about
disrespectful conduct towards
an irrefutable mirror.
This work is dedicated to
Karl - Maria Kertben, that
coined the words Homosexual,
and Heterosexual for a
specific reason that some how
become lost and removed
from LGBTQAI+ labels today.
Silence gives consent
- F. Smith
[image]
da'Vent segments of SMS
programming was created
to set the tone for the
urban perspective presence
of our culture.
Primarily made up of instrumental
type beats that directly
reflect inner city culture,
in my past life, I'm known
for.
As the former lead singer songwriter
and DJ for EXTENDED VERSION,
a 1990's Hip Hop R&B Dance
crew, it was obvious that
nobody would ever guess that
one of us in our crew was
gay, or that more of us
associated with out Hip Hop
society identified as
same sex loving people, and
the music and dance allowed
all of us to be simply ourselves
With the program we call
da'Vent, we did our best to
make sure that writers,
rappers, dancers, artist
and creative urban perspective
innovators had the soundtrack
to our reality to be present
and accessible for us to
return to the focus of our
better selves.
In spite of the homophobia
in life, urban youth have
always created safe
spaces for skaters, and
kids in foster care, and
LGBTQAI+ youth and kids
that just want to engage
their own music without
every song having lyrics
that are antithetical to
our LGBTQAI+ nature.
Beats don't judge, and
da'Vent, or the 'WIRE,
or Cellblock, TANK,
dayroom, and Yard,
now Prison MEdia Center
Channel provides for a
Safe environment for
creative freedom, and
peace.
When I was a kid I wrote
a song titled "U." as an
adult I recorded a tracer
vex because I wanted my
family crew "Perfect Timing" to
record the song, and have
the love of my life flow
a verse on it, never
had the chance for da'Kid
to drop his verse so I
left the track as a
rough draft I dedicated
this song to BMS because
it was the first song I ever
wrote about the future love
of my life. Enjoy!
I recently had an opportunity
to see what my crew did
tothat video, and heard
my tracer vex track from
my former life, and it
reminded me of why SMS
is so important for the
spiritual better versions of
people like me, there
who are creators of our
own small spaces of
freedom to just be.
The Donor's
Sound Mind Streamer Donor's:
Tio McDonald - founder of East Oakland Times
Thank you for being the first donor of three disc loaded with over 100
type beats of Urban Perspective Music.
Sonikboi - Banning California based beat maker
Much love young nephew for donating da'Vent 2.0 disc to SMS, your mother
should be very proud of the adult you have evolved into, absolutely
incredible.
Sister Kathy - Holy Spirit Catholic Church Fremont Calif.
We are grateful for the over 900plus inspiration songs for the Sounds of
Sunday/SMS programming.
DJ Jules - Netherlands based DJ
Without your commitment to countless hours of Youtube and Social Media
donations, there would be no SMS. Because of you, SQSP Campus knows
what love and care look like in real time. You are our foundation,
friend, and HERO; BIG HUG
The First Responders
!8 years ago, the fight to bring an end to the beatings, spit assaults,
excercise yard and chow hall attacks, forced rehousing to protective
custody of SQSP Incarcerated Americans that identified to some degree
as LGBTQI+ escalated to being douced with human urine and feces ans
dirty condoms at the hands of fellow inmates that self-identify as
active gangmembers and other inner-prison subcultural groups.
Circa 2016, Campus Jewish Rabbi Paul Shleffar, and American Indian
Chaplain Hector Frank responded to the call for the need to start the
First SQSP/Condemned LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group.
Then a true set of Heros visited the Group in the official capacity
of associate Warden T. Allen, and Public Relations Officer S. Robinson
who both made sure that the function of the new group and programming
generated by the group would be stablized with engaged integrity; allow
me to paraphrase a verse, For God has not given us the spirit of fear,
but the spirit of power, love, and a Sound Mind.
(picture with text: LGBTQI+ Spirituality Group presents)
The members
1. Floyd
2. Calvin
3. Byron
4. Johnny
5. Skylar
6. Luis
7. Raynard
8. Jessica (transcended to Chowchilla)
9. Chris
The primary lesson here for those involved with prison reform is,
to reform prisoners, one must engage the two primary valued
perspectives in incarceration situations across the board;
#1. Respect
#2. Disrespect
As we almost always focus our program designs to reform disrespect,
we forget to provide reform programs a direct connection to what
prisoners do respect.
The Sound Mind Streamer New Media
Broadcast is designed for the
direct connections of same-sex
activities that existed precolonial
era not just in Africa, but also
to the history and culture of
all prison subcultural groups.
Allowing for history to speak for
itself, and providing all inmates
equal access to the liberation of
their own facts not only begins
a new conversation but a mirror
is the most powerful tool for
the individual reform of each
person.
When I am self-destructive and dying, alot of peoples official capacity is active, when I am self-constructive and living, the desperation of the action-oriented and authorized had me about to kill myself last night.
Even after we requested prison officials to give us institutional policy-related information to allow donors to donate industrial DVD players to replace the broken DVD players in the SQ Media Center, Nothing, no response.
There is a great misconception that gays, especially gay youth kill themselves because they are gay, when the fact is, gay people commit suicide because of the negative and rejection responses from family, church, and community that drives on to suicide.
For example, an urban perspective LGBTQI+ movie titled Moonlight, won an Academy Award for Best Picture was "privately screened in a prison chapel", perhaps some kind of beta test? It was said that inmates was repulsed, and some walked out, so it was decided not to broadcast the video of the film at SQSP. The story of a gay black boy, growing up in the hood, rejected, and screened in a hostile environment where homosexuality is viewed as an abomination of God.
Nobody ask Gay prisoners to screen Heterosexual movies in prison, and movies about white musicians like Elton John, and The Band Queen have been broadcasted, which is a clear racist implicit bias, and selective morality discrimination issue. Someone said yesterday, that the Bible says that "There is a time and place for everything!" Please try not to imagine how many times serial killers, child molestors, and gang members have quoted Bible and Quaran scriptures "at Me", So, yesterday, I said, "What about suicide?"
That comment alone left me with the Muslim population to engage for the remainder of the conversation, so I asked them, will Allah bless me with 70 virgin men, and live forever in paradise? Especially if I Martyr myself for my beliefs?
They to became silent, but not without a snide chuckle, so, I sat on the edge of the Bunk and said, I think this may be the time for me to kill myself, I fell into a deep sleep, awoke today and began to write this experience
Yet, at any given time, whether it be an angry outburst of some kind, or jokes, and banter, or even simple idle chatter, I have, and still hear the words, Homo, Fag, Faggot, Pussy Niggaz, Gay ass muthafuckas, Saguni, Chajudo, and all of the other psychosexual, Hypermasculine demeaning words that exist antithetical to the respected nature of inmates that identify to some degree as LGBTQI+, and closeted family members. It is so toxic that earplugs or headphone use is not effective to miss the discrimination.
I started a 1st ever LGBTQI+ Spirituality group, but staff refuse to announce LGBTQI+ over the P.A. system, they even asked the inmate advisors council should it be announced and the inmates said no, yet, staff announce, protestant, catholic, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness, AMI (American Indian), Budist [Buddhist], and Letter Day Saints, and Jewish Religious services over the unit P.A. System, NO LGBTQI+.
Our group created a Media Center LGBTQI+ Television Broadcast called The Sound Mind Streamer, The Jewish Chaplan, asked a free staff volunteer to help us in our endeavor, and this volunteer attempted to change our spirituality program into her vocational program, and actually told NBC News reporter that CDCR authorized her to replicate her program on Death Row, and identified it as our group, and she presented as LGBTQI+, gave us false promises, while attempting to overtake and steal our constructive program. That was not only disrespectful, but it also hurt.
We finally got one of our many DVD's to be broadcasted over the inner-prison televised Media Center Channel, in late April of 2020?
Today is the 3rd week of June, which is PRIDE Month, nothing, even after the screening process morphed into and editing mission
a) copyright rejections
b) subtitle requirements which are NEW
c) Broken DVD Players @ Media Center
Several years of hard work, debate, and construction building, at ZERO COST to the state, and community donor content, nothing.
So many have attempted to highjack the vision of The Sound Mind Streamer, and turn it into what they want it to be in order to stake some claim of creative origins credits, or, whatever goes through the minds of Megalomaniacs with proselytizing missions that refuse to serve the most underserved demographic of SQ Campus population equally and constitutionally, has driven me to just want to kill myself.
No Turning Back:
Most people have concluded that the self-destructive behavior of Gay people are cries for help, and could lead to suicide.
The self appointed helpful experts encourage high risk suicidal thinking people to open up and talk more, to get out and become more social, join a self help rehabilitative program, embrace spirituality and mediation etc, but most importantly, just talk to somebody.
Last night, I almost killed myself, Hello my name is Floyd Smith, I'm a condemned inmate housed at San Quentin State Prison, 2nd IAM, out of over 750+ people here, the only Black Man that openly identify as Gay.
For over 20 years, I have opened up to people who are supposed to be experts in the field of mental health, yet not psycho-sexually qualified to engage my non-pyschological, non-mental health homosexual disorder?
After being told by a mental health care provider here named Dave White that my homosexuality was a mental disorder, I realized that I had a choice, I could;
#1. Convert into the version of Christianity that Dave White was phase treating me with, OR seek other rational resolve, or, just kill myself.
#2. I began to be more social within the Condemned population, now that was great, until my presence within an earshot of my new social group didn't matter due to the ongoing toxic environment that is all things anti-homosexual.
(The General Distance Yelling Comments)
1. "Cops searched my cell again today, they must be in here sniffing my dirty boxers, gay ass muthafuckas."
2. "They don fucked our Youth up out there, turn on Channel 2, why these youngstas wearing skinny jeans, and all these bright as hell colors, they really think that gay shit is cool"
3. CDCK gave us these gay ass yellow yard bags to psychologically demasculate us.
4. This ain't real meat on this dinner tray, they're giving us soy meat to make us all feminine and soft.
5. I don't even wanna mention this shower shark cop on the gunrail watching me shower, up there getting his jellies off
State Prison defer to the
contengency of Lesbians to
foster a curriculum designed
for the programming of inmates
that identify to some degree
as LGBTI+, by default,
CDDR exacerbates the ongoing
deprivation for the resources,
and funding, social justice,
historical, and educational
and spiritual and mental
health of the continumn, and
spectrum of all LGBTQI+
incarcerated Americans.
-F. Smith
retire from Death Penalty
related Journalism, and create
a zine issue that was totally
black perspective, historically,
educationally, and yes, personally.
My TOP-Down research method,
and inquiry findings concluded that,
a) All California Department of
Corrections policies have been
by way of Litigation Settlements
refocused, with all care and
attention to Department Responses
to PREA - Prison Rape Elimination
Act, claims are all designed
to primarily effect the
safety and security of inmates
that identify as Transgender,
which by default leaves
inmates that identify as gay,
or bi-sexual underserved
and vulnerable to abuses.
b) At San Quentin, the Lead
PREA Investigator presents
as Lesbian, as do the
Statewide PREA Coordinator.
c) The one, SQ mainline program
is also headed by a volunteer
that also presents as lesbian
with the combination of all
three of these observations
from within an All Male prison,
San Quentin State Prison officials
who are unaware of a 20 year
devision within the LGBTQI+
community where a growing
number of Programming agendas
have been controlled by a
contengency of Lesbians that
have mission to retaliate
against predominantly gay males
that notibelly exluded Lesbians,
and Trangender persons from the
early days of the Gay Liberation
movement, in an effort to
re-begin the Epic Story
within new curricullum that
refocuses the Genesis of the
movement to the 1969 Stonewall
Liberation, headed by Trans
women, that found a new
sisterhood with Lesbian groups,
that morph the new version
of Gay history to include
womens issues and causes
of the day, at the expense of
leaving Gays vulnerable to a
nonprotected position. It is
a factual point to make here
that most Black gay prisoners
that are so left out of the
family we call LGBTQI+, that
most don't know the source of
the eclusion, which is now
prepetrated primarily by Whites
that present as lesbians, that
have lobbied CDCR for
leadership positions for the
programming of inmates that
identify as LGBTQI+ .
This conduct has been so
observed in outter society
of said racial exclusion, that
Black LGBTQI+ persons had
to create "BLACK PRIDE"
recognitions and celebratins
durring the month of June
which is recognized as
"PRIDE MONTH" all over the
world, hence "Latino Pride"
and more.
For those of You who are in
denial, and reject this body
of work, please research the
recent official change to the
Rainbow Flag to include the
colors Black, and Brown at
the top, and inquire as to
why the community felt it
necessary for the official
inclusion of Black and
Latino people in LGBTQI+
flag demonstrations.
was working as co-editor of the
WRITE OR DIE Zine Project, which
is the vision of a fellow California
Condemned inmate that I had
dedicated myself to for 6 years
before THe Pulse Night Club Mass
Shooting in Florida happened on
that dreadful day which up to
that point was noted by many
as the worst Mass Shooting in
American History, it was infact,
the worst mass Shooting against
The LGBTQI+ Community for sure.
Up to that moment, I was hit
with my own realization that
while working and writing for
a predominantly Anti-Death Penalty
movement, in Zine format, I had
not written one word about my own
conditions as the only Black
Man on California Death Row
that identified openly as Gay.
Beyond the "crowded closet," there
is ZERO history of anyone gay
on California Death Row, now,
mind, you, near to 2013, there
is 2 transgender girls, yet,
one received re-assignment
surgery and was re-housed at
Chowchilla Prison for Women,
and a very courageous Latino
man that came out as Bi-sexual
around 2 year ago, soout
of 750+ people on Death Row
3 people identify to some degree
as LGBTQI+, 3 in 750 ?
San Quentin has a 4,000 plus
total inmate population, and
durring a reent San Quentin
Prison Media broadcast of
the "EAR Hustle" opdcast episode
titled "The Down Low," the Inmate
host of the podcast stated that
"No one at San Quentin is
openly Gay, no one."
So from the total history of Death
Row until now, I'm the only
person at San Quentin State
Prison that is Gay? Where
else in any society can we
find these kinds of numbers?,
and why?
I pounded my fist on the wall
to get the attention of the guy
in the cell nextdoor, who
at the time on April 12, 2016,
who was none other than the
creator of The WRITE OR DIE
Zines, WODZ.
While asking if I could theme
a WODZ issue LGBTQI+ in
the wake of the Pulse Night
Club Mass Shooting, he simply
said "get' em," and this
was the origins of how the
Azande Press Zine issues
evolved from that very first
LGBTQI+ perspective WODZ
issue titled "Poetry, Prose & Condz
vole 3". This, and all
Azande Press Issues are
available @:
South Chicago, ABC Zine Distro
P.O. Box 721, Homewood, IL. 60430
(Black Gay Zine Issues)
WODZ - Poetry, Prose & Condz vol 3
WODZ - I am Azande
Azande Press - Sound Mind Steamer
Azande Press - Sound Mind Streamer pt 2
Azande Press - Gaytekeepers
Azande Press - Lberated Facts
Azande Press - Direct MEssage
Azande Press - SIX
Azande Press - Parallelboi
After the release of the first WODZ
issue - PP&C vol 3, I realized that
I still had not dealt with the
reasons as to why I was the
only open gay black man in a
prison that housed over 4,000
inmates.